gypsytears

You should not be driving. Period.

It is clear that you need to go to an extended inpatient rehab.

At the very least... Please re read what Dee posted. He is much more diplomatic than I am.

Sweetichick2

I guess I am not utilising sober recovery enough. I get worried people are sick of me. Sometimes I barely make it to car. I need to stop giving inso easily. And find other alternatives.

Anna

Sweeti, I really, really hope that you stop driving.

Beyond that, I continue to pray that you make the decision to take care of yourself.

Dee74

You need to stop thinking about doing things and just do them.

Its not that people are sick of you - it's that you've gotten an immense amount of advice and you don't seem to be wiling to do anything - even the smallest thing - with that advice.

Can you see the difference?

D

Sweetichick2

That’s why I hardly ever go out. Only to the pub doctors or pharmacist. Or the corner store. I don’t want to lose my license as it will make me even more isolated

Hevyn

Praying you will save your life, Sweeti.

Sweetichick2

Yes I get it Dee

Anna

Sweeti, I'm concerned about you having an accident and hurting someone else, as well as yourself. Please re-think any amount of driving.

ishallnotwant

Delilah1

Hi Sweeti,

I saw this article online and thought you might get some ideas from it. Dee, if this isn’t okay to share please let me know.

https://sobernation.com/getting-sobe...pletely-broke/

suki44883

That is a great article, Delilah. Sweeti, you really should read it and take it to heart. It's pretty spot-on.

rainbowalien

Fusion

Sweeti, I’m saddened to read this. Why couldn’t you get up off the floor? What was physically stopping you for five hours, from moving your body into a crawling or other position, so that you could get back onto the lounge sofa? What changed after five hours, to enable you to get back up off the floor?

gypsytears

You are isolating yourself by drinking. You’re choosing isolation.

You say you can’t walk properly. That you’re shakey. You fall frequently and can’t get up for hours. You’ve skipped going to the doctors or outpatient or AA because of those reasons yet you’re always fine to drive to the pub.

You shouldn’t drive. You’re putting other people at risk.

There are things you can do to get better though. So many people spell them out every time, on every thread of yours:

Inpatient Detox

Inpatient Rehab

AA or other meetings

GP/ psychiatrist/Therapy

Online meetings

Post here more frequently

Recovery literature

Hobbies

Eating well

Physical exercise (as simple as a walk)

snitch

Keeping you in my prayers Sweeti 🙏❤🙏❤

Fusion

Sweeti, you don’t utilise SR enough because it’s only sometimes that you post before drinking, receive replies, and ignore the AV - great utilisation of SR, similar to the concept of “phone someone if the thought of a drink arises, in AA”. But, more usually, you post on SR after you’ve drank.

After you opened your new thread, 21 SR members responded positively, in fact, they were pleased that for once, your thread had a positive title. To me, it seemed like a good omen.

Please try to get back into the new mindset of the person who opened the thread, and post, and read, and interact with other posters. That’s how I made progress on my “relapse after tw and a half year” thread in Secular. Not by rarely posting or responding in ways that you’ve responded before, with excuses, because that didn’t work before.

We’ve all had excuses, it’s the nature of addiction, the AV knows them off-pat. It’s up to the real Sweeti to place the AVs excuses to one side, and take steps, no matter how small, to take actions to dig yourself out of the hole.

ShiftHappens

Sweeti Im sure you would never start out driving with the intention of causing harm to yourself and/or others, and perhaps where you are in the world things are different.

But in the US, if you get pulled over and they smell alcohol youre going to jail.

Im not trying to scare you but trying to keep you from the hell and expense of the court system, which no one needs but certainly not you at this point.

Obladi

sweeti, the moment I read you saying you can't do something is the moment I know you're drinking again/still. It feels very familiar to me, that place of stubborn despair and helplessness. It's awful to the point of almost nothingness, isn't it? It's the worst, and you don't deserve to be there, no matter what you've ever done or not done.

I know in my bones that you want to overcome this, sweeti. We're all here rooting you on and will continue to do so, even despite overwhelming evidence that we may not succeed in helping you. I think that's because so many of us have been in that desolate dark lonely smelly shameful place. We know what it's like and want to convince you that you don't need to spend one more minute in there.

Things are bad, luv.

I know it's scary to think you might not be able to do this sober thing. I'm not gonna lie - it's hard. But nothing, absolutely nothing I've ever experienced in my life, is as hard and demoralizing and soul-sucking as living right where you are now. Take hold of that tiny wisp of hope that keeps you coming here to post and get yourself admitted somewhere. You don't have to believe it will help. You don't have to believe you'll succeed. All you need to believe is that you cannot possibly continue to go on as you are now.

O

AnvilheadII

you stated that you fell off the COUCH and were on the floor for many hours - how can you then justify that it is OK to operate a motor vehicle because you are OK sitting down??

and if you are "ok because you are sitting down" why are you not able to make GP appointments, travel anywhere but the liquor establishment? this is the very definition of insanity.

when asked what your recovery PLAN was, you didn't have an answer. not one single idea about what you might do different now. regardless of the hundreds of supportive suggestions you have been given. not one single action.

as the shared article clearly stated, one must want sobriety more than anything else, and then take actions to that end. i wonder if you even have a clear concept of what SOBRIETY is........it is not managing to not drink for 48 hours. it is not experiencing horrible withdrawal over and over and over again every few days. it is not finding yet another excuse as to why you drank again.

i don't know if there is anything that anyone can share here that will make a difference. the Big Book describes certain alcoholics who cannot get sober as being "constitutionally incapable of being honest with THEMSELVES".

the only way to find out if you can achieve long-lived sobriety is to fully and completely devote yourself - mind, body and spirit - to the enterprise. make the commitment and take action. cease to use excuses and trade them in for using the tools of recovery. every minute of every day.

undoubtedly you will be back, claiming you are starting to feel better now. but not better enough to DO anything different.

i'm curious where you are with your valium intake? do you still rely upon valium to replace alcohol, until you run out and swiftly return to the bottle? have you spoken with COMPLETE honesty to both your GP and psychiatrist about your condition? do you tell them the same story? have you considered a joint appointment with both of them or a conference call so that everyone hears the same words?

there are two questions we should ask ourselves each day:

1. What am I WILLING to do for my recovery today?
2. What WILL I do today for my recovery?

notice they are not the same question. one talks about our willingness....and the other talks about ACTION taken in the immediate present - not later today or tomorrow or when i feel better.

48heath

Heartbreaking.