Second thoughts
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
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Second thoughts
Today has been frustrating. Parents are starting to drive me insane.
They treat me like I am two years old. I know me being here is a big inconvenience. I am really considering not giving up my place and just
getting sober. This is great for temporary. I do not see it working out in the long run. If I give this place up I will never find another opportunity to move on from here. I want a job/my own place and work on my sobriety. I hate them watching my every move and being vocal about really ridiculous things.
They treat me like I am two years old. I know me being here is a big inconvenience. I am really considering not giving up my place and just
getting sober. This is great for temporary. I do not see it working out in the long run. If I give this place up I will never find another opportunity to move on from here. I want a job/my own place and work on my sobriety. I hate them watching my every move and being vocal about really ridiculous things.
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Location: Norfolk, VA
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I am sorry you are feeling frustrated. But think a moment about how you got to where you are right now (your drinking) and how your folks took you in. They could have said, "No way. We're done. Suffer the consequences of your action."
But they didn't. So perhaps a granule of gratitude might temper your frustration.
But they didn't. So perhaps a granule of gratitude might temper your frustration.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
There's always two schools of thought on this - one the one hand it's good to be independent, and on the other it's good to be in a place where your recovery is supported.
How will you make ends meet if you go back to your place? rent utilities food? what will you do if you're bored/sad/angry/there?
My advice is weigh everything up and pick the the one that's best for your recovery.
I know its very hard to move back in with your folks. I did that once.
It was horrible LOL - but not agonizing... but I was sober for however long it was I stayed there.
Thats a fear, not a fact 
D
How will you make ends meet if you go back to your place? rent utilities food? what will you do if you're bored/sad/angry/there?
My advice is weigh everything up and pick the the one that's best for your recovery.
I know its very hard to move back in with your folks. I did that once.
It was horrible LOL - but not agonizing... but I was sober for however long it was I stayed there.
If I give this place up I will never find another opportunity to move on from here.
D
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
I am sorry you are feeling frustrated. But think a moment about how you got to where you are right now (your drinking) and how your folks took you in. They could have said, "No way. We're done. Suffer the consequences of your action."
But they didn't. So perhaps a granule of gratitude might temper your frustration.
But they didn't. So perhaps a granule of gratitude might temper your frustration.
Like I am at a crossroads. I went to the Dr's yesterday and they put me back on a SSRI . My body took to the medication first day. I noticed today a much different demeanor -flat but not anxious ,no tears. No gift of desperation compassion dull. I feel content and a sense of well being. But feel disconnected spiritually if that makes sense. The last two weeks I have been entranced in the meetings. I identifying , crying and yearning for the message. Today the speaker was very powerful. My mind kept drifting off during the meeting to what I should have for dinner.
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Location: Boston MA
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Originally Posted by Dee74
There's always two schools of thought on this - one the one hand it's good to be independent, and on the other it's good to be in a place where your recovery is supported.
How will you make ends meet if you go back to your place? rent utilities food? what will you do if you're bored/sad/angry/there?
My advice is weigh everything up and pick the the one that's best for your recovery.
I know its very hard to move back in with your folks. I did that once.
It was horrible LOL - but not agonizing... but I was sober for however long it was I stayed there.
Thats a fear, not a fact
D
How will you make ends meet if you go back to your place? rent utilities food? what will you do if you're bored/sad/angry/there?
My advice is weigh everything up and pick the the one that's best for your recovery.
I know its very hard to move back in with your folks. I did that once.
It was horrible LOL - but not agonizing... but I was sober for however long it was I stayed there.
Thats a fear, not a fact
D
and no job. I would have to dive right in on the job search.
It would have to be a full time job that has to meet a certain salary expectation. Cost of living in Boston is high.
My field Salaries have a wide range and require you to work from home.
Which in itself I find challenging.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Personally, when I was early in recovery I felt like a child learning (re) how to live. I still had my own house and job,ECT..but I wasn't 'all there' mentally and had to be cautious about making big decisions. I didn't know what was 'right' and what was my AV steering my decision. That came back in time. Is your apartment even paid up for the month? I know you mentioned not being able to pay Nov rent previously.
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Location: Boston MA
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Originally Posted by DontRemember
Personally, when I was early in recovery I felt like a child learning (re) how to live. I still had my own house and job,ECT..but I wasn't 'all there' mentally and had to be cautious about making big decisions. I didn't know what was 'right' and what was my AV steering my decision. That came back in time. Is your apartment even paid up for the month? I know you mentioned not being able to pay Nov rent previously.
Yes it is paid up for November as of now. To my final paycheck from the last job I just lost will barely covered it. I originally was not sure what that amount would be.
The lease ends on the 12/30 so I do have one more month of rent to worry about. But I am blessed its not two months any longer.
I agree I am not there mentally. I have also gotten time before and when things fall back into place my disease loves it!!!!!! Repeat...Then I lose everything again . Cry , whine, and another piece of my soul dies.
Maybe it would be a good thing to be uncomfortable , humble and worry about getting Sober. I am nervous because I can obtain time it is just keeping it. I can also drink just as easily here as in my own place.
I did notice I am on day 12 and it feels like 12 years ...difference is it is quality sober time. Lots of recovery and lots of soul searching.
as opposed to when I am just coasting -FOR ME ANYHOW goes by much quicker than when digging into your feelings and getting your head out of denial.
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Faith, Day 12 is great! Be proud of how far you've come.
It sounds like you have a tough decision about your living arrangements. But, you don't have to decide today. It's normal for your mood and outlook on life to change frequently in early recovery, so just try to weigh the pros and cons and come up with the best choice for you.
It sounds like you have a tough decision about your living arrangements. But, you don't have to decide today. It's normal for your mood and outlook on life to change frequently in early recovery, so just try to weigh the pros and cons and come up with the best choice for you.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by faith823
Hi,
Yes it is paid up for November as of now. To my final paycheck from the last job I just lost will barely covered it. I originally was not sure what that amount would be.
The lease ends on the 12/30 so I do have one more month of rent to worry about. But I am blessed its not two months any longer.
I agree I am not there mentally. I have also gotten time before and when things fall back into place my disease loves it!!!!!! Repeat...Then I lose everything again . Cry , whine, and another piece of my soul dies.
Maybe it would be a good thing to be uncomfortable , humble and worry about getting Sober. I am nervous because I can obtain time it is just keeping it. I can also drink just as easily here as in my own place.
I did notice I am on day 12 and it feels like 12 years ...difference is it is quality sober time. Lots of recovery and lots of soul searching.
as opposed to when I am just coasting -FOR ME ANYHOW goes by much quicker than when digging into your feelings and getting your head out of denial.
Yes it is paid up for November as of now. To my final paycheck from the last job I just lost will barely covered it. I originally was not sure what that amount would be.
The lease ends on the 12/30 so I do have one more month of rent to worry about. But I am blessed its not two months any longer.
I agree I am not there mentally. I have also gotten time before and when things fall back into place my disease loves it!!!!!! Repeat...Then I lose everything again . Cry , whine, and another piece of my soul dies.
Maybe it would be a good thing to be uncomfortable , humble and worry about getting Sober. I am nervous because I can obtain time it is just keeping it. I can also drink just as easily here as in my own place.
I did notice I am on day 12 and it feels like 12 years ...difference is it is quality sober time. Lots of recovery and lots of soul searching.
as opposed to when I am just coasting -FOR ME ANYHOW goes by much quicker than when digging into your feelings and getting your head out of denial.
Edit: accountability was a huge factor for me in early recovery. Be it, my young adult daughter, people at my court ordered AA meetings, business partners,ECT.. it was a good thing for me to held accountable if/when I thought about having 'a couple'.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
You guys rock! Thanks for all the input. I am not going to decide anything tonight. I think in time things will be more clear. I am so grateful for all the support. I am very grateful that I am alcohol free and had no desire to drink today.
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