Tinkerbeau

Well work was ok everyone was fine with me. Went to my counselling session and opened up alot about my past and how the recent let down effected me. Watched a favourite tv show with my son and now off to bed tired achy and still suffering withdrawal but I'm sober and i know as long as I'm that each day things will be ok

labgirl

Hi Tink. Great job on today! You can do this! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

snitch

I am glad to hear that work was ok hon. That's one less worry on your mind. ❤

Tinkerbeau

Day 4 today still not sleeping good and feeling groggy but I'm alive. Very basic plans for today Going to work then going to have another cuddle night on sofa with little one b4 a early sober night

Dee74

Have you thought anymore on maybe checking out AA TB?

D

Tinkerbeau

Yes i had a look and there are lots in my area it's just no one to watch my child as mam is not speaking or wanting anything to do with me. I thought about trying a online one

ThatWasTheOldMe

Try to eat some soup and hang out with us, Tinker.

EDIT: oops - I didnt pay attention to the timestamp of the thread. Sorry.

Tinkerbeau

No eating soup, chicken to be exact, and hanging out here is exactly what i am doing tonight, end of day 4 still light headed and faintish feeling but im going to bed sober, and right now thats all that matters

Delilah1

I’m glad work went okay, I think some meetings may have childcare, it’s worth looking into.

Tinkerbeau

Thanks Delilah. I didn't know that i will look into it.

Tinkerbeau

Day 5, i actually slept last night still woke up in a pool of sweat but it was good deep sleep. Starting to feel abit more human. Making plans for weekend, tonight just tea, tv with little one and early night then saturday get little ones hair cut, get car washed, and make a start sorting/decorating little one's room, before movie with little one. Sunday i will plan on saturday.But one thing I'm sure of i will be staying sober

Dee74

well done on day 5 tink

D

snitch

Sounds like a good weekend. I am glad you are starting to feel better. I found it took me longer and longer to recover from each binge. My last drunk, it was about 10 days until I felt "normal", however I was abusing xanax also. Also you and I are the same with regards to both single mummies. We cant put our kids in a cupboard until we feel ok again. There were days when I wanted to just hide from the world but I couldn't, I had to get out, take and pick my daughter up from school, feed her, bath her, all whilst feeling like uttter death. One of the biggest gifts of sobriety is never having to go through that again, I don't suffer and my daughter doesn't suffer.

What will you do though when you are feeling better and you get the urge to drink again? Because if you are alcoholic and it sounds like you are, that urge WILL come. Fear and remorse do not keep us sober for long. Counselling may help you to deal with past issues you have so that is great but unless you are dealing with an addiction therapist it is unlikely that counselling will be treat your alcoholism hon and the day will come when you will want to drink again . It is vital to have a recovery plan in my own experience.

Tinkerbeau

Yeah i think 10 days is about when i will feel normal ish again. Your right i do need soild recovery plan just been too ill to make a long term one yet so be going day by day. I have read the how to make a recovery plan on here so will do that and get one wrote up, i also have a new journal i am going to start to keep daily, as well as checking in here twice a day, at least. Hopefully i can add more as the days pass. I am so committed to never ever drinking though.
End of day 5, I feel lonely and sad and wish things had worked out with the person who got back in touch with me, and took me out, i wish he had been kinder and not hurt me. I wish i hadn't liked him or hoped for a future together, all silly i know.
But i am going to bed sober so that is all that matters right now.

Tinkerbeau

Day 6 about to do some shopping then sort my sons room followed by movie night, a sober saturday

nightshade131

Nice one Tinker, what film are you going to watch?

Tinkerbeau

Didn't watch film in end but a show on in ukat moment, I'm a celebrity?, my little one loves it so we've been watching it catch up

snitch

Sounds like a nice Saturday.

How are you feeling now? X

snitch

It isn't silly to feel this way. You are human and it sounds like you are a very sensitive human as well. Me too. This other person is human too and humans are capable of letting other humans down.

People arent always goimg to act the way we want them to act or to be like we wish they would be and we have zero power over others behaviours and actions. In recovery though we can learn how to deal with our own emotions and our own reactions.


Please try to be patient. I know as alcoholics we want everything to happen immediately but time takes time. concentrate solely on your sobriety and recovery for the near future and everything else will come later.

Xxx

Tinkerbeau

Thank you. I'm feeling ok, had a nice day with my son just spending time together and getting stuff done, feeling abit stronger, going to sleep happily sober and looking forward to day 7