Maribell

Awake61

You are never alone. Good for posting.

doggonecarl

Why do we go back to drinking?

Lot of reasons, probably all related. Often it's because we aren't really doing anything to stay sober. We quit drinking, sure, but that's it. Our commitment waivers. We can't deal with the discomfort of early sobriety. We haven't made the changes in our lives we need make to support sobriety. We convince ourselves we don't have a problem. We decide we can drink normally again. We haven't learned how to deal with boredom, stress, anger, socializing, bad news, good news, the weather....

Any of this sound familiar?

Surrendered19

Day 16 for me Maribell. I've never tried to get sober until now and the only day here and there that I didn't drink before that was only because I was too sick from drinking to drink anything else. I am still dazed looking back by the insanity of all of it. I am starting to understand too how slips and relapses happen. My addict nag-headed demon that resides in part of my brain has been trying to get me to drink the last few evenings. I am feeling really good and healing up and losing weight and exercising and that voice is telling me it is time to try being a normal drinker. Anyway, I won't listen to that little shythead if you won't either Maribell.

bradly22

It could be that you aren't there just yet. Please give it another try. A few weeks may be all that you need to quit for good. Then, yoully be home free.

Maribell

Maribell

faith823

Hi,
I am back again day 40! Woke up optimistic. Went for a walk/ was hungry- wanted to keep walking to a bar to drink/eat/spend money I don't have and fool myself into thinking everything is normal. No its not normal- I end up sick for days/losing everything. I can not afford it. etc etc. Anyhow. Try and get through 24 hours that is it. I just had some icecream/banana/pnutbutter and it was good.
The craving has passed. I am also making some pasta for later. Its better than drinking 2000 calories worth of vodka. "it adds up"
Good job for posting here. Post here when you want to drink and the feeling should pass and you will have another chance to stay sober

Anna

Welcome back, Maribell!

Good job on Day 2. It sounds like you are able to stop drinking but then lose your way after awhile. I wonder what other changes you've made in your life when you stop drinking, in order to support your recovery?

brighterday1234

Hevyn

I'm glad to see you, Maribell. Unfortunately, it took me 30 yrs. of on & off drinking to finally decide willpower was of no use. One drink always led to 10. Posting and reading here every day really helped me stay vigilant. I hope you will get free for good this time.

DriGuy

To try to drink like a normal person was all I ever did until quit. I adopted total abstinence with some reservation at first. But it wasn't a strong reservation. I was actually ready to give alcohol up for good, but I had doubts that it would actually work. But it worked like a charm along with some other support.

This overpowering and widespread need to be a normal drinker keeps us out there trying and trying to somehow attain this goal, I suspect that need accounts for most relapses. Until you are ready to accept that you can't drink normally, it's just going to be a long drawn out battle that will never get better. Actually, it's probably more than just accepting that you can't drink normally. I think you have to also get to a point where you are sick of even trying.

When you are ready to quit trying, sobriety almost just happens. Outside of a few days of intense craving and a year of listening to that demon blathering at you that you are now well enough to drink normally, sobriety is surprisingly easy.

Of course you need to do other things too. If there's nothing else you would rather do, then maybe there wouldn't be much point in not drinking. But I don't believe anyone out there has nothing they would rather do.

The allure of drinking might be because it's so easy. Can you think of any other recreation that requires less skill or motivation than to drink? If you are resourceful, you can even bring all your alcohol, mixes, and drinking equipment right to the couch, so you won't have to get up again all evening, except to pee.

PhoenixJ

Maribell, I need daily strength and support from others to keep my recovery going. That is using SR. I am in a few threads found in the newcomer's forum. To bein a community thread helps me learn, give and get support and grow. It also means I have cultivated friendships over the time I have been in SR. I joined the class of March 2016 group, which I still log on to most days. Why not join the class of December 2019 thread?
My support to you.

Auchieshuggle

With me it was always procrastination. I would promise myself I would stop tomorrow or next week, or on my birthday, or my cat's birthday, etc. What's your excuse?

It seems to me that you have two options:

a) You continue drinking and accept all of the things you hate - associated health risks, cost of your addiction, weight gain, premature ageing, risk of social embarrassment, loss of productivity, hangovers, emotional damage, etc.

b) Accept that by procrastinating you are essentially fantasising and need to take action.

You can also do what I did, which is pray for divine help with option b.

Ask yourself, are you addicted? You're on here, which indicates you are.

Dee74

Hi Maribell - welcome back

it was easy for me to quit when I felt sick, but much harder when I felt good again. That's where SR saved me - it's much harder to justify drinking again when you're reading others stories everyday or re reading your own story back.

Its much easier to say no to yourself when you accept unequivocally you're an alcoholic.

The journey starts with the first drink - and you know where that journey ends.


D

Maribell

Its crazy when im not drinking im in the gym exercising and eating healthy , ive been doing that for 25 years as well, its pretty twisted either very healthy and feeling wonderful or fall down drunk for weeks , when im good im good but when im bad,, im sure you get it.

Maribell

Well instead of boozing it up on a Friday night im on this site, and will be daily , willpower is useless to me once i have that first drink any little bit of willpower goes out the door. Even posting here for one day is giving me strength . And will continue.

Auchieshuggle

Glad to read that. Hope you're staying strong.