How many times did you relapse before you got it "right"?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
The last time I got drunk was around 2 weeks ago, before that it was October of 2015. I had 4 years and intentionally drank. I'm back on track and feel much better about things.
But to answer your question, I honestly wanted to quit for 2 years before I actually did. Tried and tried and tried. Finally got it, and it was not easy early on.
But to answer your question, I honestly wanted to quit for 2 years before I actually did. Tried and tried and tried. Finally got it, and it was not easy early on.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
I'm with Carl on this. Quitting was a choice i had to make, no one could do it for me. You will quit for good when you want to do it bad enough. Certainly there are things you can do to help you in following through on your decision to quit - like recovery groups/programs/plans, or rehabs/detox. But none of them in themselves will "make" you quit.
I certainly waffled between short periods of quitting for years, decades really. But looking back I framed those as basically taking some time off and never fully intended to quit for good. Taking a break, cutting back, basically the old moderation pipe dream. Over and over.
So this time was different, and mainly because of the choices I made. I accepted that drinking even one sip of alcohol will never be an option for me if I don't want to face the consequences - which were becoming more and more severe. And one I made that choice, I had to form a plan to help me follow through on it. You can do the same - you have everything you need to do it in your possession right now.
I certainly waffled between short periods of quitting for years, decades really. But looking back I framed those as basically taking some time off and never fully intended to quit for good. Taking a break, cutting back, basically the old moderation pipe dream. Over and over.
So this time was different, and mainly because of the choices I made. I accepted that drinking even one sip of alcohol will never be an option for me if I don't want to face the consequences - which were becoming more and more severe. And one I made that choice, I had to form a plan to help me follow through on it. You can do the same - you have everything you need to do it in your possession right now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
I must have tried to quit a thousand times before I finally did it. I joined here back in 2012, but life got screwy and I used that as an excuse to stop trying until I came back about a year ago.
I guess I was starting to feel a little scared about where I was going to end up if I carried on down the same path. I had progressed to drinking most of the day, usually starting after lunch, and hiding it from everyone.
So I came here and started posting. Screwed up a few times, but finally got some momentum and kept going. I’ve been sober since January.
I guess I was starting to feel a little scared about where I was going to end up if I carried on down the same path. I had progressed to drinking most of the day, usually starting after lunch, and hiding it from everyone.
So I came here and started posting. Screwed up a few times, but finally got some momentum and kept going. I’ve been sober since January.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 327
I didn’t bother saying I wasn’t going to drink today it didn’t matter I would end up buzzed or drunk that day. I finally surrendered the game was over , I didn’t want it to be over but it was . I was beaten that was in Nov 2017 . Haven’t had a drink since.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
What would be the difference between time between drinks and a relapse. I stopped plenty of times due to external factors. Too sick, no money, pressure from a friend etc., but that was just biding my time till the next opportunity to drink. I wasn't tackling the real problem, wasn't recovering, and so therefore had no position from which to relapse.
When I finally began to see the problem and seek a solution,I had a spell of near six months sober, followed by two relapses, one of about a year and the final one of four days. Then the solution took effect and the problem was removed.
When I finally began to see the problem and seek a solution,I had a spell of near six months sober, followed by two relapses, one of about a year and the final one of four days. Then the solution took effect and the problem was removed.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I guess that depends on your definition of relapse. I define a relapse as a decision to drink, after having made a decision to never drink again and after having taken real action to begin recovery.
I made lots (hundreds?) of promises to myself that I wouldn't drink again - usually those promises were made in the mornings after binges, while I was feeling the effects of a hangover or feeling shame from something I had done or said while drunk. But those promises were never followed up with any sort of action. By the end of the day, or maybe I'd go a couple of days, I'd be back at it barely remembering I had promised myself not to. I don't consider those relapses.
I have not relapsed since I had a moment of clarity almost 5 years ago, while being arrested for my second DUI in less than two years. While I was sitting in the police station waiting for my sober ride home, it hit me like a bolt from the blue that I was DONE. I had used up all of my free passes from the universe, all my second chances. I was damn lucky to be alive, and in that moment, I knew it. I went home that night, called a sober friend, and poured out my soul to him and begged for help. I admitted to myself, finally, that I was not, and never would be, a person who can drink normally - in fact, I am a person with no off-switch, and by then, no idea who I was anymore.
I surrendered. I admitted I could not control my drinking. I accepted fully, down to the bottom of my being, that I was not going to ever safely drink again, and that I was not willing to take the risk anymore.
Simple, but not easy. That was the beginning of recovery, which has been a lot of work since then, every bit of it completely worth it. Painful at times, digging around in the dirt to figure out who I was, who hurt me, who I had hurt. Still a work in progress. But I'll keep going, because life is so much better on this side.
I made lots (hundreds?) of promises to myself that I wouldn't drink again - usually those promises were made in the mornings after binges, while I was feeling the effects of a hangover or feeling shame from something I had done or said while drunk. But those promises were never followed up with any sort of action. By the end of the day, or maybe I'd go a couple of days, I'd be back at it barely remembering I had promised myself not to. I don't consider those relapses.
I have not relapsed since I had a moment of clarity almost 5 years ago, while being arrested for my second DUI in less than two years. While I was sitting in the police station waiting for my sober ride home, it hit me like a bolt from the blue that I was DONE. I had used up all of my free passes from the universe, all my second chances. I was damn lucky to be alive, and in that moment, I knew it. I went home that night, called a sober friend, and poured out my soul to him and begged for help. I admitted to myself, finally, that I was not, and never would be, a person who can drink normally - in fact, I am a person with no off-switch, and by then, no idea who I was anymore.
I surrendered. I admitted I could not control my drinking. I accepted fully, down to the bottom of my being, that I was not going to ever safely drink again, and that I was not willing to take the risk anymore.
Simple, but not easy. That was the beginning of recovery, which has been a lot of work since then, every bit of it completely worth it. Painful at times, digging around in the dirt to figure out who I was, who hurt me, who I had hurt. Still a work in progress. But I'll keep going, because life is so much better on this side.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
That remains to be seen.
My longest period of sobriety was four years and two months, and then I relapsed, so...
I don't think I'll be comfortable saying for sure that I've gotten it right until I get to at least five years, maybe not even then.
All I can do is stay sober today.
My longest period of sobriety was four years and two months, and then I relapsed, so...
I don't think I'll be comfortable saying for sure that I've gotten it right until I get to at least five years, maybe not even then.
All I can do is stay sober today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
I never relapsed. There were countless mornings I woke up telling myself I need to drink less. I would drink less for a week to a month then get blackout drunk again. I repeated this cycle for 15 years. Then one day I woke up and said I need to not drink at all. Since then I have not had a sip of alcohol
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
Thanks for the great thread. This was excellent reading for me this morning!
I had to get to the point that there was clearly no good in drinking for me anymore, and then build a recovery plan and stick to it. I relapsed most of my adult life until now. I always wanted to be sober, but I wanted to drink, too. I have had lots of sober periods, but more drinking time by far.
What's different now is that the alcohol started making me very sick. A relapse became a nightmare of sickness, fear, self-loathing and thinking I may die.
I wish I had been able to stay sober before it got so bad. I think a lot of people do. But, for me, as long as there was a little part of me that thought I could 'get away' with drinking 'this once', I continued to relapse. I think of alcohol as poison now. I still have cravings sometimes, but they are foes to be slain, part of the price I pay for getting sober. They're just a symptom of my alcoholism. One that I hope goes away completely. I'm on about day 85, but I know I'm done with alcohol.
I had to get to the point that there was clearly no good in drinking for me anymore, and then build a recovery plan and stick to it. I relapsed most of my adult life until now. I always wanted to be sober, but I wanted to drink, too. I have had lots of sober periods, but more drinking time by far.
What's different now is that the alcohol started making me very sick. A relapse became a nightmare of sickness, fear, self-loathing and thinking I may die.
I wish I had been able to stay sober before it got so bad. I think a lot of people do. But, for me, as long as there was a little part of me that thought I could 'get away' with drinking 'this once', I continued to relapse. I think of alcohol as poison now. I still have cravings sometimes, but they are foes to be slain, part of the price I pay for getting sober. They're just a symptom of my alcoholism. One that I hope goes away completely. I'm on about day 85, but I know I'm done with alcohol.
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