Sober life is hard
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 83
Sober life is hard
... but I know it’s easier than it was when I was drinking. I’ve said it before, but it just keeps being true that this year has been a mixed bag. I’ve stayed sober for over 10 months now (crazy!), shared to a number of friends that I stopped drinking (not going into all the details, but at least have not avoided the topic) and had some great successes at work and home. However, I’ve also lost a number of friends and acquaintances in various ways, totally unrelated to drinking! When that’s added to the occasions I’ve missed because of alcohol, my FOMO and self-consciousness really flare up. I don’t want to drink, but I’d be lying if I hadn’t thought recently how nice it would be to numb some of the pain I was feeling about some recent hurts. I didn’t, instead I played the tape forward, read some of your posts, reminded myself what would really happen if I drank and then went to bed early. Sigh. I’m feeling so good and healthy and on-top-of-my-game in some ways, but am also feeling like a nervous, scared little kid in other ways. Oh well, I’ll take the sober ups and downs over the roller coaster of drinking any day. 10 months and counting!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
I agree, Keeping Up. Sober life is hard, drinking life is even harder! Life is hard. Sometimes it's not, though, sometimes it's worth all the hard stuff because the good stuff is so good.
Sending big hugs your way, and I hope you have lots of easy, good things coming very soon.
Sending big hugs your way, and I hope you have lots of easy, good things coming very soon.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
There are folks that get it and those that don't.
My nephews new wife doesn't drink. She says...i am not much of a drinker.
I like that one.
I would be lieing if I said I don't still crave the buzz. But, the benefits of being a born again non drinker are way too amazing.
Folks that never drank have no clue. Active addicts, everyone on the planet that drinks a little bit to a lot, are blinded.
It has taken these 50 plus months of suffering and rebirth to show me the truth.
Yay!
There are so many sick folks out there. Most will likely at best lose years off the tail end of their life. Others will suffer booze related illnesses until they pass even sooner.
The world according to D122y.
Thanks.
My nephews new wife doesn't drink. She says...i am not much of a drinker.
I like that one.
I would be lieing if I said I don't still crave the buzz. But, the benefits of being a born again non drinker are way too amazing.
Folks that never drank have no clue. Active addicts, everyone on the planet that drinks a little bit to a lot, are blinded.
It has taken these 50 plus months of suffering and rebirth to show me the truth.
Yay!
There are so many sick folks out there. Most will likely at best lose years off the tail end of their life. Others will suffer booze related illnesses until they pass even sooner.
The world according to D122y.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
when I think back of my active drinking days, I worked very hard to make it work. I look back and realize how crazy it was. I also think that is why early in sobriety we feel bored. Its because we so busy getting our drinking in. For me, the boredom eventually evolved into a calmness and some serenity.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Congrats 10 months- that is just awesome
I don’t want to drink, but I’d be lying if I hadn’t thought recently how nice it would be to numb some of the pain I was feeling about some recent hurts.
Me too- the hurts and wave of emotions I feel. But waking up hungover/sick/shaky/sweaty/nauseous the HURTS are magnified for me.
I am looking for a job- I hate interviewing over the phone- I actually hear my alcoholic voice saying - a couple of drinks to loosen up- false courage and confidence and back to being unemployable. That is all Alcohol is going to do for me.
I don’t want to drink, but I’d be lying if I hadn’t thought recently how nice it would be to numb some of the pain I was feeling about some recent hurts.
Me too- the hurts and wave of emotions I feel. But waking up hungover/sick/shaky/sweaty/nauseous the HURTS are magnified for me.
I am looking for a job- I hate interviewing over the phone- I actually hear my alcoholic voice saying - a couple of drinks to loosen up- false courage and confidence and back to being unemployable. That is all Alcohol is going to do for me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,406
Originally Posted by Callas 
I feel exactly like you now almost 9 months sober. It is hard work. I miss out on a lot of things I used to enjoy. However, the choice is mine and I stick to this road. The other one came to an end.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Originally Posted by brighterday1234
Life on life’s terms; a really important lesson I learned in early recovery and a big part of acceptance and letting go.
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
You can't have healing without the pain. Healing brings relief. It's not fast, but it comes eventually. Numbing the pain just delays the healing and moving through the problems/issues/memories, whatever the root cause is.
Then comes the peace, there isn't a drink or drug that can match it.
Then comes the peace, there isn't a drink or drug that can match it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 741
Sober may be the hard way. It's easy to just take a drink but even for people who are not alcoholic taking the easy way just leads to more problems.
Life's regular problems are so much easier to handle sober.
I've had a rough day due to stuff totally out of my control. I was calm and even laughed about it. Then at the end of the day I found out the issue was not resolved, there was more! I was so upset. Even if not drunk at the moment, while actively using I may have had a meltdown right there. Maybe even destroyed things in a fit of rage, before even being drunk! I may not have handled things appropriately and thats how problems snowball.
Sometimes just saying in my head the serenity prayer: this time I got to accept the things I cannot change and I'm like oh, that's right, this is something I can not change. It's not really that bad, a normal person would be shocked that I could get this upset about it. Why dont I just do what I need to and let things play out.
Life's regular problems are so much easier to handle sober.
I've had a rough day due to stuff totally out of my control. I was calm and even laughed about it. Then at the end of the day I found out the issue was not resolved, there was more! I was so upset. Even if not drunk at the moment, while actively using I may have had a meltdown right there. Maybe even destroyed things in a fit of rage, before even being drunk! I may not have handled things appropriately and thats how problems snowball.
Sometimes just saying in my head the serenity prayer: this time I got to accept the things I cannot change and I'm like oh, that's right, this is something I can not change. It's not really that bad, a normal person would be shocked that I could get this upset about it. Why dont I just do what I need to and let things play out.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,756
Living sober was hard for me too, until I started practicing gratitude every day. It made a hell of a difference in my life, made me happier, and it made 'being grateful' a normal part of my daily life. 
Give it a try, if you haven't already.
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
Give it a try, if you haven't already. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,382
Drunk life is way harder. Nobody gets out of here alive; why not use the precious limited time we've got for something good.
Feeling like a nervous scared kid again is a great sign I'd say! Good going on your 10 months, KeepingUp.
Feeling like a nervous scared kid again is a great sign I'd say! Good going on your 10 months, KeepingUp.
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