Mags1

Forwards congratulations on 300 days.

Kaily great photo’s, it looks like a summers day. Nice to see the sun out.

harriet, did you press User CP on the left at the top on the black bar. That will take you to your profile and you can change things in there

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/usercp.php

harriet11

I couldn't see for looking

Canadian Koala

Tadam Harriet, you found it!
The "None" is gone

Congrats on 300 days Forwards!

harriet11

Oh dear, can't find it without the link you've given me.
If I click on my name it takes me to a page with my name there and my posts and some black bars but none of the black bars says user cp . I just can't find it

andyh

eugh, clocks have gone back & it's dark at 5pm if I had my way we'd be GMT+1 in winter & GMT+2 in summer.

plus I have to go back to work tomorrow after two weeks' leave. ho hum - chop wood, carry water as Bim would say.

on the upside it was a lovely clear Autumn day today (if a bit brass monkey weather) & I was sober to enjoy it.

harriet11

Oh I've found it again

harriet11

Hi Andy, yes awful dark evenings and they'll get darker too. Never mind by Christmas the days will start to get longer yay

Rose335

Kaily - you were right in your forecast, really lovely day. So nice to finally see/feel the beauty of autumn without any rain. Spent a lot of today walking, especially in Regents Park. Great photos. Are they the Regents Canal? And if so, which bit?

Forwards - I'd like to add my congratulations for your 300 days. Impressive.

I too don't much care for the new early dark nights.

Kaily

Rose it was Lee Valley country park in Waltham Abbey. The weather was so lovely, it really cheered me up. I am glad you got out and about as well.

Forwards well done on 300 days. Brilliant.

saoutchik

Well done on the new job MantaLady! That was quick.

Great pics Kaily, it looks a gorgeous spot in that weather.

I was stuck indoors again doing my floor. All the insulation work is done but I still need to put the actual floor back. It is a longer job than I anticipated.

Congratulations on 300 days Forwards

Rose335

Well it's looks truly lovely. I've just looked it up and I am definitely going to plan a visit. Who knew there was so much to do in Lee Valley. And it's easy to get to which, I hadn't realised. Need to get out of Camden a bit more!

SnoozyQ

Hi weekenders xxx

Will see my psychologist Friday. She knew Claire first as it was Claire who put me onto her.
Ive spoken to Claires Youngest daughterand it hasnt really hit her yet. I feel for those 3 girls.
But mostly 4 james, claires eldest son who has schizophrenia, it was haunting her about what was going to become of him . She said noone will love him like she does.

She has organised a years worth of groceries to be delivered to his flat once a week. Then Rachel, her eldest daughter who lives in queensland, will take over.

Im feeling better today after the drought broke yesterday, it really hit me & like you said PJ , im looking after myself .
I will stay sober eat well, stay hydrated and check in here .

I do have an annoyance though.
I have so many people who were mutual friends who ive asked to come visit Claire in the past year. . She would have loved the visit , but made excuses. It really hurt her.

Now these people are the first to ring and want to come to her funeral with me.
Im sorta angry because, its like hey, youve had a year when she would live to have seen you, now you want to come to her funeral with me.
6 people so far.
Im sad and miffed

If you couldnt take 5 minutes of your time to see her in the past year why would you even come to her funeral, i just dont get it ????

Like Mags tried to explain to me , not everyone is comfortable dealing with death. They will avoid it as they dont know what to say or do.... But Mags heart is so big she would defend an axe murderer

Id really like some thoughts on this as i just dont get it. Thats when yourcfriends need you most, when you are dying.

Im off now to my addiction doc to help keep me on track with my plan xx

Xx love to you all xx

PhoenixJ

I posted something on the'13 thread, Wend.

STDragon

I don't have an answer for you snoozy but your post did prompt me to go off and do some reading on the subject and ponder for awhile. My wife has had several close people pass and she visited them regularly. My only experience was my mom, and that was sort of a given that I must be there. But not until after she passed did I realize how little I was actually involved. I felt guilty about that and still do sometimes. I imagine that at least some of Clair's old friends feel guilty in some way. You were a good friend to her.

Dee74

Harriet if you go to full view or desktop view there's a big black toolbar that runs across the top of the page.

USER CP is on the extreme left of that toolbar.

You may be able to get to USER CP on some of the mobile phone styles by clicking on the 3 horizontal black lines thingy (menu) but I'm not sure which styles allow that.

D

Kaily

Morning all

Snoozy I don't think anyone really knows what the right thing to do is when someone is dying. When the funeral comes along people want to say goodbye and probably feel guilty for not doing more when the person was alive. It is full of complicated feelings and emotions.

Try and look on it as a positive that lots of people want to attend Claire's funeral. People generally mean well but also get things wrong especially at difficult times. This is said and mean't with the greatest empathy.

Yes Rose it is a lovely place to visit.

I am still on the other clock at the mo. I went to bed at 8.30 and up at 5. Can just see the sun coming up now.

Mags1

Morning Weekenders

Snoozy, sending hugs love. ’s. A difficult time for you but concentrate on you.

Cold outside this morning, no sun yet but I can see it trying to get through the cloud.

Have a good Monday xx

saoutchik

I agree with you Snoozy, if they want to be there for the funeral why could they not have visited her while she was alive? It's what friends do.

harriet11

Thanks Dee, I finally figured out how to get there without the link!

harriet11

Hi snoozy, this is such a difficult and sad time for you but it's good to hear how well you are actually coping with it.

If a person can't face seeing a person when they're dying that's fine that's their limitation, but they can't really expect to be invited to the funeral.

I remember a few years back when my father was dying, I'd burst into tears when it had really hit me but when I went to his bedside I was struck dumb. I just couldn't speak. He actually said to me, " you don't know what to say do you?". I still didn't say anything, just gave some sort of pathetic smile. I did get him home for the end I'm glad to say, and even though I didn't say much, I was there with him.

When my father in law was dying my mother in law who loved him wouldn't go into the bedroom to see him, she couldn't face it.

​​people can be hard to cope with and accept

I hope you continue to have strength and to cope so well