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Building up to stopping again So still drinking. I’ve agreed with my boyfriend to stop again tomorrow, whilst still on holiday. I know i can do it. If I can do 100 days I can do 1 lol. Probably not the place, but this is my safe space. I don’t know what to do with my partner. He hates me drinking (for good reason) and so I will stop. Our life at home is: - his anxiety - me making 3 meals a day - i go to the gym. He moans we dont get to see each other. - when actually together, i work on my business (card making) and he works on PS4 games lol. - he would rather we were both lazy, i think. But when i’m sober i have so much drive. - not sure if this is allowed, but he’s not into ‘alone time’. He just wants to kiss and hug But i love him. He forgives all my past mistakes and forgets them. He has issues he’s working on: anxiety, social anxiety and dealing with memories of his cheating ex. He has an assessment on Thursday to see if he qualifies for counselling. I’m sure he will. Guessing the right thing to do is for me to see if that helps? |
Originally Posted by Al34
(Post 7311542)
So still drinking. I’ve agreed with my boyfriend to stop again tomorrow, whilst still on holiday. I know i can do it. If I can do 100 days I can do 1 lol. |
You sound like your interest is gone and are going through the motions. It sounds like you are describing a needy beta male. Maybe you are comfortable in the "relationship" as you know that he demands nothing from you and forgives your "issues" and your "flaws". A higher value man wouldn't. But that would require huge change and effort.. |
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
(Post 7311544)
Not sure it's a LOL matter. If you can do one day, then make it today. You don't know what another day of drinking will bring. |
Obviously whilst on holiday you both are in a relaxed state, how you fix the problems at home is another thing altogether. Anyway with regards to stopping drinking the Gif below kind of sums it up! Good luck https://media.giphy.com/media/gJisOh...1DSL/giphy.gif |
My intent is not sarcasm. I see countless posts from those who fall back to drinking and can't get out of the downward spiral. Don't want to see that happen to you. And putting it off, quitting that it, just keeps you close to the edge. |
I am no relationship expert so can't really offer much advice there I am afraid. What I will say though is concentrate on your sobriety first and foremost. Once you have some good, solid sober time behind you then it may be clearer what you actually want from a relationship and if this relationship is serving you. Sobriety can make or break relationships but the most important thing is to work on not drinking and your own recovery. ❤🙏🙏❤ |
Originally Posted by Al34
(Post 7311552)
Not sure the sarcasm helps Today would be the day to quit. |
I have had many dysfunctional relationships when younger with people who drank too much had anxiety issues and had a whole host of other problems. But I thought they were wonderful as they put up with me, enabled me and it was better than being alone ? Now in my 40s I realise that was a load of nonsense. I had little self respect strength or dignity. Relationships should not be difficult. Of course there are difficult times but it should not be a constant battle or worry or trade off for affection or feeling grateful for x as you did y. Sometimes we just need to be alone to gain strength refain our equilibrium get sober or just get to know ourselves again. Only then are we ready to share our lives with someone. |
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