New to recovery and sobriety
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Ok, you messed up no need to keep drinking. Hope you poured all leftovers and are ready to make a plan for payday. There are going to be many paydays in your future and drinking cannot be a part of it.
Can someone else hold your money for you? Someone you can trust to pay your bills?
I still think you need rehab. But I’m pretty sure you won’t go.
I don’t know what else to say to help... what can you do sweetie to avoid the payday relapse?
Can someone else hold your money for you? Someone you can trust to pay your bills?
I still think you need rehab. But I’m pretty sure you won’t go.
I don’t know what else to say to help... what can you do sweetie to avoid the payday relapse?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 223
It's been a long term habit of mine. I used to drink in the t9ilets before grocery shopping. Then when I was caught by a cleàner I started by going to the pub first. I wasn't worried then about the smell. I am now terrified of being dobbed 8n. This site is definitely working.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
I think calling your father before you started drinking was a good idea. What did he say? Are you ready to make the changes previously suggested yet?
Detox
Inpatient rehab
Continued counseling
Outpatient
AA
Detox
Inpatient rehab
Continued counseling
Outpatient
AA
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by DontRemember 
doesn't seem to be working at all. It's been, litteraly, the exact same scenario for years. Why did you reach out to your dad?
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by Sweetichick2
Because he is the only real-life person helping me. He was an alcoholic himself but gave it u0 eventually, by then I was 22 vià the church.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi Sweeti
I just said to someone else it's not ok to let your guard down cos you've been doing better.
I have to be honest. I'm racking my brains here why you didn't use the support here or even just post in the last few days - unless you think it's ok for you to drink a little cos it's better than it was, maybe?
Don;t get me wrong - It's great that you're been getting a week sober in from time to time - but the tendency to stop there is really dangerous.
I did that for a while.
I lost sight of the fact that once I take that first drink it's really not down to me what happens next - I might stop in a day, or I might drink for the rest of the year and beyond....I might be OK or I might hit my head, get into a traffic accident, or fall and not be able to get up agian.
A lot of people here sensed you were wavering - they gave you a lot of really great suggestions.
There's some really great ideas on recovery plans in the November thread too in the past few days.
It's great you called your dad but in hindsight that wasn't enough.
Nobody wants to change their life and have to do things like fo to AA or outpatient Rehab (or inpatient) and especially not ask for help - but for some that's what's necessary.
Everyone here wants you to get well and not have to worry anymore about things like not being able to walk, neuropathy and wet brain.
There's also your BPD to consider and your benzo script. You can't adequately deal with those things if you're still regularly drinking, even if there are breaks.
I think you need to really think seriously about what's necessary for you now to turn these weeks here and there into solid lasting recovery....and whats stopping you from doing that.
Have a good look around too - if you're really sure your jewellerys been stolen ring the police - don't go to the drive though again.
D
I just said to someone else it's not ok to let your guard down cos you've been doing better.
I have to be honest. I'm racking my brains here why you didn't use the support here or even just post in the last few days - unless you think it's ok for you to drink a little cos it's better than it was, maybe?
Don;t get me wrong - It's great that you're been getting a week sober in from time to time - but the tendency to stop there is really dangerous.
I did that for a while.
I lost sight of the fact that once I take that first drink it's really not down to me what happens next - I might stop in a day, or I might drink for the rest of the year and beyond....I might be OK or I might hit my head, get into a traffic accident, or fall and not be able to get up agian.
A lot of people here sensed you were wavering - they gave you a lot of really great suggestions.
There's some really great ideas on recovery plans in the November thread too in the past few days.
It's great you called your dad but in hindsight that wasn't enough.
Nobody wants to change their life and have to do things like fo to AA or outpatient Rehab (or inpatient) and especially not ask for help - but for some that's what's necessary.
Everyone here wants you to get well and not have to worry anymore about things like not being able to walk, neuropathy and wet brain.
There's also your BPD to consider and your benzo script. You can't adequately deal with those things if you're still regularly drinking, even if there are breaks.
I think you need to really think seriously about what's necessary for you now to turn these weeks here and there into solid lasting recovery....and whats stopping you from doing that.
Have a good look around too - if you're really sure your jewellerys been stolen ring the police - don't go to the drive though again.
D
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by Sweetichick2
Because he is the only real-life person helping me. He was an alcoholic himself but gave it u0 eventually, by then I was 22 vià the church.
AA
SMART Recovery
Your doctors
A Psychologist
INPATIENT REHAB
Outpatient rehab
They won't come find you though, you have to go find them.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Kindly sweeti, as you have not/will not/do not want to change your behaviour/cycle/responses here. I will repeat myself as well because I can't think of anything new to say.
How about sobering up and starting to think about what you will do for the next payday. Cause another one's coming down the line....
Watching tv hasn't stopped you from drinking on payday
Cleaning up hasn't stopped you from drinking on payday
Buying a treat for yourself hasn't stopped you from drinking on payday
Taking valium hasn't stopped you from drinking on payday
Those are the things I can think that you have tried to stop drinking. Yet they haven't stopped you. I do think they are good items to have in a toolbox of recovery, but that toolbox needs to be much fuller.
The possibilities of things to add have been listed many times so I don't need to type them all out here.
You can do it, but you actually have to DO it!
Remember, insomnia will pass with healthy lifestyle changes. Eating well, exercising and not drinking. And being tired is better than being hungover. You also do not work, do not have any responsibilities that require energy and a sharp mind right now so you can always nap as needed. Insomnia should not be used as a reason to drink. If the insomnia continues it is all the more reason to insist to your doctors that you need help in an inpatient rehab facility where you will be supervised by doctors and nurses and psychologists 24/7.
The shaking will only get better with time if you let it. Drinking will only continue to add to the problem. When, and only when, you are really clear from alcohol for an extended time (much more than a week) can your doctors thoroughly evaluate what is alcohol related and what has to do with other issues (if the shaking does in fact continue). Shaking should not be used as a reason for drinking. If the shaking continues it is all the more reason to insist to your doctors that you need help in an inpatient rehab facility where you will be supervised by doctors and nurses and psychologists 24/7.
Cravings will come. Cravings will go. But the only way to lessen the cravings is to continue not drinking. You can learn to get through these cravings by using a number of different face to face options available to you. If the cravings continue it is all the more reason to insist to your doctors that you need help in an inpatient rehab facility where you will be supervised by doctors and nurses and psychologists 24/7.
Let's do this sweeti. By "do" I mean "DO"
How about sobering up and starting to think about what you will do for the next payday. Cause another one's coming down the line....
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
Watching tv hasn't stopped you from drinking on payday
Cleaning up hasn't stopped you from drinking on payday
Buying a treat for yourself hasn't stopped you from drinking on payday
Taking valium hasn't stopped you from drinking on payday
Those are the things I can think that you have tried to stop drinking. Yet they haven't stopped you. I do think they are good items to have in a toolbox of recovery, but that toolbox needs to be much fuller.
The possibilities of things to add have been listed many times so I don't need to type them all out here.
You can do it, but you actually have to DO it!
Remember, insomnia will pass with healthy lifestyle changes. Eating well, exercising and not drinking. And being tired is better than being hungover. You also do not work, do not have any responsibilities that require energy and a sharp mind right now so you can always nap as needed. Insomnia should not be used as a reason to drink. If the insomnia continues it is all the more reason to insist to your doctors that you need help in an inpatient rehab facility where you will be supervised by doctors and nurses and psychologists 24/7.
The shaking will only get better with time if you let it. Drinking will only continue to add to the problem. When, and only when, you are really clear from alcohol for an extended time (much more than a week) can your doctors thoroughly evaluate what is alcohol related and what has to do with other issues (if the shaking does in fact continue). Shaking should not be used as a reason for drinking. If the shaking continues it is all the more reason to insist to your doctors that you need help in an inpatient rehab facility where you will be supervised by doctors and nurses and psychologists 24/7.
Cravings will come. Cravings will go. But the only way to lessen the cravings is to continue not drinking. You can learn to get through these cravings by using a number of different face to face options available to you. If the cravings continue it is all the more reason to insist to your doctors that you need help in an inpatient rehab facility where you will be supervised by doctors and nurses and psychologists 24/7.
Let's do this sweeti. By "do" I mean "DO"
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Sweeti, I re-read my posts and wanted to comment because with a second look they sounded harsh or mean and I am not a person who is harsh or mean. But I am frank. And, in addition, I relate to you a lot. I too am a serial relapser. I can hear, feel, understand what you are going through. I think the only difference between you and I is that I have chosen to be active. I don't think you want it or deserve it less than I do. I don't think I am worse or better than you. we are the same. The only difference is that I have decided to be active in my recovery.
Has it always worked? No. I have relapsed so many times I just want to die. But I DO KEEP TRYING.
that is what I see missing from your battle. You just don't seem to do anything at all. A bit of tv, fine. I little cleaning up, fine. Nothing else.
I am not perfect sweetie, not at all. But I have made incredible progress simply by putting in the effort.
You have to actually do the work to get there. Sitting around doing nothing will get you nowhere.
Has it always worked? No. I have relapsed so many times I just want to die. But I DO KEEP TRYING.
that is what I see missing from your battle. You just don't seem to do anything at all. A bit of tv, fine. I little cleaning up, fine. Nothing else.
I am not perfect sweetie, not at all. But I have made incredible progress simply by putting in the effort.
You have to actually do the work to get there. Sitting around doing nothing will get you nowhere.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Originally Posted by Sweetichick2
Because he is the only real-life person helping me.
You won’t go to rehab, why not AA?
If I lived the way you do, I’d relapse for sure too. Living in isolation surrounded by my wreckage.
Why not change that? Ask for help! They are waiting for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
This site is definitely working.
in what way? you DO know this site won't keep your from drinking, right? that unless and until you make the decision to commit to sobriety no matter what, you will keep getting the exact same results. which are sadly all too predictable now.
responding nicely that something is a "good idea" or commenting on taking up arts and crafts are not AT ALL what people mean when they ask about ACTION STEPS in your RECOVERY. what are you going to do NOW, this day, in the next hour? right before you disappeared off the airwaves you were asked by multiple people what your PLAN was.....and, failing to HAVE one, and thus no response, you went silent.
you are without a single defense against the first drink. because you are not making the effort. your resistance is near to impenetrable. you have a NO or an excuse for everything.
which is fine.......but that means nothing is going to change for you, except that things WILL get worse. your dear father just came and cleaned up the detritus of your drinking for you.....over 130 bottles. did that help? did that change a single thing? NO. and nothing will until you decide you actually DO want to change. which i have to say seems in doubt.
in what way? you DO know this site won't keep your from drinking, right? that unless and until you make the decision to commit to sobriety no matter what, you will keep getting the exact same results. which are sadly all too predictable now.
responding nicely that something is a "good idea" or commenting on taking up arts and crafts are not AT ALL what people mean when they ask about ACTION STEPS in your RECOVERY. what are you going to do NOW, this day, in the next hour? right before you disappeared off the airwaves you were asked by multiple people what your PLAN was.....and, failing to HAVE one, and thus no response, you went silent.
you are without a single defense against the first drink. because you are not making the effort. your resistance is near to impenetrable. you have a NO or an excuse for everything.
which is fine.......but that means nothing is going to change for you, except that things WILL get worse. your dear father just came and cleaned up the detritus of your drinking for you.....over 130 bottles. did that help? did that change a single thing? NO. and nothing will until you decide you actually DO want to change. which i have to say seems in doubt.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by Sweetichick2
Because he is the only real-life person helping me. He was an alcoholic himself but gave it u0 eventually, by then I was 22 vià the church.
Why aren’t you willing to help yourself sweeti?
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Sweeti, if you knew me in real life, you’d know I’m never speechless. But here on the inter web, I’m almost speechless.
Why? Because your elderly father, sober for decades, recently removed 130 empty bottles from your house. Then you phoned your father, drove your car to buy drink, drank it. Then you posted here, in exactly the same way, as you have since 2016, that you “stuffed up on payday”. The only difference being, that you said “I’ll swear my car has a mind of its own”. Gulp,
Sweeti, one word “denial”. Or is it? Maybe you just want to continue your on/off drinking cycle and like the interaction on SR, because you’re lonely. I know loneliness, but drinking won’t negate it. Maybe you have no intention of actually putting in a plan to stop drinking! Maybe continuing to drink attracts more benefits in Australia, I’ve no idea, but I do hope not, because that would be a dreadful state of affairs.
Sweeti, like Mera said, likewise, I’m not a harsh person, but I really, really, want you to tell your truth. Do you want to stop drinking or not? And if so, what are you going to do differently this time to stop? Sweeti, I promise you there’s a better life the other side of addiction/alcoholism.
Why? Because your elderly father, sober for decades, recently removed 130 empty bottles from your house. Then you phoned your father, drove your car to buy drink, drank it. Then you posted here, in exactly the same way, as you have since 2016, that you “stuffed up on payday”. The only difference being, that you said “I’ll swear my car has a mind of its own”. Gulp,
Sweeti, one word “denial”. Or is it? Maybe you just want to continue your on/off drinking cycle and like the interaction on SR, because you’re lonely. I know loneliness, but drinking won’t negate it. Maybe you have no intention of actually putting in a plan to stop drinking! Maybe continuing to drink attracts more benefits in Australia, I’ve no idea, but I do hope not, because that would be a dreadful state of affairs.
Sweeti, like Mera said, likewise, I’m not a harsh person, but I really, really, want you to tell your truth. Do you want to stop drinking or not? And if so, what are you going to do differently this time to stop? Sweeti, I promise you there’s a better life the other side of addiction/alcoholism.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,870
Sweeti...It seems to me that you just say what you think we want to hear, but then just go on and do whatever you want to do, which is drink. Yes! I do think you want to drink. You seem to equate having money with drinking. You only stop when you run out of money. Sometimes, you even go take out hugely expensive loans so you can drink some more.
So many of us have given you good, concrete things to do to help yourself, but you won't do them. You always have some excuse why you can't do them. You refuse to go to AA; you refuse to go to inpatient detox; you refuse to go to inpatient rehab. You ignore our hard questions, and just give lip service to the soft ones. You did open up a bit last week, but as soon as you got money, you drove to the pub.
Like others, I no longer know what to say to you because you just ignore us.
So many of us have given you good, concrete things to do to help yourself, but you won't do them. You always have some excuse why you can't do them. You refuse to go to AA; you refuse to go to inpatient detox; you refuse to go to inpatient rehab. You ignore our hard questions, and just give lip service to the soft ones. You did open up a bit last week, but as soon as you got money, you drove to the pub.
Like others, I no longer know what to say to you because you just ignore us.
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