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Not drunk, can't take it anymore

Old 11-24-2019, 11:29 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I hope you're doing a bit better now, Jeff. As you say, this too shall pass. I have a kind of stoic outlook; I really don't get too excited when things are going well and try to keep my chin up when they're not for the same reason. The good and bad are transitory and tend to swap positions. And the difference between them are often between my ears.

To me the core is sobriety. That's the only non-negotiable thing in my life. I can face all the other stuff, if not gracefully then at least with some composure, if I mind that one thing.
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Old 11-25-2019, 12:03 AM
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Thinking of you Jeff and sending support. I know what this feels like and it is scary, sad and frustrating.
I tend to get the idea that you are a lot like me, in that sitting around and "relaxing" doesn't help much. I need, and think you need, a more active approach. Go out for a screaming run. I barely run, but sometimes I just force myself as a way to get it all out. Or go for a hard workout. Or shower, dress, get out and hand out some resumes for a new job. Clean, organise. Anything productive, moving forward, doing something helps.
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Old 11-25-2019, 12:08 AM
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Jeff, I'm sending you my best wishes. I hope things change soon.
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Old 11-25-2019, 02:05 AM
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Hoping you are feeling better today Thomas. Surround
yourself with many who are also in recovery as you continue
to learn healthier ways to live your sober life.

Don't hesitate to visit your doctor for a good full physical
checkup, blood work, etc, because there maybe something
so simple that may have been missed and now they can
treat effectively.

Be up front and honest with them if medicine is to
administered so that they dont give you a prescription
that would interfere with your addiction recovery.

Eat healthy foods, get rest, exercise and talk to us
so that you are never alone.

We are always here for you, but surrounding yourself
with a recovery support group in person maybe helpful
too.

Love, support, care, concern, understanding sent
your way always.
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Old 11-25-2019, 02:51 AM
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Joe your feeling a bit better today keep going
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Old 11-25-2019, 03:30 AM
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Doing better everyone. But yet I think I have mental illness. It is 5:30AM where i am and I am up like it is noon. I often find myself awake at all hours simply because I can not sleep.
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Old 11-25-2019, 03:32 AM
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Glad to hear you feel better. I'm up at 3AM, it happens. I tend to chalk it up to age and anxiety.

Some days are better than others.

One thing I have found is that self-diagnosis (especially reading on the internet) with mental illness is not a good idea. I can convince myself I have every single personality disorder there is. We're all a little off, everyone has something.
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Old 11-25-2019, 03:35 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Glad to hear you feel better. I'm up at 3AM, it happens. I tend to chalk it up to age and anxiety.

Some days are better than others.
Hi bimini, you are a rock. I always appreciate your input.
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Old 11-25-2019, 03:54 AM
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Good morning Jeff. Thanks for updating us and I'm glad it's better for you today. It's going to be sunny so we got that going for us.
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Old 11-25-2019, 06:03 AM
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
Doing better everyone. But yet I think I have mental illness. It is 5:30AM where i am and I am up like it is noon. I often find myself awake at all hours simply because I can not sleep.
Glad you are feeling better Jeff.....but for me I absolutely had to have the help of my psychiatrist, and the right meds, to get me out of my darkness (victim hood!), pain, so on. I still do.

Sleep has been a pretty regular nemesis of mine, tho better (mostly) with time - and it's absolutely important to get help with, too, if we need it.
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Old 11-25-2019, 07:24 AM
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
Doing better everyone. But yet I think I have mental illness. It is 5:30AM where i am and I am up like it is noon. I often find myself awake at all hours simply because I can not sleep.
I think we've had this conversation before jeff. I was too proud to seek help for my mental illness for a long time. I was sober for about 2 and a half years before I finally accepted that I needed help - professional help. My issue was anxiety - health and GAD. Insomnia, panic, and just generally "locking up" mentally were part of my daily routine for years - literally. And I am certain much of my drinking over the years was a failed self-medication plan for said anxiety.

You are the only one that can pick up the phone and make a call - but i highly suggest you do it. I still have regrets for all the things that could have been if I would have just accepted things for what they are and gotten help years ago, but i'm very thankful that I did get the help. Your life can be so much better.
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Old 11-25-2019, 07:42 AM
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Hi Jeff,
I was going to comment last night when I first read your post, but there were already some very good posts by very good people. I didn't think I could add anything that hadn't already been said. I would however like to make a couple of quick comments this morning. I am mentally ill. I started having problems in high school and it hasn't ended. I can relate so well with what you were going through that it's scary. You loose all perspective of life. The feeling does end, but at the time you can't even grasp that concept. It's painful. Anyway, I'm rambling here. I'm not implying you are mentally ill, but you really need to go see a doctor. Finding a psychiatrist is easier said than done. Start with your personal physician, if you have one. Or start on the internet. You really need to do it sooner rather than later. As Dee so eloquently said, there is need to suffer.
Good morning!
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Old 11-25-2019, 02:38 PM
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Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
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Old 11-25-2019, 02:41 PM
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Jeff - I came here to see how you were too. Very relieved to see you posting and feeling maybe a little lighter. We will always care about you.
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Old 11-25-2019, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle
That's another great thought. Thanks Hevyn.
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Old 11-25-2019, 03:09 PM
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I agree with Scott - whatever this is it's not going away...it may not be obvious a lot of the time, but it's not going away.

I hope you decide to get some help, man

D
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Old 11-25-2019, 05:01 PM
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Jeff, I urge you to seek help for yourself, too. I know how hard it is to put yourself out there, but there is help available. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better.
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Old 11-25-2019, 06:22 PM
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Agreed, Jeff. You matter.
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Old 11-25-2019, 07:16 PM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
I think we've had this conversation before jeff. I was too proud to seek help for my mental illness for a long time. I was sober for about 2 and a half years before I finally accepted that I needed help - professional help. My issue was anxiety - health and GAD. Insomnia, panic, and just generally "locking up" mentally were part of my daily routine for years - literally. And I am certain much of my drinking over the years was a failed self-medication plan for said anxiety.

You are the only one that can pick up the phone and make a call - but i highly suggest you do it. I still have regrets for all the things that could have been if I would have just accepted things for what they are and gotten help years ago, but i'm very thankful that I did get the help. Your life can be so much better.
Thank you Scott, what you posted is important. I need help and need to get help.
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Old 11-25-2019, 08:34 PM
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Any physician can help. They have a lot more training in mental health issues than people realize. Given my history, I've especially appreciated the comments by Scott. It does get better!!!!!! The only requirement is that you see a doctor!
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