Pouncer

I just want to jump in here and say this may not be the most empathetic response. OP is struggling and needs our support- no matter how they decide to stay sober.

Pouncer

Hope,

No matter what method you find, sobriety is personal and it needs to make sense to you in order for you to benefit.

I really understand what you mean by “acceptance.” It is one thing to know you are an alcoholic, but to accept it...that’s difficult. In my experience, acceptance is empowering because it allows you to move on.

Getting sober alone is incredibly difficult. Dee says often that SR saved his life and I believe it. I can accept I am alcoholic and that it will kill me if I don’t stop.

Best wishes and congratulations on 3 weeks. That’s super.

Hope1989

Hello everyone.

Thank you very much for your responses.

I can see some of you got offended because of my post. I won't emphasize on this. I'll just repeat and say that I am talking regarding my opinion and my very own personal experience.

Other than that, there have been a lot of valuable tips on how I can proceed and try to find long term sobriety.

Have a great Friday!

August252015

Hope- I smiled at your OP and this last post - anytime we use "AA" in a subject heading it gets people riled up. Other than the fact that I was a stubbornly insane alcoholic when "AA" infuriated me, I am mystified that people get so mad about the whole thing. I'm glad you are sharing.

Eddiebuckle

Personally, I wanted nothing to do with AA. The thought of drinking bad coffee in church basements whining about my existence for the rest of my days wasn't terribly compelling.

However, within 24 hours of coming home from rehab I realized that I still wanted to drink. Having nowhere else to go, I went to a meeting. That was February 2010, and more than merely not having had a drink since then, my life has changed for the better in every respect.

Is AA the only way to get and stay sober? No. But regardless what path you take on the journey, if I have learned anything about sobriety it is this:

ACTIVE ADDICTION WILL NOT SUCCUMB TO PASSIVE RECOVERY.

Walk your path of recovery like your life depends on it, because it does.

DriGuy

Celebration recovery! Wow, I didn't know there was a name for it. I thought maybe it was just something I discovered. It's good to know that it works for others too. I first looked at celebration as a symptom of sobriety, but then I realized it was part of a feedback loop that perpetuated sobriety, so it's not just a symptom but also a cause. Should we put that in the plan too? That was a rhetorical question; I'm putting it in the plan as a unilateral decision.

AAPJ

I think Eddie sumed it up very well. I did restate it w/o all caps because it just seems to me that the truth of this statement is so powerful that all caps is not needed.

Anyway, I am an active AAer. I'm no August (that's a complement to her) but I attend meetings, call other drunks and try to meet with my sponsor at least once a week.

I certainly think that some folks use the "AA is not for me" as an excuse to not commit to recovery. On the other hand I see folks on this forum who have achieved long term sobriety w/o the use of AA. So clearly other paths can work. I think is that no matter which path one takes to get and stay sober it will involve work and for most of us it's going to involve some uncomfortableness to succeed. There is no easy path to recovery.

Personally I really don't care one bit which path one chooses. To me AA works best as a program of attraction.

boreas

IMO, anyone can stop drinking. The key is how to stay that way, which for me means a shift in lifestyle, mind, and spirit.

I did not accomplish that shift through AA participation, as the social aspect is difficult for me, but I think it is a solid plan that can be used to achieve the change required. There are other ways as well.

I believe awareness/acceptance is a moot point, as sobriety over time is required to develop that new mindset. As I healed, the need and desire for continued healing became clear. IMO, sobriety has its own momentum if it involves a change in these 3 critical areas.

Best wishes as you find your way,
-bora

August252015

Wow, AAPJ - I don't know what to say. Thank you. I am no paragon of [anything] but I do work hard at life, by which I mean I put every effort into it.

And this thread reminds me of how adamant I was that AA wouldn't work...which I finally admitted was ONLY because I wanted to keep drinking and [obvious second part] not have to deal with the consequences.

I also need info and people who don't do AA. The only "issue" I have is contempt prior to investigation, for anything, and of course need to check that in myself too. My restaurant industry recovery life keeps me leading with both ESH of my own and openness to all that is out there. Which, thankfully, is so much more than 'back in the day' when AA was pretty much it.

Thanks again AAPJ- happy Fri to all
A

Ghostlight1

If you're speaking of me, I wish to sincerely apologize.
Sometimes my posts don't come out the way I'd like them to. It's different for me to post online than to say it in person.
So if I offended you, again, I didn't mean to and I'm sorry.

newhope01

least

I went to AA for the first year of my recovery but found too many members there who 'rubbed me the wrong way'. So I stopped going, but stayed sober. Coming up on 10 yrs now.

What keeps me sober is wanting to be sober more than I want to drink.

August252015

^^^and gratitude, least! You have gotten that one word mantra into my head more than anyone. Sometimes, I just make a random list of the first 5 things that come to mind that I am grateful for....it's especially handy in the car or when I can't fall asleep

CupofJoe

I think what I struggled with was accepting that
a. I had a problem.
b. I had to do something about it. (I had a hard time staying quit.)
c. Doing something about my addiction was profoundly uncomfortable in many, many ways.

I did end up getting sober through AA, although I haven't been to a meeting in a while. I also tried SMART, Rational Recovery, Life Ring, posting online, therapy, acupuncture, changing my diet, fasting. Nothing worked until I fully committed to see it through no matter how uncomfortable being sober was.

I still use things I learned through trying each path. I try to keep an open mind about everything.

I am forever grateful to AA for helping me get sober. I'd recommend it to anyone. That being said, I know people who got sober through the other means and I would not hesitate to recommend trying everything and giving it your all and see what helps. I'm glad there are different paths to sobriety and people can find what suits their needs best. But making a commitment is key.

Also, I think the underlying key to all the paths is that we have to admit that we can't drink. Without accepting that basic fact, recovery can't really stick since there will always be the lingering hope that maybe I can "try one or two" again. And the wound will be reopened.

I hope you find happy and lasting sobriety.

Sohard

least

Don't know how I forgot to mention that...