Just passed 4 months
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Just passed 4 months
Things are going well, although I have been suffering with stress type headaches for a month or so now. They aren't painful enough to need painkillers, it's like my head is in a vice, so I assume they are potentially because of stress. Although I don't feel particularly stressed, so I don't know. I just don't feel totally myself, but I am sure it will pass. At least I know it's not caused by alcohol!! It may be because of a neck strain I did to myself in the gym...just not sure. I don't feel it warrants a Dr visit anyway.
I am going through a bit of a big change in my life at the moment. I am starting a new job in a few weeks. The last time I held down a proper job for someone else was a few years ago, and my life was unraveling. I was drinking in the mornings just to make it to work, and drinking throughout the day too. So I am kind of mentally a bit scarred from being employed by someone else. SO this is a big step. I have obviously been working the last few years, but with family so it kind of doesn't count as much, as it's been quite easy. Which has been good as it allowed me to focus on my recovery.
I know for sure I wouldn't have the confidence to take this step back into gainful employment if I was still drinking like I was two years ago. I was too scared to even leave the house back then.
I've been quite fortunate to land myself a very good job with good pay, and life seems to be really moving in the right direction and everything looks positive. I go to the gym five times a week, eat well, and have begun exploring meditation. I am working the steps once a week with my sponsor.
That said I do still struggle at times, but it's got much easier. I went out last night to a bar for a date and really had a bad anxiety attack. Not sure why, but I was eyeing up the bar thinking a drink would make me feel better. I never seriously considered having a drink, but it was certainly at the forefront of my mind for 15 minutes or so. I guess I could call it a strong craving which came out of nowhere, and perhaps the date and social setting was a trigger for me.
I started to feel better after a while, and by the time I took the train home I was back to normal and looking forward to a cup of tea.
I know if I was to start drinking again, things would likely fall apart sooner or later, so I remain vigilant.
Hope everyone is well.
I am going through a bit of a big change in my life at the moment. I am starting a new job in a few weeks. The last time I held down a proper job for someone else was a few years ago, and my life was unraveling. I was drinking in the mornings just to make it to work, and drinking throughout the day too. So I am kind of mentally a bit scarred from being employed by someone else. SO this is a big step. I have obviously been working the last few years, but with family so it kind of doesn't count as much, as it's been quite easy. Which has been good as it allowed me to focus on my recovery.
I know for sure I wouldn't have the confidence to take this step back into gainful employment if I was still drinking like I was two years ago. I was too scared to even leave the house back then.
I've been quite fortunate to land myself a very good job with good pay, and life seems to be really moving in the right direction and everything looks positive. I go to the gym five times a week, eat well, and have begun exploring meditation. I am working the steps once a week with my sponsor.
That said I do still struggle at times, but it's got much easier. I went out last night to a bar for a date and really had a bad anxiety attack. Not sure why, but I was eyeing up the bar thinking a drink would make me feel better. I never seriously considered having a drink, but it was certainly at the forefront of my mind for 15 minutes or so. I guess I could call it a strong craving which came out of nowhere, and perhaps the date and social setting was a trigger for me.
I started to feel better after a while, and by the time I took the train home I was back to normal and looking forward to a cup of tea.
I know if I was to start drinking again, things would likely fall apart sooner or later, so I remain vigilant.
Hope everyone is well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Good to hear your great update regarding your new job. For your sake, don’t risk destroying it by drinking again. It’s absolutely possible not to drink, by utilising the plan, tool, method, program, technique, SR, that resonates with you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Congrats on 4 months Primativo - wasn't dating problematic for you last time tho - being in bars etc? do you think you have a handle on that now? 
D
D
Yeah I think so. I think my anxiety actually stems more from heading out of the house and traveling into town for example. I seem to suffer with this type of anxiety, and the drink was something I relied on to take that anxiety away.
As soon as I left the bar to head home I felt fine! I get the same issue if I am driving away from home, it seems to be a type of agoraphobia and it's something I suffered from since my teens.
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