Callas

I have been away form these forums for a while due to internet connection problems. This has made me realise how important SR is for my recovery. Apart from reading and posting here I am walking this road alone. It is difficult.

I recently went on a week long golf trip with golfing buddies from our club. Big mistake. I knew how these trips go. I have been on many over the years. It is about golfing and drinking. I thought at 8 months sober now I would be ok. I was not. I did not drink nor was I tempted to but I truly hated almost every moment of the trip. It was difficult to hide my feelings and pretend to have “fun” while everyone else was getting sloshed. I will never do this again.

I do not know when or if ever sobriety will become easier. Perhaps one should just accept that some things in life will always be difficult but worth it.

Belonging to this forum is the strongest support I have. Thank you all for sharing your struggles and your success stories. It is so valuable.

MagnumCat

Good job on not drinking!!

Speaking from experience, not all golfers drink. Hopefully you can find some new golf buddies and continue to enjoy your outings.

I wish I could be out golfing, but the courses are all covered in snow here. Clubs are put away until spring.

Dee74

We're glad to have you back Callas - and massive kudos for staying true to your resolve

D

brighterday1234

SoberRican

So booze and golf go hand and hand? No dice? Try somethin different yeah?. Good job laying off the sauce. ✌

Kaily

Sorry you had a rubbish trip but well done.

Different strokes for different folks. Your path has changed so I guess you need to change your route!

Glad to see you back.

Vinificent

aasharon90

I never played golf, well, just putt putt golf.

However, it wasn't until I entered recovery
when I found myself surrounded by folks in
recovery talking and playing rounds of golf
themselves.

This peaked my interests and decided the best
way to join in in conversation with them was to
watch golf championships on tv and learn the players
and lingo used.

Soooooo, from 1990 to today, I am still hooked
on watching golf on tv and loving it as each yr.
comes a new FedEx champion.

Anyway....

It was taught to me in the very beginning of
my recovery life that I needed to learn how to
remain sober each day incorporating tools and
knowledge of a recovery program on a continuous
bases, then the rest will follow.

No need to get rid of golf for good. Just move
it aside while you build a strong solid recovery
foundation to live your life upon for yrs to come
first. Then if the passion for playing golf is still
in your heart, mind and soul, pick it back up and
enjoy.

If not, then come join in with us who passionately
love gardening. That too is something I picked up
later in life and further down the road in my own
recovery.

Living a life in recovery has many blessings and gifts
to enjoy and appreciate. And if golf is one of them, then
it will be waiting for you once again.

Derringer

I had to give up golf trips and fishing trips for that reason. I can still fish and play golf but just not on those boozy boys weekends where it's more about getting sloshed than the actual activity.

Callas

Thank you for the comments. I have been good friends with the golfing crowd for more than 20 years. Of course there are golfers who don’t drink. They are fine people but other than not drinking and playing golf I have nothing in common with them. With my old friends I share golf, bridge, a world view, sense of humour, lifestyle, interests and hobbies. Also throughout my drinking career they accepted my often outrageous behaviour. Sure it helped that they were also drinkers although not alcoholically. When I told them I was quitting they supported me wholeheartedly even to the extent in the beginning of not drinking in my presence. Clearly this could not continue and I did my best to fit in at parties as the non-drinker. I see this will not work. I do not want to socialise with new people where the only thing in common is not drinking. I will rather not socialise at all.

Mistyscorpio

WaterOx

boy I'm sorry you had to go through that. I remember the feeling. I was somewhere around 6 months sober and my friend invited me to the local town baseball game. I didn't know there would be so much beer there as it was a family event. I was wrong. Every other person had my favorite beer in hand (Racer 5). I excused myself and left after the 3rd inning.

I hate to imagine what it would be like when you're stranded on a trip like that. You're a strong person for making it through that.

least

I'm glad you stayed sober. With more sober time you may be able to tolerate outings a bit more, or find different outings that you enjoy.

NicLin

Glad to have you back on here Callas. I am also glad that you were able to be self aware enough to recognize what does and does not work for you. You are an inspiration!

Finalcall

A huge congrats on your strength and resolve. A week is a long time, and you did it. You should be proud of yourself.

Callas

Thank you all for the support. I guess this is part of the journey. Learning what works and what does not.

Kdon853

When I stopped drinking had figure out what I enjoy doing and what I used as an excuse to drink. I loved golf still do . Play with guys who drink at first I didn’t like that. Now we still play they drink I don’t, doesn’t bother me. Travel t rips I get my own room hang out a little then go to m y room . Worst part is getting everyone’s ass moving the next morning. I do like my friends.

faith823

Hi Callas,
I commend you for staying true to yourself and not picking up a drink.
I been around drinking when I was trying to stay sober and most times
if they did know my history I would drink. It never ended well and most regretful.
I love how you expressed the fact that it is part of your sober journey. I will remember this post when I am in situations similar. To process your actual feelings and how a certain setting situation makes you feel. Protect your sobriety like your life depends on it. Sounds like you are not going to let life and sober fun time pass you by. I am sure you will find a sober past time maybe even golf league to enjoy. All this self discovery and soul searching I am experiencing since committing myself to recovery has been very exhausting but oh so worth it and cathartic
thank you for sharing your experience.

saoutchik

Good to see you Callas, congratulations on 18 months and also for not drinking on a golfing week.

I used to go on a once a year golf trip that took in the Le Mans 24hour motor race too. I found that if I could position my thinking into accepting that there was going to be some alcohol induced boorish behaviour it was actually OK. I quite enjoyed feeling fine for the morning round when some of my playing partners were feeling the night before. I also enjoyed being able to remember it which I was never able to do when I was still drinking. Maybe your friends will ease up on the booze themselves as they age, that is true of some of my normal friends.