AAPJ

WJ - Sorry to hear of your struggles. Perhaps selling the car was not a bad idea. Some folks here suggested that if you just quit drinking you don't need to lose the car. But I recall that you have tried w/o success and while I am glad I no longer wake up every day telling myself today is day 1 and then it's not. This went on for a long time for me. I realize for some of us it can be incredibly difficult to put down the bottle. I would rather you sell the car than drink and drive.

I recall that you were going to AA. May I make a suggestion? Go back. And if you can - ask for anyone who considers themselves to be a non-social introvert to say hello to you after the meeting. I wish I could introduce you to my friend Dan from my home group. He's a lot like you. I think he could help you in ways I could not begin to. I am sure there are more Dan's out there in AA but they usually don't say much and are hard to find unless you go to a lot of meetings for a while.

Wish you the best.

Dee74

Hi whitejay

whatever you've done in the past there's a great chance we've done the same or worse.

you're amongst friends here - we understand

I used to cry too and I'd think to myself that I'd tried everything to stop drinking...but I really hadn't tried much more than willpower....and the problem with that was part of my will didn't want to stop drinking.

In the end I had to totally change my life because mt old life was all about drinking.

Think about everything you could possibly do to find support - from inpatient rehab down to seeing a doctor or going to a meeting based group like AA SMART or lifering - and other things like SR, reading a book like Annie Graces, seeing an addiction counsellor.

Think about everything you could change in your life to better reflect your desire to be sober, Think about your social life, what you do for fun, how you solve problems, deal with stress. Ho might you tackle those things without drinking.

write it all down big or small.

When you have the list strike off the things you're not prepared to do just yet. Whats left is the makings of a recovery plan

D

Misssy2

I look at it this way...I had developed a very deadly "habit"...my daily routine revolved around alcohol....and it wasn't going to change on its own.

I prayed for the obsession to be removed...it was not.
I cried to others to help me stop...it didn't happen.
I quit my job thinking my life would be less stressful and I had more time to drink.
I isolated people from my life because I felt they caused me to drink...and I still drank.
It took me getting sick of being sick.....sick of being scared....sick of chasing alcohol all day long looking for the escape from myself...I got sick of throwing up while brushing my teeth...and sick of looking in the mirror at my disheveled self. Finally I realized if I didn't CHANGE SOMETHING....I was going to die.

You said you "will die" and I believe you when you say that....I feel like you sound ready to quit but you have not decided to start the battle...it is a battle for the first week or so then it gets easier....You CAN quit....but you have to DECIDE you are quitting and change those daily routines....do anything but don't drink....Until you decide you will stay stuck.

I pray that you find the strength to decide....you are worth it...and the way you will feel in just a short time....is amazing....Don't give up on yourself.....ever.

You have to make a conscious decision that ITS time and MAKE it time. Before there is no more time

BeABetterMan

BeABetterMan

August252015

THAT. Everything else is secondary. Even prayers for intercession.

daisy1

I got rid of my car too, six months later I have another one and it's so nice being confident that I (hopefully) won't kill anyone!

Gabe1980

I'm 39 and I never learned to drive. I was too scared I'd be out there driving around in a blackout. I'm about to start learning early next year - I decided that part of committing to this is achieving things that alcohol took from me.

I believe you can do this and I think with the right support that you can achieve what you want. I really do. It just takes baby steps and having the right support

ShiftHappens

It wasn't until I went through so much misery still trying to get "relief" or escape from some alcohol and realizing the "relief" it promised in the beginning was never ever coming again that I realized how stupid I was for even TRYING to get respite from a bottle and it wouldn't work.

Alcohol to me is the equivalent of drinking bleach or laundry detergent. Disgusting and unappealing.

I honestly dont know if I finally just "got it" or if the anti D's are helping or what.

It can be done.

I too had gotten to the point where I was waiting for the convenience store to open at 7 am because I "needed one" like so many others.

i also think the alcohol had finally made me more miserable than I was without it.

A trip to the doctor and being grateful I no longer think of drinking at all is working for me so far.

Oh, and I DO drive. Dont know if I was legally drunk, but I remember the shakes and knowing I was not well on those 7 am runs.

Im 55, have never had a DUI and I knew it was time to ground myself and make changes.

Im not that person. But the alcohol was turning me into that person.

Thankful

whitejay

Misssy2 your right about making time because soon there will be no more time....

Day 2 *** I tried to eat around 2pm, its hard.
Tired still and horrible headache; but all day I have been reading SR and Depression forum one of the stickies suggested. Good stuff in both.
I'm finally realizing my lifetime depression is way worse than I realized * drinking kept me "not thinking" about it.
I am going to focus on both . I need to find good doctors. That makes a world of difference IMO

Your words of support, encouragement and raw truth has blessed me.

Thank you my friends.
🎁🎃

Anna

Whitejay, I think you will start to feel better in a day or so. Try to eat something, and especially make sure you stay hydrated. Alcohol is a depressant and it could be that you begin to feel better as your body detoxes. If not, then maybe you could consider talking to your doctor about your depression.

ShiftHappens

I'd just like to add it may s*ck for awhile.

Your depressed mind and body will need TIME, care and attention.

I guess Im trying to say you should not allow this to discourage you into drinking.

Patience, time and maybe a doctors intervention with some meds for awhile.

One day you will wake up and just "wow, I actually feel a bit better" and you just start going with that momentum.

it felt like forever, but two months taking the RIGHT meds completely turned me around.

And I was a hot mess.

ShiftHappens

Oh, and I cut the irritants out of my life. Especially people that no matter how well meaning were not helping, just upsetting me.

I spent time taking care of myself emotionally and doing what was best for ME.