Too late for me?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 125
Too late for me?
What if I was the frog that didn't climb out of the pot until it was too late?
Never have dealt with anything so terrifying, lonely and soul crushing...and I've had my share of struggles.
I'm doing daily work on my sobriety, no cravings...just fear, every day morning to night.
Never have dealt with anything so terrifying, lonely and soul crushing...and I've had my share of struggles.
I'm doing daily work on my sobriety, no cravings...just fear, every day morning to night.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
It is never to late as long as you are breathing, just keep moving forward. You don't drown by falling in the river. You drown by staying there.
When I face my fears, confront them, and move forward that is how I get through them. When I do that, I get to the other side and freedom. When I do that I discover two things.
1.) I have way more strength than I give myself credit for.
2.) The fear was not near the boogeyman that I had built up in my mind.
Use your fear to put you in touch with your courage. Your courage will get you to the other side.
When I face my fears, confront them, and move forward that is how I get through them. When I do that, I get to the other side and freedom. When I do that I discover two things.
1.) I have way more strength than I give myself credit for.
2.) The fear was not near the boogeyman that I had built up in my mind.
Use your fear to put you in touch with your courage. Your courage will get you to the other side.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Have no fear this journey we are on is not scripted its different for all yet the same. If you get my drift. Thus that's what the sharing is all about see what work in for folks on this path. Pretty cool actually been doing it for 211 days so far. Many chapters to go. ✌
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Why waste a minute of worrying, is something
I have to remind myself often. Remembering
what is important, most important or else I
wouldn't have anything else in my life.
Sobriety and living a life in recovery is extremely
important and something I had to learn early on in
sobriety.
After I entered rehab via a family intervention,
placed into the hands of those knowledgeable
and capable of teaching me about my addiction
to alcohol and it's affects on me and those around
me, they handed me the gift of a recovery program
to learn and incorporate in my everyday life.
From the moment I left rehab and my 6 week
aftercare program, I knew that it was up to me
to take what was taught to me and continue on
with my own recovery doing everything humanly
possible to remain sober building a strong, solid
foundation to live my life upon moving forward.
That journey began the very first sober day I
had which back in Aug. 1990, some 29 yrs of
continuous sobriety.
Over the past yrs, I like many who have also
lived a life in recovery, have gone thru many
changes to become the best sober person I
can possibly be today.
With the program of recovery taught and learned
along with lots of faith and prayers, I remain teachable
to continue learning new and healthier ways to enjoy
living this sober life.
You can too. Let your recovery journey in life begin
relying on the help and guidance from others so that
you are never alone.
SR is here for you giving you lots of hope.
I have to remind myself often. Remembering
what is important, most important or else I
wouldn't have anything else in my life.
Sobriety and living a life in recovery is extremely
important and something I had to learn early on in
sobriety.
After I entered rehab via a family intervention,
placed into the hands of those knowledgeable
and capable of teaching me about my addiction
to alcohol and it's affects on me and those around
me, they handed me the gift of a recovery program
to learn and incorporate in my everyday life.
From the moment I left rehab and my 6 week
aftercare program, I knew that it was up to me
to take what was taught to me and continue on
with my own recovery doing everything humanly
possible to remain sober building a strong, solid
foundation to live my life upon moving forward.
That journey began the very first sober day I
had which back in Aug. 1990, some 29 yrs of
continuous sobriety.
Over the past yrs, I like many who have also
lived a life in recovery, have gone thru many
changes to become the best sober person I
can possibly be today.
With the program of recovery taught and learned
along with lots of faith and prayers, I remain teachable
to continue learning new and healthier ways to enjoy
living this sober life.
You can too. Let your recovery journey in life begin
relying on the help and guidance from others so that
you are never alone.
SR is here for you giving you lots of hope.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Try and stay in the present moment. I am very happy for you. Realized you had a problem and want to help yourself. That is huge. I was struggling early today and it has passed. I hope you feel content and safe in this present moment.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Sounds like you are going through a very painful time. I've been through such times so I have an idea what you are dealing with. Of course, everybody's situation is different, so I don't want to sound like I know what you are going through. But pain is something we all understand. I think pain is a demon much like alcoholism is. I think it's something that just wants us to give in to. Try to remember that you are much more than the pain you are dealing with. Pain can be incredibly sharp but it's really a small part of what we are made of. Your post reminds me of the saying, no pain, no gain. Try to look outside the pain and see the good around you. Good luck. John
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 125
First, thank you for all the responses. I appreciate everyone reaching out to me as no one in my life is aware. I suppose the fear in going through this alone makes it more gut wrenching. I have friends scattered throughout the US, but I cant imagine telling them what I'm going through and letting them down.
I have health anxiety and am a fairly worrisome person overall at this point in my life. Its grown to an overwhelming and all consuming point in my life now. Was never this way when I was younger, but over the years it has gotten worse with deployments, responsibilities, work stress, family illness, death of close friends and just age now that I'm in my early 40s. You might not sense it if you met me professionally, but inside it's like a raging inferno most days.
I know the worry isn't productive or healthy...it just takes over some days. Drinking myself to death's door until I quit in mid-October has been awful...more than half the days are pure hell.
Exercising, reading every day, attempting proper nutrition and rest to let my body heal..some days just no appetite when my anxiety is sky high.
I've kindled myself into hell. Baby steps are all I can do and hope I wake up every day.
Thanks again for your kindness.
I have health anxiety and am a fairly worrisome person overall at this point in my life. Its grown to an overwhelming and all consuming point in my life now. Was never this way when I was younger, but over the years it has gotten worse with deployments, responsibilities, work stress, family illness, death of close friends and just age now that I'm in my early 40s. You might not sense it if you met me professionally, but inside it's like a raging inferno most days.
I know the worry isn't productive or healthy...it just takes over some days. Drinking myself to death's door until I quit in mid-October has been awful...more than half the days are pure hell.
Exercising, reading every day, attempting proper nutrition and rest to let my body heal..some days just no appetite when my anxiety is sky high.
I've kindled myself into hell. Baby steps are all I can do and hope I wake up every day.
Thanks again for your kindness.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
The frog analogy isn't meant to scare anyone so I'm sorry if it did you, sadforldr7
Stretching the analogy to breaking point, it would only be too late for those frogs who have 'ceased to be' as Monty Python might put it
I drank all day every day and did for several years. If anyone should think it was too late it was me.
But I didn't want things to end that way - I changed my life entirely. I didn;t move house or cut my hair or anything like that...but I did start working on building a sober life I loved, and removing negative influences from my life.
With the help and support of SR I turned things around. One day at a time - good days, bad days but always sober days.
You can too.
D
Stretching the analogy to breaking point, it would only be too late for those frogs who have 'ceased to be' as Monty Python might put it
I drank all day every day and did for several years. If anyone should think it was too late it was me.
But I didn't want things to end that way - I changed my life entirely. I didn;t move house or cut my hair or anything like that...but I did start working on building a sober life I loved, and removing negative influences from my life.
With the help and support of SR I turned things around. One day at a time - good days, bad days but always sober days.
You can too.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,639
sadforldr, you are very obviously a strong person.
For several weeks now you have been suffering from acute anxiety. I'm not an alcoholic so I can't speak from that perspective but you did mention in one of your posts that you have been looking for a Doctor outside of your military environment.
Have you had any success with that?
I commend your courage, but there is exactly zero shame in seeking and accepting help. I hope that perhaps you will make finding that doctor a priority
For several weeks now you have been suffering from acute anxiety. I'm not an alcoholic so I can't speak from that perspective but you did mention in one of your posts that you have been looking for a Doctor outside of your military environment.
Have you had any success with that?
I commend your courage, but there is exactly zero shame in seeking and accepting help. I hope that perhaps you will make finding that doctor a priority
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 324
Originally Posted by sadforldr7 
First, thank you for all the responses. I appreciate everyone reaching out to me as no one in my life is aware. I suppose the fear in going through this alone makes it more gut wrenching. I have friends scattered throughout the US, but I cant imagine telling them what I'm going through and letting them down.
I have health anxiety and am a fairly worrisome person overall at this point in my life. Its grown to an overwhelming and all consuming point in my life now. Was never this way when I was younger, but over the years it has gotten worse with deployments, responsibilities, work stress, family illness, death of close friends and just age now that I'm in my early 40s. You might not sense it if you met me professionally, but inside it's like a raging inferno most days.
I know the worry isn't productive or healthy...it just takes over some days. Drinking myself to death's door until I quit in mid-October has been awful...more than half the days are pure hell.
Exercising, reading every day, attempting proper nutrition and rest to let my body heal..some days just no appetite when my anxiety is sky high.
I've kindled myself into hell. Baby steps are all I can do and hope I wake up every day.
Thanks again for your kindness.
I have health anxiety and am a fairly worrisome person overall at this point in my life. Its grown to an overwhelming and all consuming point in my life now. Was never this way when I was younger, but over the years it has gotten worse with deployments, responsibilities, work stress, family illness, death of close friends and just age now that I'm in my early 40s. You might not sense it if you met me professionally, but inside it's like a raging inferno most days.
I know the worry isn't productive or healthy...it just takes over some days. Drinking myself to death's door until I quit in mid-October has been awful...more than half the days are pure hell.
Exercising, reading every day, attempting proper nutrition and rest to let my body heal..some days just no appetite when my anxiety is sky high.
I've kindled myself into hell. Baby steps are all I can do and hope I wake up every day.
Thanks again for your kindness.
Like you I blame kindling, as I 'stopped' for several days over the last few months only to go back to the booze. I tried to taper my alcohol intake before stopping, but found that I was unable to control it and would end up getting completely drunk. In the end I just stopped with the aid of some valium.
I thought the anxiety was lessening, but the last few days have been hellish; I am now panicky, obsessing about my heart and worrying about whether this nightmare will ever end.
Best of luck, and may God bless you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by least
As long as you're still breathing, it's not too late. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by Dee74
The frog analogy isn't meant to scare anyone so I'm sorry if it did you, sadforldr7
Stretching the analogy to breaking point, it would only be too late for those frogs who have 'ceased to be' as Monty Python might put it
I drank all day every day and did for several years. If anyone should think it was too late it was me.
But I didn't want things to end that way - I changed my life entirely. I didn;t move house or cut my hair or anything like that...but I did start working on building a sober life I loved, and removing negative influences from my life.
With the help and support of SR I turned things around. One day at a time - good days, bad days but always sober days.
You can too.
D
Stretching the analogy to breaking point, it would only be too late for those frogs who have 'ceased to be' as Monty Python might put it
I drank all day every day and did for several years. If anyone should think it was too late it was me.
But I didn't want things to end that way - I changed my life entirely. I didn;t move house or cut my hair or anything like that...but I did start working on building a sober life I loved, and removing negative influences from my life.
With the help and support of SR I turned things around. One day at a time - good days, bad days but always sober days.
You can too.
D
47 days and I'm just doing my best to keep going. This weekend was very difficult. Lonely and scared as a grown adult...never thought I'd get here. Thank you as always, Dee...for your compassion and caring for all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by Auchieshuggle
I am going through a similar thing, indeed I am actually agoraphobic at the moment!
Like you I blame kindling, as I 'stopped' for several days over the last few months only to go back to the booze. I tried to taper my alcohol intake before stopping, but found that I was unable to control it and would end up getting completely drunk. In the end I just stopped with the aid of some valium.
I thought the anxiety was lessening, but the last few days have been hellish; I am now panicky, obsessing about my heart and worrying about whether this nightmare will ever end.
Best of luck, and may God bless you.
Like you I blame kindling, as I 'stopped' for several days over the last few months only to go back to the booze. I tried to taper my alcohol intake before stopping, but found that I was unable to control it and would end up getting completely drunk. In the end I just stopped with the aid of some valium.
I thought the anxiety was lessening, but the last few days have been hellish; I am now panicky, obsessing about my heart and worrying about whether this nightmare will ever end.
Best of luck, and may God bless you.
I quit for about 18 months in winter of 2017, then relapsed last year until mid Oct, wine binging. My blood pressure was normal today and that was the one moment of reassurance I've had...I checked it after a short visit to the gym.
I don't have an issue with agoraphobia, I'd actually welcome the company of a good friend. Moved to a new area and although very independent, going thru this alone has been torture.
I'm in the post acute phase I would assume with some sky high acute anxiety mixed in. Can't turn off the worry...brain just won't stop.
Blessings to you too...hope day by day we get a little stronger.
..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by trailmix
sadforldr, you are very obviously a strong person.
For several weeks now you have been suffering from acute anxiety. I'm not an alcoholic so I can't speak from that perspective but you did mention in one of your posts that you have been looking for a Doctor outside of your military environment.
Have you had any success with that?
I commend your courage, but there is exactly zero shame in seeking and accepting help. I hope that perhaps you will make finding that doctor a priority
For several weeks now you have been suffering from acute anxiety. I'm not an alcoholic so I can't speak from that perspective but you did mention in one of your posts that you have been looking for a Doctor outside of your military environment.
Have you had any success with that?
I commend your courage, but there is exactly zero shame in seeking and accepting help. I hope that perhaps you will make finding that doctor a priority
Ironic that I'm giving a speech to an audience of 200 this week and that causes me very little to no anxiety, but my mind will convince me of a million other things to ruminate and worry over...my health, my future, my weak constitution, my past and more.
Thank you trail, for lending your concern.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Originally Posted by sadforldr7
I just wake up hoping to feel loads better somedays and I'm not there yet...sometimes in reading the posts, it causes me more worry that I have passed a point of recovering and my health will permanently suffer.
47 days and I'm just doing my best to keep going. This weekend was very difficult. Lonely and scared as a grown adult...never thought I'd get here. Thank you as always, Dee...for your compassion and caring for all.
47 days and I'm just doing my best to keep going. This weekend was very difficult. Lonely and scared as a grown adult...never thought I'd get here. Thank you as always, Dee...for your compassion and caring for all.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 324
Originally Posted by sadforldr7
Best of luck to you as well, Auchie. I've been following a bit of your threads and I know you're making efforts to change your life too. The racing heart part of all this is brutal...I can relate.
I quit for about 18 months in winter of 2017, then relapsed last year until mid Oct, wine binging. My blood pressure was normal today and that was the one moment of reassurance I've had...I checked it after a short visit to the gym.
I don't have an issue with agoraphobia, I'd actually welcome the company of a good friend. Moved to a new area and although very independent, going thru this alone has been torture.
I'm in the post acute phase I would assume with some sky high acute anxiety mixed in. Can't turn off the worry...brain just won't stop.
Blessings to you too...hope day by day we get a little stronger.
..
I'm in the post acute phase I would assume with some sky high acute anxiety mixed in. Can't turn off the worry...brain just won't stop.
Blessings to you too...hope day by day we get a little stronger.
..
I've sent you a friend request (the first time I have sent one actually). Hopefully we can look back on this in a year and be grateful.
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