Mon Cheri chocolates
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 1
Mon Cheri chocolates
Hi there,
im totally new to this forum. I joined as my mother is an alcoholic (still refuses to admit it though).
she has agreed to a trial run of 10 days of no alcohol just to prove us wrong. It seemed to be going well-ish until today. She bought some chocolates that we get in France called Mon Cheri (dark chocolate with a cherry in the middle and alcohol).
Could this be a trigger? Does this count as “not drinking”?
I am completely new to the whole idea of alcoholism and it’s do’s and don’ts. But I’m completely alone in getting her through all this.
any tips?
I am not a drinker and have thrown out all the alcohol in my house.
If anyone could tell me about the chocolates that would be great!!
Best regards,
chelsea
im totally new to this forum. I joined as my mother is an alcoholic (still refuses to admit it though).
she has agreed to a trial run of 10 days of no alcohol just to prove us wrong. It seemed to be going well-ish until today. She bought some chocolates that we get in France called Mon Cheri (dark chocolate with a cherry in the middle and alcohol).
Could this be a trigger? Does this count as “not drinking”?
I am completely new to the whole idea of alcoholism and it’s do’s and don’ts. But I’m completely alone in getting her through all this.
any tips?
I am not a drinker and have thrown out all the alcohol in my house.
If anyone could tell me about the chocolates that would be great!!
Best regards,
chelsea
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,466
Welcome!
Since your mother refuses to admit she's an alcoholic, she will have a very hard time stopping drinking for good. Stopping drinking for 10 days will not prove whether you are an alcoholic or not. Many alcoholics go weeks, even months without drinking. It's more about what happens to you when you drink.
Most of us avoid alcohol using in cooking or food, because it is alcohol.
I hope that your mother decides to live a sober life and seek support for herself. You might like to check out AlAnon in your area as a support for you.
Since your mother refuses to admit she's an alcoholic, she will have a very hard time stopping drinking for good. Stopping drinking for 10 days will not prove whether you are an alcoholic or not. Many alcoholics go weeks, even months without drinking. It's more about what happens to you when you drink.
Most of us avoid alcohol using in cooking or food, because it is alcohol.
I hope that your mother decides to live a sober life and seek support for herself. You might like to check out AlAnon in your area as a support for you.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Hi & welcome to the forums. I don’t consider eating a candy to be the same as drinking at all. Personally I don’t avoid foods containing alcohol. I still cook with vanilla for example and if I were offered one of those cherry cordial candies I would certainly eat it. It’s hard to say whether it would trigger your mother into drinking. Especially since she hasn’t admitted or accepted being an alcoholic. In addition to Alanon as Anna mentioned, there’s a friends & family section of the forums you might find helpful 
.
.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,922
I’ll get told off for this 😀 but I occasionally cook with alcohol. I even had half a bottle of cider left over one time. I had a sniff for old times sake and poured it down the sink.
OK, I admit the alcohol will remain in the food unless it’s cooked to death, and therefore I will be consuming a small quantity of alcohol, but it’s not drinking from a glass or a can. It doesn’t have any mental effect whereas a real drink would be dangerous for an ex-heavy drinker like me.
I wouldn’t go out of my way to eat chocolate liqueurs (I never liked spirits or liqueurs thankfully), but i wouldn’t personally be too worried at having one.
But that’s me. If others are wary of cooking with alcohol, that’s the best way for them. Same with the chocolates.
OK, I admit the alcohol will remain in the food unless it’s cooked to death, and therefore I will be consuming a small quantity of alcohol, but it’s not drinking from a glass or a can. It doesn’t have any mental effect whereas a real drink would be dangerous for an ex-heavy drinker like me.
I wouldn’t go out of my way to eat chocolate liqueurs (I never liked spirits or liqueurs thankfully), but i wouldn’t personally be too worried at having one.
But that’s me. If others are wary of cooking with alcohol, that’s the best way for them. Same with the chocolates.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
I have suspected Celiac disease. Any amount of wheat/barley/anything with gluten creates difficulties for my body.
I respect this.
I'm not alcoholic. I have no desire to eat or drink anything that contains alcohol.
Sugar I enjoy.
I'm fit, healthy and enjoying life in many ways. Simply choosing things that are healthy helps greatly in moving forward.
Taking the focus off what others are doing and onto my own actions has been amazing. Whatever it takes to get there! Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery, Alateen/Alakid, prayer, meditation, etc.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
I’m completely alone in getting her through all this.
You don't have to be alone. There are many ways for family members to get support that is absolutely needed.
I respect this.
I'm not alcoholic. I have no desire to eat or drink anything that contains alcohol.
Sugar I enjoy.
I'm fit, healthy and enjoying life in many ways. Simply choosing things that are healthy helps greatly in moving forward.
Taking the focus off what others are doing and onto my own actions has been amazing. Whatever it takes to get there! Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery, Alateen/Alakid, prayer, meditation, etc.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
I’m completely alone in getting her through all this.
You don't have to be alone. There are many ways for family members to get support that is absolutely needed.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 545
I've always thought in many ways it's a mental thing, not physical. Say you go to a restaurant and the sauce was made with 1/8 cup of white wine and you didn't know....well then nothing will happen. It's only when you know it causes an issue.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,366
Hi Chelsea - welcome
It sounds like your mum is reluctantly agreeing ten days alcohol free because you, and possibly other family members, are worried about her.
Buying liqueur chocolates sounds like something I've have done to get past that no alcohol thing and fudge the issue (no pun intended).
If anyone objects they're only chocolates....right?
Whether or not your mum is a devious as I was or not, unfortunately until your mum admits there's a problem it's likely to be a constant tussle between you.
I understand the sentiment very well, but it's not your job to get her through this Chelsea - it's her job to admit her problem and get herself through this.
I hope she has a realisation soon. In the meantime you are very welcome here, and in our Family and Friends forums too, support and understanding assured
D
It sounds like your mum is reluctantly agreeing ten days alcohol free because you, and possibly other family members, are worried about her.
Buying liqueur chocolates sounds like something I've have done to get past that no alcohol thing and fudge the issue (no pun intended).
If anyone objects they're only chocolates....right?
Whether or not your mum is a devious as I was or not, unfortunately until your mum admits there's a problem it's likely to be a constant tussle between you.
I understand the sentiment very well, but it's not your job to get her through this Chelsea - it's her job to admit her problem and get herself through this.
I hope she has a realisation soon. In the meantime you are very welcome here, and in our Family and Friends forums too, support and understanding assured
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
I am an alcoholic and I would not eat liquor chocolates. 100% no. It's like a shot albeit a small shot of pure alcohol in a chocolate. There are plenty of other chocolates to enjoy that do not contain any alcohol. That is of course if it is only chocolate you desire.
However, if your mum is in denial about being an alcoholic and just having some time off the booze that is a pretty classic trait of someone sneakily getting alcohol. I should know , I did it myself years ago when I was pregnant and it was Christmas day and I couldn't drink how I wanted to drink and so I made a bee line for the cherry liquers. Did I eat them just because they were chocolate. No. Did I eat them because it was a way of getting alcohol in me? Yes. However I would have completely denied that at the time.
However, if your mum is in denial about being an alcoholic and just having some time off the booze that is a pretty classic trait of someone sneakily getting alcohol. I should know , I did it myself years ago when I was pregnant and it was Christmas day and I couldn't drink how I wanted to drink and so I made a bee line for the cherry liquers. Did I eat them just because they were chocolate. No. Did I eat them because it was a way of getting alcohol in me? Yes. However I would have completely denied that at the time.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
ha, i grew up in Germany and i have had those chocolates with liquor. more accurately: i have had that booze with the chocolate around it.
strong stuff.
trigger?
for me, it would not be a trigger as i consider it drinking. this is straightforward alcohol, and not something cooked with alcohol. way beyond trigger. and yeah, if it were me, i’d be drinking more after that, as just having a few boozy chocolates would be worse than having nothing at all.
your mother might be different.
farther down the forums list, there are sections for “friends and families”, and you might find that helpful.
as a sober alcoholic, i do not deliberately and intentionally ingest alcohol in any form.
strong stuff.
trigger?
for me, it would not be a trigger as i consider it drinking. this is straightforward alcohol, and not something cooked with alcohol. way beyond trigger. and yeah, if it were me, i’d be drinking more after that, as just having a few boozy chocolates would be worse than having nothing at all.
your mother might be different.
farther down the forums list, there are sections for “friends and families”, and you might find that helpful.
as a sober alcoholic, i do not deliberately and intentionally ingest alcohol in any form.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
My mother in law who is not much of a drinker made brandy balls one year. When my husband and I came by to visit she was extra chatty and sweet. She explained how she made brandy balls because she didn’t know what to do with her father’s extra brandy after he moved to a convalescent home.
She offered one to my husband who took her up on the offer. He took one bite and said, “whoa! Those are strong! I can feel the booze on my breath!” She giggled and agreed they were strong. I then realized my mother in law was drunk. At the time it was kind of funny.
So, your mom may or may not be trying to get a buzz but if she’s a heavy drinker she won’t get one. But, yes she is technically consuming alcohol.
I would be more concerned about what YOU plan to do after the ten days are up. If she is an alcoholic and does not admit it and get help, she will surely return to the same drinking behavior. You need to be prepared for that and I’ve heard al-anon is a great resource for those who suffer with loved ones who are alcoholic.
She offered one to my husband who took her up on the offer. He took one bite and said, “whoa! Those are strong! I can feel the booze on my breath!” She giggled and agreed they were strong. I then realized my mother in law was drunk. At the time it was kind of funny.
So, your mom may or may not be trying to get a buzz but if she’s a heavy drinker she won’t get one. But, yes she is technically consuming alcohol.
I would be more concerned about what YOU plan to do after the ten days are up. If she is an alcoholic and does not admit it and get help, she will surely return to the same drinking behavior. You need to be prepared for that and I’ve heard al-anon is a great resource for those who suffer with loved ones who are alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
The idea of them triggers me so for that reason I wouldn't eat them. In reality you would have to eat an awful lot to get any effect.
I hope your Mum realises and accepts she has a problem soon and makes her own choice to stop drinking.
I hope your Mum realises and accepts she has a problem soon and makes her own choice to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 201
Those chocolates are pretty strong! How many boxes did she get? Seriously though my AV would have been sneaky if I couldn’t drink for 10 days I would be thinking how could I get alcohol and may have thought of something similar. Us alcoholics can be pretty sneaky haha!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
There was never a time where I cooked gravy with red wine or ate liquor chocolates as an excuse to consume alcohol. When I wanted to get drunk, I reached for the bottle of rum, mixed it with coke and drank.
I still cook with alcohol on occasion and I'd certainly not reset my sober clock for eating a liquor chocolate or a slice of Jamaican rum cake. None of those are triggers for me, but they could be for other people. They could absolutely be a trigger for you mum or simply and excuse for a tiny bit of alcohol, but you honestly can't really control her actions or make her not drink if she wants to. Hopefully if she really does have a problem, she'll take it upon herself to do something about it.
I still cook with alcohol on occasion and I'd certainly not reset my sober clock for eating a liquor chocolate or a slice of Jamaican rum cake. None of those are triggers for me, but they could be for other people. They could absolutely be a trigger for you mum or simply and excuse for a tiny bit of alcohol, but you honestly can't really control her actions or make her not drink if she wants to. Hopefully if she really does have a problem, she'll take it upon herself to do something about it.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,922
Originally Posted by NerfThis 
I still cook with alcohol on occasion and I'd certainly not reset my sober clock for eating a liquor chocolate or a slice of Jamaican rum cake. None of those are triggers for me, but they could be for other people. They could absolutely be a trigger for you mum
I occasionally cook with alcohol, I know it doesn’t all boil away so I ingest a tiny amount of alcohol. My sober clock isn’t affected either.
Sorry, I get frustrated with other posters who have their way and that’s the only way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
These particular chocolates are similar to taking tiny sips of liquor they are very strong - and it's not just that it could trigger someone mentally, those gaba receptors are wide open and ready for any amount of alcohol and will find minute amounts in the system and hold onto them. Not worth the risk.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,366
Personally I think cooking with alcohol etc is a whole different thread topic, but I haven't seen any I'm right and you're all wrong posts in this thread 
As far as chocolates go, I've never gotten drunk off them either but when I was drinking the amount of chocolate I'd have to eat to get a buzz would make me sick so maybe in this instance it's a moot point?
Not had them sober as I recall the alcohol taste was really prominent.
Based upon my own deviousness as an active drinker, I can see how they might be used to get around a promise not to drink for ten days.
There could be other deviousness going on too.
I blamed liqueur chocolates for the smell of alcohol on me more than once.
I hope the OP comes back so we can get on track again.
D
As far as chocolates go, I've never gotten drunk off them either but when I was drinking the amount of chocolate I'd have to eat to get a buzz would make me sick so maybe in this instance it's a moot point?
Not had them sober as I recall the alcohol taste was really prominent.
Based upon my own deviousness as an active drinker, I can see how they might be used to get around a promise not to drink for ten days.
There could be other deviousness going on too.
I blamed liqueur chocolates for the smell of alcohol on me more than once.
I hope the OP comes back so we can get on track again.
D
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