New here, just saying hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 2
New here, just saying hello
Hey all. I'm having a hard time putting all of this into good words for reading, so forgive any blunt choices of word, or any confusing statements.
I'll start by saying, I'm glad this medium exists, and I'll thank you all in advance for any guidance or advice you've to offer. I've been struggling with abuse of the bottle for almost 10 years now. I've tried relentlessly to track its source, to no avail. I've got a few good leads, but none seem to ever hit the nail on the head per sei. I know when or around when it started, and I can detail it's unraveling, but the source of its initiation is the cause of my strife. I've been to a Psychologist in the past and uncovered more from the depths of my mind, but that didn't help me as much as I needed. I've considered AA meetings, but I can't find any that meet my schedule, are in my area or are unaffiliated with any religion. I'm not religious in the usual train of thought, so I would seek a secular method of recovery. Thus is the best representation of my current situation.
Currently, in my state of alcoholism, I drink every day, sometimes blackout at the end of the night, waking up on the couch or in my chair at my computer, and often forgetting small or large details of what happened the night before upon waking. I've begun to ignore simple household duties in favor of hiding myself away from my wife to drink in relative comfort. My wife and I have had multiple discussions concerning my habits and every time we collectively conclude a solution, it lasts maybe a week or so and then is discarded. She's well aware of most of my thoughts, not all. She's been educating herself on methods of coping with an alcoholic husband. Her support is waning, but I understand why.
That's the short side of the story.
I need to do something for myself, but I'm not quite sure what the next step is. I tend to defeat myself with purpose. I'm just unaware of the purpose itself.
Many thanks, I know that was a long and winded hello.
I'll start by saying, I'm glad this medium exists, and I'll thank you all in advance for any guidance or advice you've to offer. I've been struggling with abuse of the bottle for almost 10 years now. I've tried relentlessly to track its source, to no avail. I've got a few good leads, but none seem to ever hit the nail on the head per sei. I know when or around when it started, and I can detail it's unraveling, but the source of its initiation is the cause of my strife. I've been to a Psychologist in the past and uncovered more from the depths of my mind, but that didn't help me as much as I needed. I've considered AA meetings, but I can't find any that meet my schedule, are in my area or are unaffiliated with any religion. I'm not religious in the usual train of thought, so I would seek a secular method of recovery. Thus is the best representation of my current situation.
Currently, in my state of alcoholism, I drink every day, sometimes blackout at the end of the night, waking up on the couch or in my chair at my computer, and often forgetting small or large details of what happened the night before upon waking. I've begun to ignore simple household duties in favor of hiding myself away from my wife to drink in relative comfort. My wife and I have had multiple discussions concerning my habits and every time we collectively conclude a solution, it lasts maybe a week or so and then is discarded. She's well aware of most of my thoughts, not all. She's been educating herself on methods of coping with an alcoholic husband. Her support is waning, but I understand why.
That's the short side of the story.
I need to do something for myself, but I'm not quite sure what the next step is. I tend to defeat myself with purpose. I'm just unaware of the purpose itself.
Many thanks, I know that was a long and winded hello.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,849
Welcome to SR MrBeloved!
Smart Recovery has online meetings and is not religious at all. I really enjoy them and the tools that they teach, so I would totally check it out if I where you.
You will find tons of support here on SR!
Smart Recovery has online meetings and is not religious at all. I really enjoy them and the tools that they teach, so I would totally check it out if I where you.
You will find tons of support here on SR!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 38
Welcome, mr beloved, and thanks for sharing about yourself. This site is amazing and you can learn so much by reading the threads as well. I lurked for many years until I finally got the courage to sign up and start posting recently.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Welcome!
There are many methods and roads to recovery and the important thing is that you find something that works for you. If you take a look around here, you will see lots of ideas.
You're right in that you do need to do something for yourself. Your motivation is the key to acceptance and recovery. Obviously stopping drinking is the first step. Then, I had to make lifestyle changes to support my recovery. I had to remove some people from my life who were quite toxic. I began a daily exercise program and got back to hobbies that I used to enjoy. Volunteer work helped enormously in getting me outside of my head. Try to find what will work for you.
There are many methods and roads to recovery and the important thing is that you find something that works for you. If you take a look around here, you will see lots of ideas.
You're right in that you do need to do something for yourself. Your motivation is the key to acceptance and recovery. Obviously stopping drinking is the first step. Then, I had to make lifestyle changes to support my recovery. I had to remove some people from my life who were quite toxic. I began a daily exercise program and got back to hobbies that I used to enjoy. Volunteer work helped enormously in getting me outside of my head. Try to find what will work for you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,428
I'm not quite sure what the next step is.
You'll find a lot of encouragement, advice and understanding here
Read around, ask as many questions as you like - find a way to stay sober that makes sense to you and go for it.
I've heard good things about SMART - and don't be afraid to check a little further into AA where the meeting time might suit - our band used to practice in a church basement but we were not Christian rock - it was just an available space
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Mr.B, welcome.
i found uncovering the source of my condition was in the end not the important thing.
the important thing was to take that energy and put it into implementing a way out.
i started with daily connecting online with Lifering Secular Recovery and attending the one weekly in-person meeting available at that time.
it was all just what i needed at the beginning.
i found uncovering the source of my condition was in the end not the important thing.
the important thing was to take that energy and put it into implementing a way out.
i started with daily connecting online with Lifering Secular Recovery and attending the one weekly in-person meeting available at that time.
it was all just what i needed at the beginning.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
Welcome to SR!
I've been struggling with abuse of the bottle for almost 10 years now. I've tried relentlessly to track its source, to no avail. I've got a few good leads, but none seem to ever hit the nail on the head per sei.
I spent years trying to "think" my way through my alcohol addiction and how to master it. I'm a pretty smart guy and figured I could do this.
Then I had an "ah-ha" moment. I realized that in my solitary intellectual pursuit I was trying to get sober, by taking the advice of a drunk who couldn't get sober.
That drunk was me.
Giving up and going to AA, along with joining this website were critical to me getting sober. I couldn't do it by myself.
I've been struggling with abuse of the bottle for almost 10 years now. I've tried relentlessly to track its source, to no avail. I've got a few good leads, but none seem to ever hit the nail on the head per sei.
I spent years trying to "think" my way through my alcohol addiction and how to master it. I'm a pretty smart guy and figured I could do this.
Then I had an "ah-ha" moment. I realized that in my solitary intellectual pursuit I was trying to get sober, by taking the advice of a drunk who couldn't get sober.
That drunk was me.
Giving up and going to AA, along with joining this website were critical to me getting sober. I couldn't do it by myself.
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