Giving up certain activities to stay sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 16
Giving up certain activities to stay sober.
Last night I was supposed to go watch one of my favorite bands play. I had a ticket to go with friends and obsessed over the thought of going all day. Even started getting ready, did my hair and make up. Sat there watching the clock and then last minute decided I didn’t trust myself. I only have 6 days sober and I KNEW it was a bad idea. I knew that I’ve been unable to go to a gig in past 15 years without drinking. I had mixed emotions. I was proud of myself for making the right decision but depressed as I sat alone on my couch, watching a movie while my friends sent me videos of the band. I hope one day I’ll be able to do the things I love again. Music has been such a huge part of my life and at the moment it seems being in that environment again is impossible.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
When I stopped drinking, one of the best things I heard was "No." Is a complete sentence. Not going to anything unnecessary (which, truthfully, is anything) was both the smart and the simplest path to staying sober. In time, I chose good people and places to spend time with, and only those supporting my happy sober life.
Good job on 6 days. Keep going.
Good job on 6 days. Keep going.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 598
It was painful staying at home but it would have been infinitely worse going to a music show with lots of drinking around you. Being around lots of drinking sober is the second worst thing to falling off the wagon. Both terrible and a waste of time.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
You will be able to do the things you love again sober, but that's down the road. When that time comes will be your own decision, based on where you think you are in recovery. An all day concert with drinking friends is extreme high risk at this point. You were right to pass so early in recovery. Give it 6 months at a very minimum. You will sense when you can safely go, but I would arrange transportation for yourself that you can rely on to get out of there the minute you feel things start to go south. That's a good rule for any risk situation. We call it "having an escape plan."
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
EasyLuckyFree - You were so smart to avoid temptation & a possible disaster.
My emotions were raw in the early days - I was a bit resentful & sorry for myself. I wasn't in any condition to be around alcohol. I grew stronger & more resilient as the sober time added up. I felt very different a few months later - and had no problem enjoying some of my old activities. I just needed to learn to trust myself & to treasure my new sober life. Nothing was going to tear down what I was building. You will get there. Congratulations on your 6 days & for making such a wise decision.
My emotions were raw in the early days - I was a bit resentful & sorry for myself. I wasn't in any condition to be around alcohol. I grew stronger & more resilient as the sober time added up. I felt very different a few months later - and had no problem enjoying some of my old activities. I just needed to learn to trust myself & to treasure my new sober life. Nothing was going to tear down what I was building. You will get there. Congratulations on your 6 days & for making such a wise decision.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 67
Hey it doesn’t mean you can’t ever go again - but it takes time to get a new attitude to things you used to drunk.
i also used to go to gigs all the time and got smashed. I generally had a great time - if I remembered much about it.
i had gig tickets to one of my faves when I was about 1 month sober but didn’t go and gave the tickets away.
i finally went to a gig last week (10 months sober) I was worried how I would feel and nearly didn’t go.
it was one of these bands that was mildly entertaining when smashed but rather than come away thinking “oh I miss drinking” I came away thinking “I’ll choose more interesting bands next time”
so give it time and you will be able to go again, but your attitude will have changed.
ps it was the Happy Monday’s if anyone remembers them and I mainly stood there chuckling at the comical sight of a grey haired bloke in his 50s still doing his drugged up dancing (Bez)
i also used to go to gigs all the time and got smashed. I generally had a great time - if I remembered much about it.
i had gig tickets to one of my faves when I was about 1 month sober but didn’t go and gave the tickets away.
i finally went to a gig last week (10 months sober) I was worried how I would feel and nearly didn’t go.
it was one of these bands that was mildly entertaining when smashed but rather than come away thinking “oh I miss drinking” I came away thinking “I’ll choose more interesting bands next time”
so give it time and you will be able to go again, but your attitude will have changed.
ps it was the Happy Monday’s if anyone remembers them and I mainly stood there chuckling at the comical sight of a grey haired bloke in his 50s still doing his drugged up dancing (Bez)
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
Yes u definitely made the right decision. U clearly know what will trigger u & ur taking steps to avoid it, well done!! Congratulations on day 6 too!!
Just think, in time u could end up enjoying these types of social gatherings but for now, this early on ur looking after urself.x
Just think, in time u could end up enjoying these types of social gatherings but for now, this early on ur looking after urself.x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 16
Thank you for the responses! Maybe I should have came on here last night and posted instead of laying on my couch alone feeling bad for myself haha. Going to watch shows has been a HUGE part of my life but also a very drunk part of my life. A lot of people go bars on the weekend.. I got to watch bands play and drink. It’s not that I can’t enjoy shows without being drunk.. because I love music. It’s just in those venues and drinking seem to go hand and hand . I’m glad to know others have been through this. Hopefully I’ll get there one day, until then I guess it’s just listening to records at home 
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
There will be a time when you can go anywhere and do anything and not be remotely tempted to drink...but right now? you're wise to be cautious.
Hang in there - it gets better
Concerts are just as much fun sober...even more so IMO - and you remember the show
D
Hang in there - it gets better
Concerts are just as much fun sober...even more so IMO - and you remember the show
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by FlyAgain 
Hey it doesn’t mean you can’t ever go again - but it takes time to get a new attitude to things you used to drunk.
i also used to go to gigs all the time and got smashed. I generally had a great time - if I remembered much about it.
i had gig tickets to one of my faves when I was about 1 month sober but didn’t go and gave the tickets away.
i finally went to a gig last week (10 months sober) I was worried how I would feel and nearly didn’t go.
it was one of these bands that was mildly entertaining when smashed but rather than come away thinking “oh I miss drinking” I came away thinking “I’ll choose more interesting bands next time”
so give it time and you will be able to go again, but your attitude will have changed.
ps it was the Happy Monday’s if anyone remembers them and I mainly stood there chuckling at the comical sight of a grey haired bloke in his 50s still doing his drugged up dancing (Bez)
i also used to go to gigs all the time and got smashed. I generally had a great time - if I remembered much about it.
i had gig tickets to one of my faves when I was about 1 month sober but didn’t go and gave the tickets away.
i finally went to a gig last week (10 months sober) I was worried how I would feel and nearly didn’t go.
it was one of these bands that was mildly entertaining when smashed but rather than come away thinking “oh I miss drinking” I came away thinking “I’ll choose more interesting bands next time”
so give it time and you will be able to go again, but your attitude will have changed.
ps it was the Happy Monday’s if anyone remembers them and I mainly stood there chuckling at the comical sight of a grey haired bloke in his 50s still doing his drugged up dancing (Bez)
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Easy - I just noticed the time stamp on this thread and saw it is about the same time as the one you posted about talking yourself into drinking around 2p. So I wanted to tell you how HUGE it is that you talked yourself OUT of going to a very dicey situation, especially as you had all those thoughts running around in your head.
That is HUGE! Great going.
That is HUGE! Great going.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by August252015
Easy - I just noticed the time stamp on this thread and saw it is about the same time as the one you posted about talking yourself into drinking around 2p. So I wanted to tell you how HUGE it is that you talked yourself OUT of going to a very dicey situation, especially as you had all those thoughts running around in your head.
That is HUGE! Great going.
That is HUGE! Great going.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by ThatWasTheOldMe
I fear I may need to give up video games - at least for a bit - for me to stay sober.
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