Join Date: 10-24-2018 2 months before mom 'died'
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 46
Join Date: 10-24-2018 2 months before mom 'died'
Mom had a MASSIVE left side stroke on 12/24/19.
I called once at 3pm, no answer wished her a merry xmas... never called back.,... my one and only mistake...
Most elderly cant reach the phone in the first call call, but will answer on the 2nd call... i never made the second call. FAIL
As my mom laid on her bed room floor, from a massive stroke, I had a few...
had I called and she didnt answer i would have pinged my sister...
who would walk over and see whats up... discovered mom, the shot would have been given, and not all, but most would be ok.
but, because i DIDNT call TWICE... mom died, at hospice at 12:16pm 1/27/19
I know the exact date and time because I was there. and documented the exact time.
I Blame myself, I never went to the counselling that was offered. I would lose my rights in my state. This forum, did a wellness check on me... I spoke with the officers. Thank you.
I dont know how to stop. I like the feeling (mostly) the next morning is rough - maybe thats why dad preferred beer?
I keep my addiction very well hidden...
What bothers me is my drive home maps out the liquor stores on my way...
I called once at 3pm, no answer wished her a merry xmas... never called back.,... my one and only mistake...
Most elderly cant reach the phone in the first call call, but will answer on the 2nd call... i never made the second call. FAIL
As my mom laid on her bed room floor, from a massive stroke, I had a few...
had I called and she didnt answer i would have pinged my sister...
who would walk over and see whats up... discovered mom, the shot would have been given, and not all, but most would be ok.
but, because i DIDNT call TWICE... mom died, at hospice at 12:16pm 1/27/19
I know the exact date and time because I was there. and documented the exact time.
I Blame myself, I never went to the counselling that was offered. I would lose my rights in my state. This forum, did a wellness check on me... I spoke with the officers. Thank you.
I dont know how to stop. I like the feeling (mostly) the next morning is rough - maybe thats why dad preferred beer?
I keep my addiction very well hidden...
What bothers me is my drive home maps out the liquor stores on my way...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi meatball - reasonably long time no see - welcome back.
I don't think it's productive to blame yourself,
Its easy to be harsh with yourself in hindsight but you weren't to know that night was not like any other night.
One thing I do know is there is no amount of alcohol that will do anything for those guilty and other negative feelings you have.
I hope you decide to stop drinking, meatball.
D
I don't think it's productive to blame yourself,
Its easy to be harsh with yourself in hindsight but you weren't to know that night was not like any other night.
One thing I do know is there is no amount of alcohol that will do anything for those guilty and other negative feelings you have.
I hope you decide to stop drinking, meatball.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 46
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi meatball - reasonably long time no see - welcome back.
I don't think it's productive to blame yourself,
Its easy to be harsh with yourself in hindsight but you weren't to know that night was not like any other night.
One thing I do know is there is no amount of alcohol that will do anything for those guilty and other negative feelings you have.
I hope you decide to stop drinking, meatball.
D
I don't think it's productive to blame yourself,
Its easy to be harsh with yourself in hindsight but you weren't to know that night was not like any other night.
One thing I do know is there is no amount of alcohol that will do anything for those guilty and other negative feelings you have.
I hope you decide to stop drinking, meatball.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Meatball,
I’m glad you are here today. Something brought you here to check in, I think that something inside of you wants to get sober, I hope you will.
I know how hard it is to lose a parent, I lost my mom December 26th 2018, I was in the phone with her that morning while she was at an appointment, she wanted me to speak to the doctor because she felt they weren’t listening to her. After I spoke to them telling them she needed a chest X-ray because she thought the pneumonia had come back and nobody was listening to her, they said they’d call me back in a few minutes. When they called back she was on the way to the Ear because the doctor said she looked really bad, I called her cell and was on the phone with her when the phone dropped and she said “I feel like I’m going to pass out.” She died a few hours later. I live 3000 miles away and had lots of “what ifs” what if she had come to live with me, what if she would have gone to the doctor before Christmas (she didn’t want to), there were lots of what ifs.
You can’t blame yourself for your mom’s death, even if you were there when she had the stroke it may have been the same result.
The one thing I know for certain is that my mom loved me. She wanted me to be healthy and happy, and that absolutely means sober. I know your mom would want the same for you.
I hope you will reach out to the counselors you went to see, and think about checking in here to help you get sober. You are worth it.
I’m glad you are here today. Something brought you here to check in, I think that something inside of you wants to get sober, I hope you will.
I know how hard it is to lose a parent, I lost my mom December 26th 2018, I was in the phone with her that morning while she was at an appointment, she wanted me to speak to the doctor because she felt they weren’t listening to her. After I spoke to them telling them she needed a chest X-ray because she thought the pneumonia had come back and nobody was listening to her, they said they’d call me back in a few minutes. When they called back she was on the way to the Ear because the doctor said she looked really bad, I called her cell and was on the phone with her when the phone dropped and she said “I feel like I’m going to pass out.” She died a few hours later. I live 3000 miles away and had lots of “what ifs” what if she had come to live with me, what if she would have gone to the doctor before Christmas (she didn’t want to), there were lots of what ifs.
You can’t blame yourself for your mom’s death, even if you were there when she had the stroke it may have been the same result.
The one thing I know for certain is that my mom loved me. She wanted me to be healthy and happy, and that absolutely means sober. I know your mom would want the same for you.
I hope you will reach out to the counselors you went to see, and think about checking in here to help you get sober. You are worth it.
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