Some big events coming up
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Originally Posted by Finalcall 
Thanks for the link.
I past experiences I have done ok at surviving one day events without drinking. I'm not saying its easy. at times it feels like my brain is hooked up to live electricity.
What has happened in the past is in the days afterwards. It's like the fuse gets lit and there is a time delay before it goes off. Or perhaps my 'sober muscle' gets fatigued and eventually fails.
I am aware of this now but a bit confused of the how and whys of this pattern.
Thanks sr
I past experiences I have done ok at surviving one day events without drinking. I'm not saying its easy. at times it feels like my brain is hooked up to live electricity.
What has happened in the past is in the days afterwards. It's like the fuse gets lit and there is a time delay before it goes off. Or perhaps my 'sober muscle' gets fatigued and eventually fails.
I am aware of this now but a bit confused of the how and whys of this pattern.
Thanks sr
I think I let my guard down for one, and two...I think any success with not drinking gave the AV an opportunity to start the 'maybe you're cured now' thoughts.
What alcoholic doesn't want to think one good sober night, one good sober party or one good sober time at a bar means he can drink normally now?
I can't make you do what I think you should FC - but I hope whatever plan you devise will be good enough and strong enough to keep you sober no matter is happening
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by Finalcall
Not attending will always be an option, however avoiding life is not a way I want to live.
i still need good times with fun and laughter and some of these occasions bring out the best and worst in people. Both of which I enjoy watching and being part.
Yes I will feel awkward and uncomfortable at times, even fidgety and bored. I need to learn how to be around alcohol and choose not to drink.
Need a plan b, and probably a plan c. I know where plan d takes me.
A different kind of playing the tape forward perhaps where I look forward to how much self pride I will have getting home sober from these events.
i still need good times with fun and laughter and some of these occasions bring out the best and worst in people. Both of which I enjoy watching and being part.
Yes I will feel awkward and uncomfortable at times, even fidgety and bored. I need to learn how to be around alcohol and choose not to drink.
Need a plan b, and probably a plan c. I know where plan d takes me.
A different kind of playing the tape forward perhaps where I look forward to how much self pride I will have getting home sober from these events.
OK, I have to qualify that, because I can't judge your tolerance for risk. Since you brought it up (did you actually bring it up or are we talking about this issue as a result of topic drift?)... since you brought it up, it sounds like you're not sure. You may be at risk. Keeping yourself out of harm's way trumps having those things you deserve in the pursuit of your own happiness, and that deserves an unqualified "Not now!"
If you think you can actually do this, then go ahead. If the whole thing goes south and you relapse, then drag out this post and read it again.
We deserve happiness and joy, but not necessarily now. If you can pull it off, it's a win. So best of luck. And I mean that sincerely.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Nsw
Posts: 408
There is definitely going to be a lot going on inside this head for the end of this calendar year.
For now I am just going get through each day. Eat well and hopefully have a smile and a laugh. Looking forward to waking up sober and hangover free on my Sunday morning.
Thanks for all the opinions. I am going to cross these bridges as I get to them.
I am grateful that I found this group
For now I am just going get through each day. Eat well and hopefully have a smile and a laugh. Looking forward to waking up sober and hangover free on my Sunday morning.
Thanks for all the opinions. I am going to cross these bridges as I get to them.
I am grateful that I found this group
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Thanks for all the opinions. I am going to cross these bridges as I get to them.
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Lakeside, Arizona
Posts: 1,138
For me I just can't have fun when I'll I'm doing is looking at the floor squinting my eyes and trying as hard as I can to fight the urges. My thoughts go circular and I can't really enjoy anything. Like Dee I've relapsed after making through these events when I get back to where I should be safe. It's like it sucked all the fight I had in me away.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
It’s tough to get out there and socialize while simultaneously protecting our sobriety. For me, I had an exit plan in place for each and every event I attended during the early days. I drove myself everywhere I went, I had 2-3 careful crafted exit strategies, and gave myself permission to leave whenever I needed.
Most times, I didn’t need to use my exit plan. It was enormously helpful to know that I could use my plan, if needed.
I’m17 months sober now. I can attend most events without fearing for my sobriety....but I still have an exit plan, just in case.
wishing you the best.
Most times, I didn’t need to use my exit plan. It was enormously helpful to know that I could use my plan, if needed.
I’m17 months sober now. I can attend most events without fearing for my sobriety....but I still have an exit plan, just in case.
wishing you the best.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Hi you
I found sober social gatherings hard at first.
Now I find drunk people irritating and boring and can wait to leave.
These would be my tips
1. Find a job at the party -
Be the unofficial/official photographer. Take photos of people at the party to give as gifts or to create an album.
2. Hang out with children
If there are any little kids at the party, spend time with them. They tend to be in the quiet part of the party/house.
3. If someone continuously pesters about why you are not drinking do stand up for yourself and say you will leave if they don't stop.
4. There is a time that will come when the drunks won't notice you leave. Just leave.
Send some more tips in a min xx
I found sober social gatherings hard at first.
Now I find drunk people irritating and boring and can wait to leave.
These would be my tips
1. Find a job at the party -
Be the unofficial/official photographer. Take photos of people at the party to give as gifts or to create an album.
2. Hang out with children
If there are any little kids at the party, spend time with them. They tend to be in the quiet part of the party/house.
3. If someone continuously pesters about why you are not drinking do stand up for yourself and say you will leave if they don't stop.
4. There is a time that will come when the drunks won't notice you leave. Just leave.
Send some more tips in a min xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi Final Call,
First, you are smart to be posting and thinking about these events in advance. Having a plan is definitely the most important thing.
In early sobriety I skipped a few things, but truthfully most of my drinking took place at home in my pajamas, so it is true that drinking can happen anywhere, which is why having that plan is so important!
There were two main reason (s) I avoided a few events in the beginning. I didn’t feel like dealing with people offering me drinks and looking shocked when I didn’t accept, and I didn’t feel like dealing with people a few drinks in.
If you decide to go you may want to preface attending in advance with “I’m only able to stop by for a little bit because I... people know how crazy this time of year is and won’t think a thing of it. Have an exit plan ready if you get there and realize it’s just too much. You could suddenly feel sick, get a phone call from... saying you need to leave, remember a work deadline, need to get to another event...
If you choose not to attend and feel a little sad plan something with friends that doesn’t involve alcohol. I met friends for walks a lot in the beginning, and still do, but I also enjoy the solitude of walking alone some days, so I do limit this! Make it a holiday movie marathon, get some popcorn, yummy treats, make hot chocolate and kick back and enjoy.
Whatever you decide the fact that you are already working on a plan shows your commitment to sobriety!
First, you are smart to be posting and thinking about these events in advance. Having a plan is definitely the most important thing.
In early sobriety I skipped a few things, but truthfully most of my drinking took place at home in my pajamas, so it is true that drinking can happen anywhere, which is why having that plan is so important!
There were two main reason (s) I avoided a few events in the beginning. I didn’t feel like dealing with people offering me drinks and looking shocked when I didn’t accept, and I didn’t feel like dealing with people a few drinks in.
If you decide to go you may want to preface attending in advance with “I’m only able to stop by for a little bit because I... people know how crazy this time of year is and won’t think a thing of it. Have an exit plan ready if you get there and realize it’s just too much. You could suddenly feel sick, get a phone call from... saying you need to leave, remember a work deadline, need to get to another event...
If you choose not to attend and feel a little sad plan something with friends that doesn’t involve alcohol. I met friends for walks a lot in the beginning, and still do, but I also enjoy the solitude of walking alone some days, so I do limit this! Make it a holiday movie marathon, get some popcorn, yummy treats, make hot chocolate and kick back and enjoy.
Whatever you decide the fact that you are already working on a plan shows your commitment to sobriety!
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