Klynn45

Hi everyone! Long story short (sort of)
I was on this site a few years back, met such great people and received the best advice and support. It helped so much…. so I stopped posting and/or listening to anything recovery related because I was clean. And cured. and knew everything - obviously, since I had so long off my drugs of choice, right? Wrong ☹
In the time I was doing well I hadn’t really come across a situation that might trigger a relapse but I assumed when it happened I would be ok. When I was at the dr’s last week he prescribed some narcotics and I stared at him wanting to say no, I can’t have narcotics. EVER. What I actually said was ‘sure, thanks, can I have enough for the month, just in case?’ and couldn’t run to the pharmacy to fill them fast enough.
Back to the long story short part, the pills are gone and I both hate myself for taking them and wish I could get more. Clearly I was only doing well because I wasn’t put in a situation giving me a choice whether to use or not.
Guess I’m not so smart afterall.
So I’m back for more encouragement, advice, support and most of all, accountability for myself.
Thanks for listening ((hugs))

faith823

Welcome back. You are being honest with yourself and ready to start anew.
I hope you stay and post often. I am glad the experience made you realize you want to be Sober now. You could of very well kept on trying to find the narcotics to continue living in addiction. You posted here and asked for help. Great start.
Congrats on your new and improve sobriety plan

Klynn45

Thank you! )

brighterday1234

wiscsober

Looks like you got a free pass on this one...but not really....addiction is very patient.

Redouble your efforts of what got you clean and helped you live a narcotic free life.

Klynn45

thanks! it's great you're able to be so open and straight forward with people. Not sure why I find it tough but hopefully I'll get where you are someday.
soon would be good

Hevyn

I'm glad you came back, Klynn. I hope you'll stay with us.
My doc is alcohol, but I did a similar thing. I was sober 3 yrs. & thought I could have 'a glass' of wine. I know it doesn't work that way - there is no one drink for me. It took me a long time to recover from that mistake.
You are never alone!

wiscsober

My wish for you is to get it today.

You don't want to be like me, a fat old man at 58 yrs old, who has been around the NA and AA programs the last 39 years who at the most has strung 3 years clean and sober. Today is what I have and 2 months behind me.

I wanted to drink today probably for the same emotions and thinking you did with the narcotics. I also am addicted to other narcotics.
Addiction brought me to the highest points in life, and slung me to the absolute lowest. I've given up many times, but I just keep breathing and want to stay alive. Life is so much better than tolerable now. One day at a time.

Today I lived clean and sober because I do have a recovery plan. Also, part because of you. A chance maybe to help someone else. A moment to say no to addiction.

My wish for me today is to get it soon, also.

AND,

Klynn45

I hope you keep on the path you’re on as well.
And you’re right, as much as you need to do this for you – people like me need you to do it for us.

I’ve spent a long time trying to figure out why some people can do things in moderation when I can’t, but I think I have to resign myself to the fact that I just can’t. and maybe the why doesn’t matter.

Hope today’s a good day in your world 😊

Hevyn

2 great posts, wisc & klynn. I loved them both.

AnvilheadII

addiction is very patient.

very wise words. absolute truth. we will NEVER win against addiction - we will never amass enough sober time to "earn" the right to drink - and get away with it. we will never have the upper hand. it's truly best to accept this and plan accordingly!