Callas

I have been having a bit of a battle lately. The regime I worked out and stuck to for the first six months of recovery was just not yielding the results any more. I am restless and irritable with a pervasive feeling of futility.

I have tried doing more, doing less, doing things differently, practising gratitude, eating well, staying home, going out. Basically every permutation I could think of. Nothing really worked.

I considered my situation and have decided to go back to basics. One day at a time. I am not going to overthink this and I am not going to search for the ultimate solution. I will let life happen and stay sober one day at a time, even one minute at a time if needs be.

Sometimes one must just go with the flow and stop fighting. This simplifies my mission to one thing only: sobriety. Recovery can come later.

Dee74

Sounds like a sensible idea to me, Callas

Ghostlight1

Yep, sometimes we have to break life down to it's simplest denominator; living.
One day at a time one minute at a time.
I've been sober going on eleven years and I still take it one day at a time. To me, that is recovery. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it it's the way I choose to live.
Works for me. I wish the same thing for you.

Delilah1

That sounds like a great plan to me. What you’re taking about sounds a lot like remaining focused on living in the present moment, and making the next positive choice for you. Mindfulness may be something you want to look into. There are some great apps, and videos online.

Pressmetilihurt

I'm with you. I try everything but the big gisi thing in front of me. The next right step.

brighterday1234

SoberRican

Heard of the kiss system? Means keep it simple stupid. That's what I use. Lol. But like you said back to the basics. Its all good whatever works feel me. ✌

ShiftHappens

I like Keep It Simple Sweetie, but whatever floats your boat

Callas

Keep it straight and simple. Works for most things in life. Will try it with sobriety too.

Epictetus

are you socializing in any way?

Anything fun going on?

Anything for entertainment?

Gym routine stale?

Read anything interesting lately?

August252015

Throwing in some kind of IRL recovery support might be a great boost at this point.

Mistyscorpio

Callas

Epictetus, I do socialise but can’t say I enjoy it much. It takes effort now to tolerate and do small-talk when with booze as you know that is easy. I gym daily, I play golf and bridge once a week, I read a lot. I don’t actually know what I expect to happen. Objectively I live a good life. I am grateful for that. Subjectively I feel edgy, incomplete.

sugarbear1

have you worked the steps? or working on a specific step now?

Callas

I have tried AA. It didn’t take.

Epictetus

I understand, when you were used to socializing with alcohol (and perhaps being in the company of certain people that with a clearer head you would find a strain to be with) it could be an effort or even draining to socialize without the crutch of the social lubricant.

Could you turn that into some sort of social challenge to overcome? Is there are Toastmasters for example near where you live? You'll meet like minded people who wish to develop their social and communication skills (speaking in public) all with no help from a social lubricant.

Do you feel like you are going through the motions with your routine? Golf and bridge wouldn't be my cup of tea! But are you passionate about them? is there anything that you feel passionate about that you feel you could talk about for hours or that simply gets you excited?

Do you read "self-help" or novels as a matter of interest? sometimes the head can be too much in "self help" or "recovery" and the very notion of "self help" can sometimes leave the impression that we are "not enough".........

A good novel on the other hand! Reflects the realities of life more in my opinion and is a great escape!

DriGuy

I actually think you are doing it right, but I can't explain the discontent. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that since you feel this way you are doing something wrong.

You hear a lot of terms like joyous and free thrown around in the forum, so it would be easy to think that sobriety solves everything. But it's not like that. Life is still there. I think your discontent is more likely to be something unrelated to drinking.

Sobriety doesn't solve everything. You still have to do things besides not drink, which I realize you are, and your recovery seems on track, but something else over "there" just out of sight needs adjustment. Maybe it's your perception. Maybe it's something you are not aware of. Don't be too quick to think you are failing at recovery. There's more to life than recovery. Drinking is just one thing that can make you unhappy.

It may be time to take a good look inside. In my late 20s, counseling helped me a lot. Oddly, it was at a time when my drinking was starting to run away and later get out of control. I solved a bunch of personal problems, but not my drinking, which wasn't bothering me at the time, so I didn't even bring it up. It was almost like drinking was the last big issue I had to solve, but it didn't happen for another 30 years.

OK, but the point is how you are feeling right now is probably not related to the issue of alcohol. You've got that under control. I think it's probably something else.