In need of some support
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
In need of some support
Hi everyone,
I hope everyone is having a nice weekend. Long story short my girlfriend and I have been having an issue involving itching. I have been experiencing this problem for about three years now. It has affected our relationship so much that we had to decide to live in separate places in order to figure the problem out. I think it's some kind of Allergan that is giving me the problem. And my girlfriend thinks it is in my head . We moved into separate places five months ago and I have very rarely itched at my own place. I did a thorough cleaning with borax eliminate to eliminate the problem and she did nothing. I no longer itch living on my own and only at her place. When were together out on vacation I don't itch. I am very frustrated and have done my best to find what is causing my itching. I feel like everyone has taken her Side which says that I have relationship issues. Need some insight thanks so much! Feeling distraught and abandoned. Could my addiction be manifesting itching? Btw I'm coming on 1000 days sober.
thanks!
Garrison
I hope everyone is having a nice weekend. Long story short my girlfriend and I have been having an issue involving itching. I have been experiencing this problem for about three years now. It has affected our relationship so much that we had to decide to live in separate places in order to figure the problem out. I think it's some kind of Allergan that is giving me the problem. And my girlfriend thinks it is in my head . We moved into separate places five months ago and I have very rarely itched at my own place. I did a thorough cleaning with borax eliminate to eliminate the problem and she did nothing. I no longer itch living on my own and only at her place. When were together out on vacation I don't itch. I am very frustrated and have done my best to find what is causing my itching. I feel like everyone has taken her Side which says that I have relationship issues. Need some insight thanks so much! Feeling distraught and abandoned. Could my addiction be manifesting itching? Btw I'm coming on 1000 days sober.
thanks!
Garrison
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
How frustrating!
Have you ruled out the obvious possibilities of bug infestations at your girlfriends place? Lice, fleas, mites, bed bugs.....I know it's gross to imagine, but they would certainly make you itch at her place!
Have you ruled out the obvious possibilities of bug infestations at your girlfriends place? Lice, fleas, mites, bed bugs.....I know it's gross to imagine, but they would certainly make you itch at her place!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Hey there!
no I haven't ruled anything out as far as a bug. I think I'm frustrated because everyone is immediately thinking its in my he I think something that's very small and hard to get omicroscope. I feel that a lot of my friends and my girlfriend have turned their back on me. I'm sorry I guess I am very much into self-pity right now because I do not know what to do. I think what I really need to do is try to find a sample of what is causing my itching but that is extremely hard. I just feel that my girlfriend does not trust me and has no faith in my ability to figure out this problem wwhich I think is why I'm really upset.
no I haven't ruled anything out as far as a bug. I think I'm frustrated because everyone is immediately thinking its in my he I think something that's very small and hard to get omicroscope. I feel that a lot of my friends and my girlfriend have turned their back on me. I'm sorry I guess I am very much into self-pity right now because I do not know what to do. I think what I really need to do is try to find a sample of what is causing my itching but that is extremely hard. I just feel that my girlfriend does not trust me and has no faith in my ability to figure out this problem wwhich I think is why I'm really upset.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
I'm sorry that you are feeling so isolated by your friends and girlfriend. Are you at all concerned about that? It seems that she should be supporting you and helping you get to the root of the problem, even if it is a manifestation of your mind. You deserve kindness and compassion.
Maybe ask yourself why your GF isn't offering you that??
Pity parties are allowed! I've sure been there
Maybe ask yourself why your GF isn't offering you that??
Pity parties are allowed! I've sure been there
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi comtnman
Sorry its still an issue.
It is hard to pinpoint an allergy sometimes. Did you see a Dr about maybe doing that? keeping an allergy diary of what you wear and what you eat etc?
D
Sorry its still an issue.
It is hard to pinpoint an allergy sometimes. Did you see a Dr about maybe doing that? keeping an allergy diary of what you wear and what you eat etc?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Yes I am extremely concerned about being isolated. I am an alcoholic and that is not something I need. I feel like my friends and girlfriend have not been open minded of the situation and I have. She asked me to go to therapy and I did for close to two months and the therapist was not able to help me. I am frustrated because logic would say the whole scenario I described would be pretty simple. She has an allergen in the environment that I'm allergic to and we need to get rid of it. Anyway I believe what I need to try to do is try to identify what is making me allergic. I am just skeptical of even if I do find something if she's going to believe me then. I just don't feel like she trusts me and I don't know why? I am upset because my friends and girlfriend Are immediately going to "you have issues with your head" instead of the more likely scenario where it's in environmental allergen. It's really frustrating and it makes me angry.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
I have been to two allergist and multiple doctors and no one is able to help me. I have done my own research and there are many other people suffering from the same thing. There are small micro pass called springtails and Colin bola which are hard to see with the naked eye but still cause problems to some people.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I know someone who had to keep an allergen diary for years before they found the problem.
I'm sorry your gf and friends prefer to think it's in your head.
Dealing with something chronic like this is hard.
I wish I had other things to suggest.
I hope you won't let it isolate you Garrison.
D
I'm sorry your gf and friends prefer to think it's in your head.
Dealing with something chronic like this is hard.
I wish I had other things to suggest.
I hope you won't let it isolate you Garrison.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,508
Gosh, I'm really sorry that you are going through this. I know it's really hard to pinpoint an allergen because it can be so many things. The thing that concerns me a lot about your posts is that you believe your girlfriend doesn't trust you. And, you said that even if you pinpoint an allergen, she will probably not believe you. That's a sad situation for a relationship to be in. I know you said you've tried therapy which didn't help, but have you considered couples counselling?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 38
I once changed my laundry detergent brand and washed about 5 loads of clothes and bedding during change of the season wardrobe and my skin broke out and i itched like crazy. I was so glad when I finally figured out what it was, but had to re wash everything. Have you looked into specific areas of the house to see where/when/who the itching takes place? A diary of each exposure sounds like a great way to try to get a handle on it. Sorry to hear about the stress it’s causing for you. Don’t let it overcome your progress so far to be sober- you will get through this!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I understand and think you have a point. If you only itch at her place, then something there is causing you to have a reaction. That seems logical to me. I hope you can find the cause of your allergy. I am sorry your gf and friends aren't more empathetic. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Thank you So much everyone for your kind words! I was feeling very down and alone about this last night and your words really helped me get through it. I only itch in her bedroom under the covers at night. I need to double my efforts at trying to figure out what it is. I hope everyone has a great day!
Thanks!
Garrison
Thanks!
Garrison
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hmmm. Only in bed so that's a good thing. Laundry detergent? Try hypoallergenic sheets? Buy a new bed, throw the old one out? Bed bugs are easy to find and if she's not itching or there are no noticeable bites that probably isn't it. Have you tried any of that?
Otherwise I'd be like 'love ya but not gettin in that bed'.
I wanted to add that when my ex and I lived in Hawaii, he always had mosquitoes in his room. Like always. He would never hear them, they never bit him. But they loved me. We could never find them, but they were there. And I had the bites to prove it. So I just said, if you want to see me its my place or nothing. I won. No bites. Everyone is happy. Well until we divorced but that had nothing to do with mosquitoes. Lol.
Otherwise I'd be like 'love ya but not gettin in that bed'.
I wanted to add that when my ex and I lived in Hawaii, he always had mosquitoes in his room. Like always. He would never hear them, they never bit him. But they loved me. We could never find them, but they were there. And I had the bites to prove it. So I just said, if you want to see me its my place or nothing. I won. No bites. Everyone is happy. Well until we divorced but that had nothing to do with mosquitoes. Lol.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Originally Posted by entropy1964 
Hmmm. Only in bed so that's a good thing. Laundry detergent? Try hypoallergenic sheets? Buy a new bed, throw the old one out? Bed bugs are easy to find and if she's not itching or there are no noticeable bites that probably isn't it. Have you tried any of that?
Otherwise I'd be like 'love ya but not gettin in that bed'.
I wanted to add that when my ex and I lived in Hawaii, he always had mosquitoes in his room. Like always. He would never hear them, they never bit him. But they loved me. We could never find them, but they were there. And I had the bites to prove it. So I just said, if you want to see me its my place or nothing. I won. No bites. Everyone is happy. Well until we divorced but that had nothing to do with mosquitoes. Lol.
Otherwise I'd be like 'love ya but not gettin in that bed'.
I wanted to add that when my ex and I lived in Hawaii, he always had mosquitoes in his room. Like always. He would never hear them, they never bit him. But they loved me. We could never find them, but they were there. And I had the bites to prove it. So I just said, if you want to see me its my place or nothing. I won. No bites. Everyone is happy. Well until we divorced but that had nothing to do with mosquitoes. Lol.
ME being an alcoholic my thinking gets *stuck* almost like OCD -I have been known to change sheets or pajamas in the middle of the night due to itching. Due to constant detoxing for me? Anyhow its like I could not fall asleep unless I went through the ritual. It was a psychological mind thing for me?
Do you think a hypnotist could help?? I know it sounds wild but I really think your mind is a powerful tool.
Or it is something you are allergic too for sure.
Beth
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
Well, it sounds like you have narrowed it down to the bed. I would certainly try changing the laundry soap to fragrance free and do not use fabric softner.
I wouldn't be afraid to tell my partner that until the issue is solved I would be sleeping at home! Geez...itching sucks
I wouldn't be afraid to tell my partner that until the issue is solved I would be sleeping at home! Geez...itching sucks
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