Rock Bottom
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 230
Rock Bottom
words cannot describe how low I feel today. I decided to have a couple of beers and ended up walking home 7 am from a bender.
i feel sick physically and emotionally. Now I know I can’t drink alcohol again.
i feel sick physically and emotionally. Now I know I can’t drink alcohol again.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,717
Get some rest and when you feel better make a plan.
Everyone begins somewhere and your recovery begins today. Drinking is no longer an option for whatever reason. Time to face the fact that alcohol destroys you and it is no way to live.
You have a future but not with alcohol.
Keep moving forward.
Your best days are yet to come! The past is the past. Learn from it.
Everyone begins somewhere and your recovery begins today. Drinking is no longer an option for whatever reason. Time to face the fact that alcohol destroys you and it is no way to live.
You have a future but not with alcohol.
Keep moving forward.
Your best days are yet to come! The past is the past. Learn from it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
Yup - I remember that walk too. Glad you checked in. Drink water - get rest. You attempted what so many of us did too before we finally accepted the fact that we cannot drink alcohol.....no matter what. Keep checking in daily to SR.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Stable 
...Now I know I can’t drink alcohol again.
How about backing up your pronouncement with some sort of action that will support sobriety. Seriously, Stable, you need help to kick this. You are not managing it on your own.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
You've been at this point a lot the last few threads Stable.
If you really want change (and I believe you do) then it's time to let all your actions choices and decisions sincerely and consistently reflect that desire.
How are you going to get sober and stay that way, man?
Like Carl suggests maybe its time to stop trying to do this alone?
D
If you really want change (and I believe you do) then it's time to let all your actions choices and decisions sincerely and consistently reflect that desire.
How are you going to get sober and stay that way, man?
Like Carl suggests maybe its time to stop trying to do this alone?
D
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
That feeling is the reality of alcohol addiction. Let it sink in. Then use it to your advantage. I would have full-blown cravings for 3 hours a night between 7 and 10. I would sit in the bathtub basically rocking back and forth for the first month. Every time my mind try and get me to go buy alcohol I would pull that feeling from deep inside my soul and hold it until the craving subsided. Then about a minute later a new craving would come and I'd do the same thing. I learned to associate alcohol with pain instead of believing in the story.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 230
I have spoken to some of my contacts today in AA. I feel such terrible emotions after a binge.
All I can do today is use the pain of this rock bottom as motivation to really try to make sobriety stick this time.
That decision to lift the first drink in August has cost me badly. Please anyone out there thinking of drinking please look what has happened to me and do not do it.
All I can do today is use the pain of this rock bottom as motivation to really try to make sobriety stick this time.
That decision to lift the first drink in August has cost me badly. Please anyone out there thinking of drinking please look what has happened to me and do not do it.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Originally Posted by Stable
I have spoken to some of my contacts today in AA. I feel such terrible emotions after a binge.
All I can do today is use the pain of this rock bottom as motivation to really try to make sobriety stick this time.
That decision to lift the first drink in August has cost me badly. Please anyone out there thinking of drinking please look what has happened to me and do not do it.
All I can do today is use the pain of this rock bottom as motivation to really try to make sobriety stick this time.
That decision to lift the first drink in August has cost me badly. Please anyone out there thinking of drinking please look what has happened to me and do not do it.
You really do sound "done" to me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Alcohol didn't do anything to me, it was my choices that did me in. Alcohol was just being alcohol. My choices concerning alcohol were horrendous.
By putting down the bottle, I learned to make better choices. One of those choices was to reach out for help from people that had been where I was. Another choice was to follow the suggestions from those people who had been where I was.
My choices concerning alcohol may have been horrendous, but they led me to the life I have today. My life today is what I was seeking all along, long before I picked up my first drink.
My past choices don't define me, but the results from any choices going forward fall strictly on me. I value my life today and so I pay careful attention to choices I make and the actions I take as a result of those choices.
Three frogs are sitting on a log. One decides to jump off. How many frogs are sitting on the log. Three. One made a choice, but didn't take any action.
By putting down the bottle, I learned to make better choices. One of those choices was to reach out for help from people that had been where I was. Another choice was to follow the suggestions from those people who had been where I was.
My choices concerning alcohol may have been horrendous, but they led me to the life I have today. My life today is what I was seeking all along, long before I picked up my first drink.
My past choices don't define me, but the results from any choices going forward fall strictly on me. I value my life today and so I pay careful attention to choices I make and the actions I take as a result of those choices.
Three frogs are sitting on a log. One decides to jump off. How many frogs are sitting on the log. Three. One made a choice, but didn't take any action.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Originally Posted by Stable
I am done well and truly done. I hate alcohol what it has done to me and others.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Stable,
I posted a thread the other day that summarized som of my past day one posts. I joined SR in March of 2012, I had my last drink on December 31, 2015.
The thing that helped me make it my final day one was approaching recovery through the lens of becoming mentally and physically healthy. The first thing was alcohol was not an option, no matter how good, bad or ugly the day had been. I needed to establish new healthier coping mechanisms. I started by logging and reading on here several times a day, I made an appointment with a counselor and talked about my anxiety and a healthier way to treat it. I do have medication that I can take for times that I am feeling extremely anxious, and That is the only time I take it. I read lots of books about recovery, and saw myself in each of the stories, I reflected in what each of the authors did to finally get sober, there is a thread on here about recovery books, you may want to check one or two out. I make it a point to go for a walk outdoors every day, the combination of being in nature and exercise really helps. One of the things that has helped me the most is mindfulness. I work really hard to remain in the present moment. I cannot change my past, I can only learn from it, and worrying about the “mights and ifs” only causes stress in the present moment. There are tons of videos and articles online that can help you work on this. It is a really great skill in early recovery because you remain focused on making positive choices in the current moment in time. Finally, looking at life through a lens of gratitude has been the most helpful thing of all. You can make a list today of all you are grateful for. It can be as simple as having an hour of sobriety and the support of the amazing people on SR.
You can do this. It is simple, but not easy. I am so excited for you to start building back that sober time.
❤️Delilah
I posted a thread the other day that summarized som of my past day one posts. I joined SR in March of 2012, I had my last drink on December 31, 2015.
The thing that helped me make it my final day one was approaching recovery through the lens of becoming mentally and physically healthy. The first thing was alcohol was not an option, no matter how good, bad or ugly the day had been. I needed to establish new healthier coping mechanisms. I started by logging and reading on here several times a day, I made an appointment with a counselor and talked about my anxiety and a healthier way to treat it. I do have medication that I can take for times that I am feeling extremely anxious, and That is the only time I take it. I read lots of books about recovery, and saw myself in each of the stories, I reflected in what each of the authors did to finally get sober, there is a thread on here about recovery books, you may want to check one or two out. I make it a point to go for a walk outdoors every day, the combination of being in nature and exercise really helps. One of the things that has helped me the most is mindfulness. I work really hard to remain in the present moment. I cannot change my past, I can only learn from it, and worrying about the “mights and ifs” only causes stress in the present moment. There are tons of videos and articles online that can help you work on this. It is a really great skill in early recovery because you remain focused on making positive choices in the current moment in time. Finally, looking at life through a lens of gratitude has been the most helpful thing of all. You can make a list today of all you are grateful for. It can be as simple as having an hour of sobriety and the support of the amazing people on SR.
You can do this. It is simple, but not easy. I am so excited for you to start building back that sober time.
❤️Delilah
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 230
Thanks all. I have been in contact with Alcoholics Anonymous contacts today.
i find AA very challenging and don’t understand how attending meetings miraculously gets you sober?
I will attend a meeting this week.
i find AA very challenging and don’t understand how attending meetings miraculously gets you sober?
I will attend a meeting this week.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Stable
i find AA very challenging and don’t understand how attending meetings miraculously gets you sober?
The Big Book of AA is available online. Search for it and read it.
Oh, and AA won't miraculously get you sober.
Hard work on your recovery will.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Originally Posted by Stable
Thanks all. I have been in contact with Alcoholics Anonymous contacts today.
i find AA very challenging and don’t understand how attending meetings miraculously gets you sober?
I will attend a meeting this week.
i find AA very challenging and don’t understand how attending meetings miraculously gets you sober?
I will attend a meeting this week.
SO much to unpack in this, but I’ll take a quick cut at it. Please don’t take offense, but you sound like a typical alcoholic. YOU don’t know how you can “miraculously get sober”?? Of course you don’t know! You’re the one that can’t stop drinking. You’re the one coming off of a bender. You’re the one that is at “rock bottom”. The only we know how to do is get drunk. We know nothing of how live on life’s terms. How to move through the world with the understanding that we don’t control a damn thing in it.
AA and meetings teach us how to live sober. Going to meetings puts you in intimate contact with people that did not know how to live in the world. People that once thought the only solution was to medicate. People that have recovered.
If you think that you need to understand how AA works, why meetings are important, why the people in the rooms matter and why the program is miraculous BEFORE you walk in the door, then you’ve been misinformed. My sponsor used to tell me to, “sit down and shut up”, because I “didn’t know shit”. I was so offended. I knew a lot, I was a successful engineer with a lot of money, a wife and three great kids.
I THOUGHT I knew a lot. Fact is, I didn’t know ****. I knew how to live a life that I had conceived with the help of my out of control ego. I barely know more today. But one thing I know is that when I try to use my willpower to quit, or hideout from the world while I figure out how to quit, I end up drunk and demoralized. When I go to meetings and work with other alcoholics, I stay sober.
So how does it miraculously keep me sober? Hell, I don’t know. And no one ever told me that I have to know. All I know is that I’ve been sober 95 out of the last 98 days and for 30 days straight and that’s a good enough for me to keep going.
And what’s this about going this week? Are you at rock bottom or not? Do you admit you can’t do this alone or not? Get to a meeting tonight. Walk in the doors with an open mind. Don’t look for where the program is wrong, or how you would make it better. Humble yourself. Admit that you don’t have a darn clue on how to stay sober. Stick your hand out and introduce yourself. Tell people you need help. And then wait on the miracle. You’ll be happy you did.
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