Do people think I am 'clueless'
 

From day one I knew what was going on. Why I am not dead yet? I know names, numbers, what you look like. I don't have anything to lose. That is what your problem is........
..

I am venting. So angry and drinking. Wow, this is tough

I'm sorry you're so angry and that you're drinking. You know the best thing to do right now is to get rid of the alcohol. I think you will find that things seem better when you're sober.

Hi,

I can relate to being angry and drinking during the day. I am glad you posted. You post often. You have alot to offer. Do not let alcohol win...it wan't you to think what you are writing- all lies. Do not give up. Please eat something, drink some water and rest. Tomorrow day 1! 2019 is the year we both become Sober :)

You are drinking and perhaps saying things and typing things you do not mean and will not be able to take back. Hang in there and dump the booze maybe? Even half way into the day's supply, I imagine the next day is always better if you dump the rest. Tough ask I realize and I never made that decision for myself, not a single time.

I have no idea what you’re angry about wastinglife but holding onto anger isn’t healthy. Neither is drinking. I hope you pour out whatever remaining alcohol you have and hydrate, eat some and then sleep it off.

It is possible to be angry without drinking. Drinking makes everything worse. :( I hope you'll pour it out and get some sleep - start fresh tomorrow. :hug:

You can get back in control! You go!

I used to drink at people and what they thought me as well.
Like "I'll show you", here now I am drunk.
Ha, the only person I was harming was me. They didn't care that I continued to show them the drunk me, it was almost expected and I kept proving them they are right.
It was me that would have the hangover, feel unwell, worry about what was said or done during that drunk time.

It wasn't until I became sober and lived a life sober, that they started to really wonder and question when I would drink again. Then I got rid of all those people in my life and here I am 27 months (801 days) later, shining bright with positive people in my life, no longer worrying about what other people think about me, I could care less.

Can you please pour out the booze?
Call a sober friend?
GO to a meeting?
Keep talking here?

Don't sabotage sobriety by using negative things in life as an excuse to hit the bottle. The drinking will only make those things seem even worse. It's not uncommon for people to use the hardships in life to justify drinking, but as your nickname says, you are wasting life by doing so. There is something so much better on the sober side. You just need to take control.

Sounds like you are ina tough spot right now. I am not going to argue with you or give you some kind of "positive message" because in the end it has to come from inside you. I would guess that given the number of years you have been here you know that. I do hope things work out for you.

Hey WL

Drinking really only amplified my pain by the end.
It made me more angry, more resentful, and even more full of despair.

I know your moms death weighs heavily on your mind but I also know you were drinking before that happened too tho, so the solution is bound to be more complex than simply stop drinking.

At some point we have to deal with the underlying stuff too.
Thats scary.

I don't think you're clueless - I think you drink because, for whatever reason, it's the only option you know of at this point to deal with those feelings, those wounds..

Trying other things is scary, but I really hope you'll put the bottle down.

If there were answers in the bottle we'd all be emotional geniuses and never need the help of a place like SR.

D