Posting to say I’ve been trying with some success but still really struggling
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 129
Posting to say I’ve been trying with some success but still really struggling
Just calling myself out for struggling and lurking and reading here to see what might be helpful. Been awhile since I last posted. Mentally I’ve been really unstable and very stressed out and the holidays are just going to add a heavy layer. Worried I might not make it through.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
The holidays are really awful for me. I think they add a stressful layer for everyone. I have nothing profound to say, other than to say that you are not alone. Actually, I do have something profound to say. Can we do Christmas every other year?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I'm glad you posted otterisland 
why not join us again as a regular poster - maytbe join the Class of November thread?
You've got a far better chance of getting through things with support than without.
D
why not join us again as a regular poster - maytbe join the Class of November thread?
You've got a far better chance of getting through things with support than without.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 129
Made it through T Day fine. Just worried about what the next 4 weeks (holidays) brings for challenges and the few weeks beyond that with other challenges.
i always come here looking for support but then it turns out it’s not what I was looking for....I need something else, but I just don’t know what....I’m in counseling, my family is supportive, I have two great kids and a fabulous husband, a challenging but good job. But I’m a mess inside.....just can’t pin point it. It’s something wrong in me....
i always come here looking for support but then it turns out it’s not what I was looking for....I need something else, but I just don’t know what....I’m in counseling, my family is supportive, I have two great kids and a fabulous husband, a challenging but good job. But I’m a mess inside.....just can’t pin point it. It’s something wrong in me....
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Join Date: Aug 2003
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I felt that way too, OtterIsland, at least for awhile. I realized that I had to do a lot of 'inside' work when I stopped drinking and it was challenging. I doubt that there is anything wrong with you, but maybe there are some underlying issues that you might want to work on. It might help if you journal, and thoughts might surface, or just spend some quiet time with yourself and see where your thoughts take you.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Hi,
I really hope you make it through the holidays sober. Sounds like your life in intact for the most part. Please do not let alcohol take, take and take like it did mine. I think the missing part is you know in your heart that something is amiss with the way you drink. Are you open to AA meetings? I know many successful people who became WHOLE by giving up Alcohol. Valuing yourself enough to admit you have a problem and obtain sobriety is very rewarding. Helping other people feel good about themselves and stay sober is also a gift.
My alcoholism took on a whole new depth of destruction/shame/soul sickness these last couple of years. I wish you health and support. It will be so nice of you to reflect on memories of a happy holiday season. I hope we both will
I really hope you make it through the holidays sober. Sounds like your life in intact for the most part. Please do not let alcohol take, take and take like it did mine. I think the missing part is you know in your heart that something is amiss with the way you drink. Are you open to AA meetings? I know many successful people who became WHOLE by giving up Alcohol. Valuing yourself enough to admit you have a problem and obtain sobriety is very rewarding. Helping other people feel good about themselves and stay sober is also a gift.
My alcoholism took on a whole new depth of destruction/shame/soul sickness these last couple of years. I wish you health and support. It will be so nice of you to reflect on memories of a happy holiday season. I hope we both will
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 129
Yes I’ve done AA meetings and it is not for me, but I do read the big book, I have several other resources from AA that I use as well.
I need to figure out why I keep going back to the drink....there is a trigger, a thought process, something I’m not catching in time to stop myself.
I need to figure out why I keep going back to the drink....there is a trigger, a thought process, something I’m not catching in time to stop myself.
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
Spiritual hole in the soul.
Alcohol fills it, you haven't done anything to substitute it.
"Restless, irritable and discontent" .... you would know that from the big book.
Some people stop drinking and everything is good.
Some people stop drinking and get what you've got.
Alcohol fills it, you haven't done anything to substitute it.
"Restless, irritable and discontent" .... you would know that from the big book.
Some people stop drinking and everything is good.
Some people stop drinking and get what you've got.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
There is some good advice here and there will be more. This is really hard! The holidays are hard. For me, they have become depressing. When you say you need something more than support, I really understand but I'm not sure what to do. But I know exactly what you are going through. For me, not any one thing kept me sober but a collection of little things. That collection changed every day as I figured out what was happening and what helping. There will be a lot of good advice here. Use what will help you. I am wishing you the best.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
There are other meetings than AA out there. I sure needed additional support, especially in early recovery.
Take full advantage of SoberRecovery! Here's an inspiring story:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Dee74's story - Part One)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html (Dee's Story Part 2)
Take full advantage of SoberRecovery! Here's an inspiring story:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Dee74's story - Part One)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html (Dee's Story Part 2)
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
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I think I get how you are feeling and counselling with definitely help figure out what all that mess is on the inside.
I am in counselling too and I reckon most of it comes down to shame. Drinking to cover up feelings of shame then the drinking/drinking behaviour just causes more guilt and shameful feelings. All that stuff breeds in secrecy and alcoholism is an illness that depends on secrecy too.
My advice is to try and continue to air all that stuff that is buried in a safe place. Look at the mess and figure out what it is, that way you regain a sense of trust and control in yourself. It's really hard but its worth.
You are doing great - making all the right choices. Just find a combination of things that work for you. I always thought I had to choose a program or plan, but lately I've realised I can develop my own. As long as it works for you then its good. xx
I am in counselling too and I reckon most of it comes down to shame. Drinking to cover up feelings of shame then the drinking/drinking behaviour just causes more guilt and shameful feelings. All that stuff breeds in secrecy and alcoholism is an illness that depends on secrecy too.
My advice is to try and continue to air all that stuff that is buried in a safe place. Look at the mess and figure out what it is, that way you regain a sense of trust and control in yourself. It's really hard but its worth.
You are doing great - making all the right choices. Just find a combination of things that work for you. I always thought I had to choose a program or plan, but lately I've realised I can develop my own. As long as it works for you then its good. xx
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
i always come here looking for support but then it turns out it’s not what I was looking for....I need something else, but I just don’t know what....I’m in counseling, my family is supportive, I have two great kids and a fabulous husband, a challenging but good job. But I’m a mess inside.....just can’t pin point it. It’s something wrong in me....
It was something wrong in me too - a void I could not fill with stuff no matter how I tried. It was bottomless.
I've had great success since I started working on healing the void. For me that was service work., volunteering, finding a purpose and meaning.
Its a rhetorical question really but how do you think you might heal your void and find purpose and meaning otterisland?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 129
Originally Posted by Dee74 
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It was something wrong in me too - a void I could not fill with stuff no matter how I tried. It was bottomless.
I've had great success since I started working on healing the void. For me that was service work., volunteering, finding a purpose and meaning.
Its a rhetorical question really but how do you think you might heal your void and find purpose and meaning otterisland?
It was something wrong in me too - a void I could not fill with stuff no matter how I tried. It was bottomless.
I've had great success since I started working on healing the void. For me that was service work., volunteering, finding a purpose and meaning.
Its a rhetorical question really but how do you think you might heal your void and find purpose and meaning otterisland?
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