View Poll Results: How long were you drinking problematically?
Less than 1 year
2
0.40%
1 to 5 years
43
8.62%
6 to 10 years
88
17.64%
11 to 15 years
101
20.24%
16 to 20 years
82
16.43%
21 to 30 years
117
23.45%
More than 30 years
59
11.82%
I am recovering from another addiction
0
0%
Other
7
1.40%
Voters: 499. You may not vote on this poll
How long were you drinking problematically?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 324
Originally Posted by Tetrax 
All my adult life (I'm 34), pretty much from the second I got to university at 18. Unfortunately I got addicted before I made anything of myself, which puts me in a tricky spot right now. Starting life over, basically as a teenager but not looking like one.
Originally Posted by Gottalife
How much and how long isn't as important as what alcohol does. Alcoholism is a progressive illness. It progressed very quickly in me. The loss of control and choice was there right at the start. Over a period of about 9 years drinking insanely and for the last part being unable to eat, I reached a point of brain damaged insanity and malnutrition that put me squarely in end stage alcoholism with no more than six months to live at the age of 22. By this point no job, no money, no family, no friends, no roof over my head, regular hallucinations and loss of control of bodily functions.
I knew these other drinkers, three older guys who drank the equivalent to about 6 pints of English beer every day for years and years. They had jobs, they had wives, they had a routine, they had no alcoholic dramas. On a weekly basis they probably drank more than I did, but it gave them no problems of the kind I had. I really wanted to be like them, but I lacked the control. Even though they were not alcoholic, 30 years of drinking at that rate caused them to die a few years ahead of their time. I am glad I didn't get my wish or I wouldn't be here now.
I knew these other drinkers, three older guys who drank the equivalent to about 6 pints of English beer every day for years and years. They had jobs, they had wives, they had a routine, they had no alcoholic dramas. On a weekly basis they probably drank more than I did, but it gave them no problems of the kind I had. I really wanted to be like them, but I lacked the control. Even though they were not alcoholic, 30 years of drinking at that rate caused them to die a few years ahead of their time. I am glad I didn't get my wish or I wouldn't be here now.
It sounds like you are a chronic alcoholic and you were lucky you recovered so young. May I ask whether you made a full recovery and, if so, how long it took you?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,514
My early drinking days were largely ones of controlled drinking but things started to take a turn for the worst in 1986 when I was 22. I started going out drinking alone, something that I had never done in the 4 or 5 years I drank before that. So I've drank problematically since then with the odd period of sobriety mixed in. The longest I've gone since then without a drink is almost 6 months which was as long ago as 1998. Since then I've had a few two or three months breaks, the last being in 2015, but unfortunately I keep going back to drinking. I drank again yesterday (Saturday) so I'm back on Day One and it's taken me until about an hour ago to feel fine and it's almost midnight here in the UK. So that's 22 hours of being hungover if I incude the time I spent sleeping it off.
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
I understand the curiosity of posts like these, like how long did it take for you to XYZ the problem, etc.
I, unfortunately in my alcoholic mind, have used someone else's ability to drink longer than me without dying from it or other horrendous repercussions as reasons that I could drink still or had many years left on the mythical time clock.
I don't do that anymore.
It seems that for most people I've read about in regards to sobriety is usually a wish they had started sooner.
Regardless on how long or little they were in active addiction.
I, unfortunately in my alcoholic mind, have used someone else's ability to drink longer than me without dying from it or other horrendous repercussions as reasons that I could drink still or had many years left on the mythical time clock.
I don't do that anymore.
It seems that for most people I've read about in regards to sobriety is usually a wish they had started sooner.
Regardless on how long or little they were in active addiction.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
[QUOTE=Auchieshuggle;7307489
It sounds like you are a chronic alcoholic and you were lucky you recovered so young. May I ask whether you made a full recovery and, if so, how long it took you?[/QUOTE]
Chronic and hopeless, I did not expect to recover. What would a full recovery look like to you? I didn't lose much materially because of my age, I never had much in the first place. I lost mostly opportunities, self respect, physical and mental health, and had zero emotional growth. Of course I had the classic chronic alcoholic loss of control and choice in drink and had been unable to stop no matter how hard I tried.
So it went roughly like this. I joined AA and gullibly followed every suggestion as I really wanted the misery to stop. 9 steps later my sponsor called to tell me I had been sober for three months. No one was more surprised than me. The drink problem as in the obsession of the mind had completely gone and, I realised, had been gone for nearly all of that three month period. I did not stay sober by courageously not drinking, it was just the drinking thought never came. And it has never come again.
At that point I had recovered the opportunity to grow emotionally, my physical health was much better, I was able to resume my place in the mainstream of life, and participate in all the opportunities that my alcoholism had denied me.
It took a while to catch up in the work scene, but within two years I had landed the job of my dreams. Career wise I went from unemployable to senior management level in a national company, before starting my own business.
There was a point where I had recovered fully, but there has never been a point where I stopped growing and developing spiritually. That will continue until my dying day. By the Grace of a God I had no belief in, I will soon be 40 years sober.
It sounds like you are a chronic alcoholic and you were lucky you recovered so young. May I ask whether you made a full recovery and, if so, how long it took you?[/QUOTE]
Chronic and hopeless, I did not expect to recover. What would a full recovery look like to you? I didn't lose much materially because of my age, I never had much in the first place. I lost mostly opportunities, self respect, physical and mental health, and had zero emotional growth. Of course I had the classic chronic alcoholic loss of control and choice in drink and had been unable to stop no matter how hard I tried.
So it went roughly like this. I joined AA and gullibly followed every suggestion as I really wanted the misery to stop. 9 steps later my sponsor called to tell me I had been sober for three months. No one was more surprised than me. The drink problem as in the obsession of the mind had completely gone and, I realised, had been gone for nearly all of that three month period. I did not stay sober by courageously not drinking, it was just the drinking thought never came. And it has never come again.
At that point I had recovered the opportunity to grow emotionally, my physical health was much better, I was able to resume my place in the mainstream of life, and participate in all the opportunities that my alcoholism had denied me.
It took a while to catch up in the work scene, but within two years I had landed the job of my dreams. Career wise I went from unemployable to senior management level in a national company, before starting my own business.
There was a point where I had recovered fully, but there has never been a point where I stopped growing and developing spiritually. That will continue until my dying day. By the Grace of a God I had no belief in, I will soon be 40 years sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
Originally Posted by Auchieshuggle
Good for you, pal! I hope you stick to it. How long have you been sober? Have you noticed any physical and mental benefits? I ask because you sound a bit like me, both in terms of your age and drinking history, and I'm on day four.
I have stopped before and reaped the benefits - weight loss, more energy, financially better off, better relationships - only to throw it all away after a few months.
I have stopped before and reaped the benefits - weight loss, more energy, financially better off, better relationships - only to throw it all away after a few months.
I also started keto and intermittent fasting. I had a pretty good diet before but avoiding alcohol has helped me tighten the screws and get my lightest at 45 years old since I was like 16 years old. I look better now than I ever did in my alcohol filled adult life. The intermittent fasting could be dangerous in recovery so I drink black coffee to deal with any hunger issues and make sure my head is balanced out.
My anxiety got much better. I'm not sure how much of that is spiritual and how much is not having the alchohol mess it up. Alcholol gave me instant relief from anxiety but then cranks it right back up with a hangover. Seems to let much of that anxiety linger in the next days. On the spiritual side I noticed a correlation to how my mood and attitude when I was younger went right down the toilet directly with my lack of faith in God. I think anxiety is kind of the exact opposite of trust in a higher power.
I noticed I manage my life better sober. Sure I can show up for work and workout and even did tons of school while actively using. Then I would hit a wall and say that's all got left. I wouldn't go that extra mile and clean up after myself. My place was usually a mess. Even when I had money bills were paid late because I was so unorganized. When I'm sober I feel so much more on top of things.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by tornrealization
I, unfortunately in my alcoholic mind, have used someone else's ability to drink longer than me without dying from it or other horrendous repercussions as reasons that I could drink still or had many years left on the mythical time clock.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 324
Originally Posted by tornrealization
I understand the curiosity of posts like these, like how long did it take for you to XYZ the problem, etc.
I, unfortunately in my alcoholic mind, have used someone else's ability to drink longer than me without dying from it or other horrendous repercussions as reasons that I could drink still or had many years left on the mythical time clock.
I don't do that anymore.
It seems that for most people I've read about in regards to sobriety is usually a wish they had started sooner. Regardless on how long or little they were in active addiction.
I, unfortunately in my alcoholic mind, have used someone else's ability to drink longer than me without dying from it or other horrendous repercussions as reasons that I could drink still or had many years left on the mythical time clock.
I don't do that anymore.
It seems that for most people I've read about in regards to sobriety is usually a wish they had started sooner.
Regardless on how long or little they were in active addiction.Unfortunately, or in some cases fortunately, it's a lottery to some extent - genetics, diet, psychology and a myriad of other factors all playing their part. Five years' heavy drinking is enough to cause serious cardiovascular damage, for example. Shane is still alive and yet I know of teetotal non-smokers who have died in their thirties - that's just life. The longer one drinks this poison the greater one's chances of dying. That's all I take from this.
However, when I think "oooh, the anxiety's overwhelming, or I have left it too late - what's the point?", it's good to look at people who have drank considerably more and yet still turned their lives around.
Originally Posted by Gottalife
Chronic and hopeless, I did not expect to recover. What would a full recovery look like to you? I didn't lose much materially because of my age, I never had much in the first place. I lost mostly opportunities, self respect, physical and mental health, and had zero emotional growth. Of course I had the classic chronic alcoholic loss of control and choice in drink and had been unable to stop no matter how hard I tried.
So it went roughly like this. I joined AA and gullibly followed every suggestion as I really wanted the misery to stop. 9 steps later my sponsor called to tell me I had been sober for three months. No one was more surprised than me. The drink problem as in the obsession of the mind had completely gone and, I realised, had been gone for nearly all of that three month period. I did not stay sober by courageously not drinking, it was just the drinking thought never came. And it has never come again.
At that point I had recovered the opportunity to grow emotionally, my physical health was much better, I was able to resume my place in the mainstream of life, and participate in all the opportunities that my alcoholism had denied me.
It took a while to catch up in the work scene, but within two years I had landed the job of my dreams. Career wise I went from unemployable to senior management level in a national company, before starting my own business.
There was a point where I had recovered fully, but there has never been a point where I stopped growing and developing spiritually. That will continue until my dying day. By the Grace of a God I had no belief in, I will soon be 40 years sober.
So it went roughly like this. I joined AA and gullibly followed every suggestion as I really wanted the misery to stop. 9 steps later my sponsor called to tell me I had been sober for three months. No one was more surprised than me. The drink problem as in the obsession of the mind had completely gone and, I realised, had been gone for nearly all of that three month period. I did not stay sober by courageously not drinking, it was just the drinking thought never came. And it has never come again.
At that point I had recovered the opportunity to grow emotionally, my physical health was much better, I was able to resume my place in the mainstream of life, and participate in all the opportunities that my alcoholism had denied me.
It took a while to catch up in the work scene, but within two years I had landed the job of my dreams. Career wise I went from unemployable to senior management level in a national company, before starting my own business.
There was a point where I had recovered fully, but there has never been a point where I stopped growing and developing spiritually. That will continue until my dying day. By the Grace of a God I had no belief in, I will soon be 40 years sober.
Originally Posted by RecklessDrunk
I took care of myself physically over the years. At least through the work week. A strict schedule of diet and exercise through the week then drinkin and druggin on the weekend. Physically it's tough to measure. I smoked right up until the last couple of years of drinking. Even while actively using in my early 40s I got faster at a distance of 6.2 miles than when I was 27 and smoking. When I got sober I got focused on 3.1 miles and at 43 was faster than when I was 27. Right now at 45 I've been struggling with minor injuries that are throwing me off just enough that I'm not quite a my best. That's kind of the trouble when I'm injured I want to run and lift weights as bad as I use to want to drink. My hamstring has left me able to run a so so pace for 5 miles easily but hurts when I try to run fast. As of 2 nights ago I was a minute and 8 seconds off my best. I'm coming back and hopefully I can still get faster.
I also started keto and intermittent fasting. I had a pretty good diet before but avoiding alcohol has helped me tighten the screws and get my lightest at 45 years old since I was like 16 years old. I look better now than I ever did in my alcohol filled adult life. The intermittent fasting could be dangerous in recovery so I drink black coffee to deal with any hunger issues and make sure my head is balanced out.
My anxiety got much better. I'm not sure how much of that is spiritual and how much is not having the alchohol mess it up. Alcholol gave me instant relief from anxiety but then cranks it right back up with a hangover. Seems to let much of that anxiety linger in the next days. On the spiritual side I noticed a correlation to how my mood and attitude when I was younger went right down the toilet directly with my lack of faith in God. I think anxiety is kind of the exact opposite of trust in a higher power.
I noticed I manage my life better sober. Sure I can show up for work and workout and even did tons of school while actively using. Then I would hit a wall and say that's all got left. I wouldn't go that extra mile and clean up after myself. My place was usually a mess. Even when I had money bills were paid late because I was so unorganized. When I'm sober I feel so much more on top of things.
I also started keto and intermittent fasting. I had a pretty good diet before but avoiding alcohol has helped me tighten the screws and get my lightest at 45 years old since I was like 16 years old. I look better now than I ever did in my alcohol filled adult life. The intermittent fasting could be dangerous in recovery so I drink black coffee to deal with any hunger issues and make sure my head is balanced out.
My anxiety got much better. I'm not sure how much of that is spiritual and how much is not having the alchohol mess it up. Alcholol gave me instant relief from anxiety but then cranks it right back up with a hangover. Seems to let much of that anxiety linger in the next days. On the spiritual side I noticed a correlation to how my mood and attitude when I was younger went right down the toilet directly with my lack of faith in God. I think anxiety is kind of the exact opposite of trust in a higher power.
I noticed I manage my life better sober. Sure I can show up for work and workout and even did tons of school while actively using. Then I would hit a wall and say that's all got left. I wouldn't go that extra mile and clean up after myself. My place was usually a mess. Even when I had money bills were paid late because I was so unorganized. When I'm sober I feel so much more on top of things.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,514
^
Shane MacGowan might still be alive but I don't think he's in great health. Apart from losing all his teeth and becoming very bloated I have heard that he's no longer able to walk properly and is confined to a wheelchair...
Shane MacGowan might still be alive but I don't think he's in great health. Apart from losing all his teeth and becoming very bloated I have heard that he's no longer able to walk properly and is confined to a wheelchair...
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I said over 30 years. That's not 100% accurate, because I did have some years along the way when my drinking was controlled. I say I drank problematically for that long because I now recognize that I drank problematically right from the very beginning, starting at age 18, going to college parties and binging 3-4 times a week. So - while I may have managed to keep it in check at various times in my life, at the very heart of it, when I did drink, my off-switch was broken from day one.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Cornwall
Posts: 60
I chose 30+ years. I started about the age of 13 and by 15 I was drinking several pints a day. Yes I have had periods where I didn't drink during that time but over all I had been drinking to problematic levels since that first drink.
Like others have commented I don't see that time as being a "wasted life", I achieved enough to be proud of and comfortable until I let the alcohol completely take over and take almost everything from me. I held down jobs, made wonderful friends, passed exams and had some amazing life experiences. I don't regret any drink I have had because they all brought me to this point in my life today.
Each drink I took was a step on my journey that has delivered me to almost 1 year of sobriety, an understanding of what I was and who I could be and a sense of acceptance and peacefulness that I doubt I would ever have reached had I led a different life.
Yes I could have stopped earlier, yes I may have felt better and achieved more if I had but I would rather be happy as I am, have what little I have and appreciate life and those around me as much as I do than have reached this point in my life without the experience of everything I have gone through to get here and the support of those friends who truly are friends and not just those I think are friends.
Alcoholic? Yes. Wasted life? No. Happy? Definitely.
Like others have commented I don't see that time as being a "wasted life", I achieved enough to be proud of and comfortable until I let the alcohol completely take over and take almost everything from me. I held down jobs, made wonderful friends, passed exams and had some amazing life experiences. I don't regret any drink I have had because they all brought me to this point in my life today.
Each drink I took was a step on my journey that has delivered me to almost 1 year of sobriety, an understanding of what I was and who I could be and a sense of acceptance and peacefulness that I doubt I would ever have reached had I led a different life.
Yes I could have stopped earlier, yes I may have felt better and achieved more if I had but I would rather be happy as I am, have what little I have and appreciate life and those around me as much as I do than have reached this point in my life without the experience of everything I have gone through to get here and the support of those friends who truly are friends and not just those I think are friends.
Alcoholic? Yes. Wasted life? No. Happy? Definitely.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 324
Originally Posted by Robbie64
^
Shane MacGowan might still be alive but I don't think he's in great health. Apart from losing all his teeth and becoming very bloated I have heard that he's no longer able to walk properly and is confined to a wheelchair...
Shane MacGowan might still be alive but I don't think he's in great health. Apart from losing all his teeth and becoming very bloated I have heard that he's no longer able to walk properly and is confined to a wheelchair...
Originally Posted by MLD51
I said over 30 years. That's not 100% accurate, because I did have some years along the way when my drinking was controlled. I say I drank problematically for that long because I now recognize that I drank problematically right from the very beginning, starting at age 18, going to college parties and binging 3-4 times a week. So - while I may have managed to keep it in check at various times in my life, at the very heart of it, when I did drink, my off-switch was broken from day one.
Originally Posted by Livingonwishes
I chose 30+ years. I started about the age of 13 and by 15 I was drinking several pints a day. Yes I have had periods where I didn't drink during that time but over all I had been drinking to problematic levels since that first drink.
Like others have commented I don't see that time as being a "wasted life", I achieved enough to be proud of and comfortable until I let the alcohol completely take over and take almost everything from me. I held down jobs, made wonderful friends, passed exams and had some amazing life experiences. I don't regret any drink I have had because they all brought me to this point in my life today.
Each drink I took was a step on my journey that has delivered me to almost 1 year of sobriety, an understanding of what I was and who I could be and a sense of acceptance and peacefulness that I doubt I would ever have reached had I led a different life.
Yes I could have stopped earlier, yes I may have felt better and achieved more if I had but I would rather be happy as I am, have what little I have and appreciate life and those around me as much as I do than have reached this point in my life without the experience of everything I have gone through to get here and the support of those friends who truly are friends and not just those I think are friends.
Alcoholic? Yes. Wasted life? No. Happy? Definitely.
Like others have commented I don't see that time as being a "wasted life", I achieved enough to be proud of and comfortable until I let the alcohol completely take over and take almost everything from me. I held down jobs, made wonderful friends, passed exams and had some amazing life experiences. I don't regret any drink I have had because they all brought me to this point in my life today.
Each drink I took was a step on my journey that has delivered me to almost 1 year of sobriety, an understanding of what I was and who I could be and a sense of acceptance and peacefulness that I doubt I would ever have reached had I led a different life.
Yes I could have stopped earlier, yes I may have felt better and achieved more if I had but I would rather be happy as I am, have what little I have and appreciate life and those around me as much as I do than have reached this point in my life without the experience of everything I have gone through to get here and the support of those friends who truly are friends and not just those I think are friends.
Alcoholic? Yes. Wasted life? No. Happy? Definitely.
Now at forty years old, I wonder how much I have left.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Originally Posted by Auchieshuggle
You sound like you basically had a very, very long party! I don't wish to trivialise your addiction or the suffering you experienced, but it sounds like you may have had days when you got stoned or took acid instead of consistently getting pissed.
I had the odd joint, but cannabis made me anxious. If I took a few blasts from a spliff when I was sober I would just panic and drink as much as I could, as quickly as I could to sedate myself.
I think mixing drugs is bad for the mind, but might actually give one's organs some respite, e.g. a few days getting stoned is less taxing on the liver than a two day bender.
With me it was twenty years of drink, day after day, with perhaps one day a week in which I lay shaking in my bed or perhaps had a couple of beers to take the edge of it.
I can sympathise with your predicament to a large extent. As I have previously stated I suffer from an anxiety condition, and without alcohol life can be trying as it is. With alcohol I get a few hours of respite followed by many more of absolute hell, though.
If you had children did you not take a break from alcohol, if that isn't a personal question?
I had the odd joint, but cannabis made me anxious. If I took a few blasts from a spliff when I was sober I would just panic and drink as much as I could, as quickly as I could to sedate myself.
I think mixing drugs is bad for the mind, but might actually give one's organs some respite, e.g. a few days getting stoned is less taxing on the liver than a two day bender.
With me it was twenty years of drink, day after day, with perhaps one day a week in which I lay shaking in my bed or perhaps had a couple of beers to take the edge of it.
I can sympathise with your predicament to a large extent. As I have previously stated I suffer from an anxiety condition, and without alcohol life can be trying as it is. With alcohol I get a few hours of respite followed by many more of absolute hell, though.
If you had children did you not take a break from alcohol, if that isn't a personal question?
We sound similar. I stopped smoking cannabis at 21 as it just gave me a panic attack and anxiety and I'd end up drinking loads of beers quickly to sedate myself too.
I also seem to have quite high general anxiety, which I used to medicate with drink. Then drink used to work for a few hours but it ultimately made my anxiety far worse.
Now, through regular exercise, eating well, meditation and working the steps, and by avoiding alcohol, I find life is enjoyable and my anxiety is much lower.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
My 11-15 is a cumulative estimate. The first time I drank I got smashed, and have never understood how people do it any other way.
When I was smoking marijuana I drank less(ish), and I did "moderate" while married, but each time I came back around to alcohol it got worse. Even in my better times I qualified as a heavy drinker; in the end, it was a couple dismal years of getting blackout drunk nearly every night that got me sober.
When I was smoking marijuana I drank less(ish), and I did "moderate" while married, but each time I came back around to alcohol it got worse. Even in my better times I qualified as a heavy drinker; in the end, it was a couple dismal years of getting blackout drunk nearly every night that got me sober.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
i was never a fun haver/ partier/ bar drinker
i always drank at home/ drapes closed to shut off from ....
fear
hate
rage
anger
disgust
resentment
my first drink/ last drink and all in between were always problematic
hope this kind of honesty is helpful
i always drank at home/ drapes closed to shut off from ....
fear
hate
rage
anger
disgust
resentment
my first drink/ last drink and all in between were always problematic
hope this kind of honesty is helpful
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
Originally Posted by Gottalife
By the Grace of a God I had no belief in, I will soon be 40 years sober.
Every time he talks at meeting level he always remembers to mention that now he is now sober 1/2 his life.
We (the group) like it.
We (the group) also have a member who still attends with 57 years! - sober since 1962 - the year I was born.
Seriously cool!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
I drank "normally" for about 25 years starting in high school, but even though the warning signs were there, I was lucky in that I was only truly out of control for about three to four years. It was so bad that I had no recollection that the NFL team I follow had won the Superbowl. I was really surprised to be informed in 2016 by my fiance that the Seahawks won in 2014, even though I followed the team and undoubtedly watched the Superbowl. That's how crazy my addiction was.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 593
Just shy of 30 years for me.
I remember my first beer. I actually didn't like it and dumped it out. I wish I had gotten the hint.
Soon to wine, then Scotch, finally vodka. Of course it was mostly anything available.
First blackout in 1998. Scared the heck out of me, but no it didn't stop me. Sad to say I got really used to them. Just try to cover for them, say "Oh yeah, I forgot about that." A lot. Like anyone believed me. Wake up with black eyes, bruised ribs, even a broken arm. No pain, no recollection.
Just ridiculous.
I remember my first beer. I actually didn't like it and dumped it out. I wish I had gotten the hint.
Soon to wine, then Scotch, finally vodka. Of course it was mostly anything available.
First blackout in 1998. Scared the heck out of me, but no it didn't stop me. Sad to say I got really used to them. Just try to cover for them, say "Oh yeah, I forgot about that." A lot. Like anyone believed me. Wake up with black eyes, bruised ribs, even a broken arm. No pain, no recollection.
Just ridiculous.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 87
I'm in the 16 - 20 camp. I had been kidding myself that my drinking had only really gotten out of control over my last year or two of drinking. It's true that that's when it had progressed rapidly, but it was a problem long before that.
I had a moment of clarity after about two days into sobriety, sitting in my car in a WalMart parking lot of all places. I realized just how long alcohol had a grip on me. I thought of when I started hiding bottles in my garage and how long I had been obsessed with drinking. I really got choked up thinking about the wasted years.
SC
I had a moment of clarity after about two days into sobriety, sitting in my car in a WalMart parking lot of all places. I realized just how long alcohol had a grip on me. I thought of when I started hiding bottles in my garage and how long I had been obsessed with drinking. I really got choked up thinking about the wasted years.
SC
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