Join Date: 10-24-2018 2 months before mom 'died' - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-03-2019, 11:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 36

Join Date: 10-24-2018 2 months before mom 'died'


Mom had a MASSIVE left side stroke on 12/24/19.

I called once at 3pm, no answer wished her a merry xmas... never called back.,... my one and only mistake...

Most elderly cant reach the phone in the first call call, but will answer on the 2nd call... i never made the second call. FAIL

As my mom laid on her bed room floor, from a massive stroke, I had a few...

had I called and she didnt answer i would have pinged my sister...

who would walk over and see whats up... discovered mom, the shot would have been given, and not all, but most would be ok.

but, because i DIDNT call TWICE... mom died, at hospice at 12:16pm 1/27/19

I know the exact date and time because I was there. and documented the exact time.


I Blame myself, I never went to the counselling that was offered. I would lose my rights in my state. This forum, did a wellness check on me... I spoke with the officers. Thank you.

I dont know how to stop. I like the feeling (mostly) the next morning is rough - maybe thats why dad preferred beer?

I keep my addiction very well hidden...

What bothers me is my drive home maps out the liquor stores on my way...
Meatball2 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Meatball2 For This Useful Post:
HeadEast (12-04-2019), MythOfSisyphus (12-04-2019), Zevin (12-04-2019)
Old 12-04-2019, 12:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 178,996
Blog Entries: 1
Hi meatball - reasonably long time no see - welcome back.

I don't think it's productive to blame yourself,

Its easy to be harsh with yourself in hindsight but you weren't to know that night was not like any other night.

One thing I do know is there is no amount of alcohol that will do anything for those guilty and other negative feelings you have.

I hope you decide to stop drinking, meatball.

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (12-04-2019), MythOfSisyphus (12-04-2019), Zevin (12-04-2019)
Old 12-04-2019, 12:07 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 215
I am sorry for your loss. Please don't blame yourself because you had no idea about what was happening.
HeadEast is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to HeadEast For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-04-2019), Delilah1 (12-04-2019), Zevin (12-04-2019)
Old 12-04-2019, 12:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Hi meatball - reasonably long time no see - welcome back.

I don't think it's productive to blame yourself,

Its easy to be harsh with yourself in hindsight but you weren't to know that night was not like any other night.

One thing I do know is there is no amount of alcohol that will do anything for those guilty and other negative feelings you have.

I hope you decide to stop drinking, meatball.

D
I dont like to come here.
Meatball2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2019, 12:55 AM   #5 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 178,996
Blog Entries: 1
Not sure what you mean but I'm sorry if I inadvertently offended you in any way.

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
MythOfSisyphus (12-04-2019), Zevin (12-04-2019)
Old 12-04-2019, 03:20 AM   #6 (permalink)
not a greeter
 
gypsytears's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,682
Blog Entries: 2
Perhaps it’s time to take advantage of the counseling that was offered you. It might help you process the guilt & pain. Drinking won’t do that.
__________________
Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. ~B.K.S. Iyengar
gypsytears is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to gypsytears For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-04-2019), Delilah1 (12-04-2019), Zevin (12-04-2019)
Old 12-04-2019, 07:11 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 11,310
Hi Meatball,

I’m glad you are here today. Something brought you here to check in, I think that something inside of you wants to get sober, I hope you will.

I know how hard it is to lose a parent, I lost my mom December 26th 2018, I was in the phone with her that morning while she was at an appointment, she wanted me to speak to the doctor because she felt they weren’t listening to her. After I spoke to them telling them she needed a chest X-ray because she thought the pneumonia had come back and nobody was listening to her, they said they’d call me back in a few minutes. When they called back she was on the way to the Ear because the doctor said she looked really bad, I called her cell and was on the phone with her when the phone dropped and she said “I feel like I’m going to pass out.” She died a few hours later. I live 3000 miles away and had lots of “what ifs” what if she had come to live with me, what if she would have gone to the doctor before Christmas (she didn’t want to), there were lots of what ifs.

You can’t blame yourself for your mom’s death, even if you were there when she had the stroke it may have been the same result.

The one thing I know for certain is that my mom loved me. She wanted me to be healthy and happy, and that absolutely means sober. I know your mom would want the same for you.

I hope you will reach out to the counselors you went to see, and think about checking in here to help you get sober. You are worth it.
__________________
Delilah

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
― Ernest Hemingway

Sobriety Date: January 1, 2016
Delilah1 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Delilah1 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-04-2019), Zevin (12-04-2019)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:20 PM.