Class of November 2019 Part 2
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,446
Originally Posted by Mistyscorpio 
Happy Saturday, folks! I am on day 11. And I happened to have a paper and pen nearby this time so that I could organize my reply to acknowledge the earlier posts 
Welcome willow and peanut!
taplow, make the best of it in London and congrats on d28!
pelagic, happy that you’re joining the group- in just the short time I am sober I find myself getting out of the procrastination phase and into taking action.
joy- congrats on d27 and enjoy the rest of your time in San Diego!
citrus- thank you for the insight! I can only imagine what life was like having 4 kids, as I can barely make it work with one!! But you’re doing it well!!
auchie, I’ve been in the same place, rationalizing that it makes total sense to finish up the alcohol so then there’s a clean slate- however, almost always, the next day would be spent rationalizing how I needed to taper because I drank too much the night before and it would just continue the cycle.
Soberbythesea- I love your screen name! Congrats on 13d and rooting for you to make it to two weeks, even if the wine is flowing at your bf family dinner!
Another excuse, I’m happy to hear that it’s getting better. On day 9 I had a horrid headache, which I contributed to caffeine withdrawal from the many cups of coffee I drank the night before, but I wonder if it was really alcohol withdrawal because yesterday on day 10, I was shaky all day with strong urges to drink at night that eventually passed. I woke up today sober and my eyes/face seem a bit brighter, a little less puffy.
Sorry to hear about the family issues, venuscat/suz- between the posts about the rescue remedy, allergic shock after your move and your suz name i went back through threads and realized that I pretty much followed your story daily (as a lurker) when you were making the big move to America and rooting for you and nick 😊
Welcome willow and peanut!
taplow, make the best of it in London and congrats on d28!
pelagic, happy that you’re joining the group- in just the short time I am sober I find myself getting out of the procrastination phase and into taking action.
joy- congrats on d27 and enjoy the rest of your time in San Diego!
citrus- thank you for the insight! I can only imagine what life was like having 4 kids, as I can barely make it work with one!! But you’re doing it well!!
auchie, I’ve been in the same place, rationalizing that it makes total sense to finish up the alcohol so then there’s a clean slate- however, almost always, the next day would be spent rationalizing how I needed to taper because I drank too much the night before and it would just continue the cycle.
Soberbythesea- I love your screen name! Congrats on 13d and rooting for you to make it to two weeks, even if the wine is flowing at your bf family dinner!
Another excuse, I’m happy to hear that it’s getting better. On day 9 I had a horrid headache, which I contributed to caffeine withdrawal from the many cups of coffee I drank the night before, but I wonder if it was really alcohol withdrawal because yesterday on day 10, I was shaky all day with strong urges to drink at night that eventually passed. I woke up today sober and my eyes/face seem a bit brighter, a little less puffy.
Sorry to hear about the family issues, venuscat/suz- between the posts about the rescue remedy, allergic shock after your move and your suz name i went back through threads and realized that I pretty much followed your story daily (as a lurker) when you were making the big move to America and rooting for you and nick 😊
And thank you lovely one....it feels like such a long time ago now, but in actual fact we have been married just over 2 years.
I still have a long way to go to get back to fit and healthy and fully productive work-wise, but I can honestly say that I am very happy. And Nick is living the life he always wanted....right now has gone off to play/practice with his band. Life is good.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
Day 5.
Having the most difficult time waking in the morning.
Severe stomach wrenching pain and runs in the middle of the night the last 2 nights.
Feeling extremely lonely, as usual.
Making myself get up and out - somehow
Having the most difficult time waking in the morning.
Severe stomach wrenching pain and runs in the middle of the night the last 2 nights.
Feeling extremely lonely, as usual.
Making myself get up and out - somehow
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,446
Love you LuLu honey. 
s
And here with you all day. xx
Worried about the tummy pain though.
I drink plain hot water when I have tummy pain....in fact I used to drink it every night and I have been forgetting. But if it persists, maybe you could call your doctor love? s ❤️❤️❤️
sAnd here with you all day.
xxWorried about the tummy pain though.
I drink plain hot water when I have tummy pain....in fact I used to drink it every night and I have been forgetting. But if it persists, maybe you could call your doctor love?
s ❤️❤️❤️
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Madrid, Spain.
Posts: 172
Originally Posted by soberbythesea
Yep... same here.
I was in the "just a couple this time won't hurt" mindset off and on for several months prior to putting together these two weeks. Dee told me this in another thread:
"yeah the worst thing is when nothing happens. It wakes up that spark that maybe there's a normal drinker in us somewhere.
We forget all the other times when disastrous things did happen.
I think too - we forget that there are changes occurring every time we drink - we may not be aware of them tho.
Neural pathways being re written, dependency being established, the dangers of worse and worse withdrawal through kindling...
there's no such thing as a free lunch with addiction."
It really stuck with me.
You sound really positive today
I was in the "just a couple this time won't hurt" mindset off and on for several months prior to putting together these two weeks. Dee told me this in another thread:
"yeah the worst thing is when nothing happens. It wakes up that spark that maybe there's a normal drinker in us somewhere.
We forget all the other times when disastrous things did happen.
I think too - we forget that there are changes occurring every time we drink - we may not be aware of them tho.
Neural pathways being re written, dependency being established, the dangers of worse and worse withdrawal through kindling...
there's no such thing as a free lunch with addiction."
It really stuck with me.
You sound really positive today
Today's been a nice day. I went to the archaeological museum and then to the national library. Then a couple of drinks with a friend and then lunch with another friend.
I'm now warming up at home before heading out again to the theatre. I love Saturdays, especially with a clear head!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,848
Ok, all caught up on the posts! My you guys have been busy.
Glad you all found the non alcohol versions of Recue Remedy! My kids even use it from time to time.
Welcome Peanut and Pelagic! And anyone else I may have missed.
Hubby and I undertook getting rid of all of the beer cans we collected in our shed. That was embarrassing. We seriously got almost $60 dollars recycling them. And we both looked at each other and said never again. I uncovered an unopened beer and asked him if he wanted me to put it in the fridge for him and he said nope. I think he has enjoyed being sober as well. I think it has probably been almost 2 weeks for him as well.
I think I am going to do some baking to fill my time for a few hours. I'll check back in this afternoon.
Glad you all found the non alcohol versions of Recue Remedy! My kids even use it from time to time.
Welcome Peanut and Pelagic! And anyone else I may have missed.
Hubby and I undertook getting rid of all of the beer cans we collected in our shed. That was embarrassing. We seriously got almost $60 dollars recycling them. And we both looked at each other and said never again. I uncovered an unopened beer and asked him if he wanted me to put it in the fridge for him and he said nope. I think he has enjoyed being sober as well. I think it has probably been almost 2 weeks for him as well.
I think I am going to do some baking to fill my time for a few hours. I'll check back in this afternoon.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,446
How lovely RAL. s
OK....so here is what happened. My oldest nephew got married today/yesterday....my sister knew I wasn't coming, and it was all fine until she reminded me that I needed to RSVP. OK....so they have a joint name thing (groan) email and I rsvp'd. It was a nice email. Then I looked at their gift registry.....they had set up a honeymoon registry....they are going around the world for 28 days and wanted to be funded as wedding gifts.
I nearly lost my mind....I looked it up and saw that many people do this now.
But but but they are 30 and 33 years of age, have been working for years in very good jobs and my nephew is the son of multi-millionaires. And he will be a millionaire in a few years via his dad's dad. And they asked for money....
I cannot tell you how upset I am about this. My parents would have dropped dead from the shock if they were still alive. How could my sister let him do this?
So I messaged and said I wanted to get them an actual gift instead.
No reply.
And no one has spoken to me since. Um seriously?
I would love your take on this....I am sad and hurt and wondering who the heck these people are. Oh....I messaged again yesterday....both my nephew and sister....no answers.
I obviously broke some rule that I don't understand.
s OK....so here is what happened. My oldest nephew got married today/yesterday....my sister knew I wasn't coming, and it was all fine until she reminded me that I needed to RSVP. OK....so they have a joint name thing (groan) email and I rsvp'd. It was a nice email. Then I looked at their gift registry.....they had set up a honeymoon registry....they are going around the world for 28 days and wanted to be funded as wedding gifts.
I nearly lost my mind....I looked it up and saw that many people do this now.
But but but they are 30 and 33 years of age, have been working for years in very good jobs and my nephew is the son of multi-millionaires. And he will be a millionaire in a few years via his dad's dad. And they asked for money....
I cannot tell you how upset I am about this. My parents would have dropped dead from the shock if they were still alive. How could my sister let him do this?
So I messaged and said I wanted to get them an actual gift instead.
No reply.
And no one has spoken to me since. Um seriously?
I would love your take on this....I am sad and hurt and wondering who the heck these people are. Oh....I messaged again yesterday....both my nephew and sister....no answers.
I obviously broke some rule that I don't understand.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,848
I'm baking banana bread.... well actually it just got done. Found that I've somehow run out of sugar! So that put an end to that until I make it to the store. Watching then Fox and the Hound now and spinning up some yarn.
Suze I think your request is totally reasonable! And they are being super rude by not responding! The amount of people asking for money outright these days is astonishing! I just saw a post of a friend of my daughter saying that they are having a Birthday party for their one year old and that they don't have money for food for the party ($10 to their name... why did they keep the baby if they can't provide for him first off) so what is everyone making to bring? This probably wouldn't have set me off so much if they just said hey we are having a potluck we would love it if you would bring a dish. Simple as that. I dont know maybe I am being harsh.
Sorry didn't mean to go off on that tangent. But we had kids very young as well and made sure we could provide for them.
Suze I think your request is totally reasonable! And they are being super rude by not responding! The amount of people asking for money outright these days is astonishing! I just saw a post of a friend of my daughter saying that they are having a Birthday party for their one year old and that they don't have money for food for the party ($10 to their name... why did they keep the baby if they can't provide for him first off) so what is everyone making to bring? This probably wouldn't have set me off so much if they just said hey we are having a potluck we would love it if you would bring a dish. Simple as that. I dont know maybe I am being harsh.
Sorry didn't mean to go off on that tangent. But we had kids very young as well and made sure we could provide for them.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
I'm afraid to go out and do stuff. I've been sitting here all clothed in layers debating. I want to finally take a drive downtown to a vegan restaurant.
Too many "GoFundMe' for stuff. Wedding asking for money seems a tad weird....just my own personal opinion. Unless your family is super rich, I guess it's ok to ask Big Daddy for a few thousand bucks....or twenty thousand if he's loaded.
Too many "GoFundMe' for stuff. Wedding asking for money seems a tad weird....just my own personal opinion. Unless your family is super rich, I guess it's ok to ask Big Daddy for a few thousand bucks....or twenty thousand if he's loaded.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,848
I think going to a resturant sounds great Lulu. I would just have it in my head that there would be no stops for booze. Just going to enjoy food and get some fresh air. But I would probably stay home if I was really fixated on buying beer while out.
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Oh venus I feel your pain. I also think that is really cheeky asking for money . Even worse is to ignore you when you email regarding it. Weddings seem less of a commitment of 2 people and just an excuse to get money from relatives and friends. Terribly sad imo.maybe it is an age thing. I do not know. All I know is that I do not enter into such things nor let them bother me. Breathe and move on my friend xx
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Join Date: Nov 2019
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Venuscat/suz- in reply to your post earlier:
“But but but they are 30 and 33 years of age, have been working for years in very good jobs and my nephew is the son of multi-millionaires. And he will be a millionaire in a few years via his dad's dad. And they asked for money....”
I can see where you are coming from because it’s been a topic that’s come up over the past decade in my circle of friends and family. In my personal opinion I don’t think it’s a matter of asking for money- I have many friends who were in their mid-30s or early 40s when they got married, dated significant other for a long time and have acquired a lot of stuff between the two of them, and even more so if they lived together, and they just don’t want more material gifts. And others who don’t want a fine China set or any of the “traditional” gifts that tend to be considered for weddings. People want to give gifts naturally and so i think it’s a way to direct their friends and family towards giving into what they would appreciate, which may be experiences over material items. Ive has friends who are financially secure ask for no gifts, but if someone feels like it, to make a donation towards a charity. I also just rsvpd to a bridal shower this week with one of those honeymoon funds and I just donated, and another wedding I got to contribute towards a hot air balloon ride for a honeymoon adventure last year- it’s the new norm 😊
but, having said that, I think that it’s meant for the majority of guests who would just pick a gift off a registry based on the $$ they wanted to spend, as opposed to someone who really wanted to give something personal- if it was my niece, i would want to give them a personalized gift of some sort- but it would likely be a year later because I’m always falling behind with gift giving when it comes to personalizing them (quality takes time!). I’m wondering that since your sister recently asked for your rsvp, maybe she forgot you weren’t coming or hurt that you aren’t attending, or whatever it is, something that should be resolved with a conversation with her (in my experience, text messages don’t work well for these types of talks).
“But but but they are 30 and 33 years of age, have been working for years in very good jobs and my nephew is the son of multi-millionaires. And he will be a millionaire in a few years via his dad's dad. And they asked for money....”
I can see where you are coming from because it’s been a topic that’s come up over the past decade in my circle of friends and family. In my personal opinion I don’t think it’s a matter of asking for money- I have many friends who were in their mid-30s or early 40s when they got married, dated significant other for a long time and have acquired a lot of stuff between the two of them, and even more so if they lived together, and they just don’t want more material gifts. And others who don’t want a fine China set or any of the “traditional” gifts that tend to be considered for weddings. People want to give gifts naturally and so i think it’s a way to direct their friends and family towards giving into what they would appreciate, which may be experiences over material items. Ive has friends who are financially secure ask for no gifts, but if someone feels like it, to make a donation towards a charity. I also just rsvpd to a bridal shower this week with one of those honeymoon funds and I just donated, and another wedding I got to contribute towards a hot air balloon ride for a honeymoon adventure last year- it’s the new norm 😊
but, having said that, I think that it’s meant for the majority of guests who would just pick a gift off a registry based on the $$ they wanted to spend, as opposed to someone who really wanted to give something personal- if it was my niece, i would want to give them a personalized gift of some sort- but it would likely be a year later because I’m always falling behind with gift giving when it comes to personalizing them (quality takes time!). I’m wondering that since your sister recently asked for your rsvp, maybe she forgot you weren’t coming or hurt that you aren’t attending, or whatever it is, something that should be resolved with a conversation with her (in my experience, text messages don’t work well for these types of talks).
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,446
It's a bit of a pandora's box this topic, and I didn't realise.
I guess I just think that if you are already wealthier than 90% of the population you should be grateful and ask for donations to charity at your wedding. Or say no gifts please. And I don't think I should have been ostracised for trying to do it the old fashioned way....I kind of think my FOO are all just very different people from me and I am very blessed to not be in that circus any longer.
s
I guess I just think that if you are already wealthier than 90% of the population you should be grateful and ask for donations to charity at your wedding. Or say no gifts please. And I don't think I should have been ostracised for trying to do it the old fashioned way....I kind of think my FOO are all just very different people from me and I am very blessed to not be in that circus any longer.
s
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