eve123

SoberRican

Whoa whoa. Calm down there partner. Deep breath... Aaaah. Ok no worries starting now . no sauce. Water.rest. light meal if can soup broth whatever. Rest. Thats it. Take it one day.hour at a time if need be. You can do this. Stick around here. You be aight. ✌

eve123

Dee74

Hi Eve

I tried for a long time too -= gradually I realised I'd only think about not drinking after I'd drink again and was ill or had made a fool of myself...

what I needed to so was think about not drinking when I wasn't drinking and use that time to come up with a plan - to plan ahead - make a plan for support and making changes.

SR is great but maybe you need to explore some other things as well? What else have you tried ?

D

eve123

eve123

ChloeRose63

Take it minute by minute. Write down small things you want to accomplish today. Even if it is like "brush my teeth" or "do the dishes", etc. It will help you focus when the withdrawal makes your mind all fuzzy. Your brain is rewiring and it can be really crazy. Stay hydrated with water or juice. I drink calming teas when my nerves are frenzied.

eve123

ChloeRose63

Maybe you could make a list of reasons "why" you decided to pick up that first drink. That is the "clue". That choice you made to pour yourself a drink was triggered by the thought that having alcohol would somehow help you, how?
Focus on that first drink because we all know that one is too many and 1000 is never enough.

eve123

Bonniefloyd

Epictetus

If you were to give a crying child what she wanted, she would perhaps spend the day eating sweets and watching tv right? Would it do her any good? what if you were to give her what she needed? Would you revert to looking after her and giving her what she needs? Nourishing food? Warmth? Love and security?

If you give yourself what you want will it do you any good? what if you were to give yourself what you need?

What would reverting to self care look like for you? how would it make you feel? Could you do it? What would "heaven" look like?

ChloeRose63

"Wanted a treat" but, the treat is poison. Early in my recovery I would train my mind to look a any bottle of alcohol and see the "skull and cross bones" and read the would "Poison". Even a child is taught what a bottle of poison looks like.

gypsytears

Slow deep breaths. Focus on the inhale as you’re inhaling. Feel it fill up your chest. Focus on the exhale as you’re exhaling. Try to let your exhale be longer than your inhale. Do this a few times. Now direct your breath to your belly. Let your belly fill with breath, then pull the breath into your chest. Exhale and feel it leaving the chest, then the belly. Pull your navel in towards your spine to get rid of all that breath. Repeat.

Chores are good. They’re a distraction plus need to be done anyway.

Epictetus

Imagine if you were in a job and you had a manager who spoke to you in that manner. Would you feel motivated to work for him? How would you feel in a job like that? What kind of a manager would motivate you more on a job?

Imagine if a friend spoke to you that way. Imagine if someone spoke to your son or daughter that way. Imagine if you saw an adult speaking to a child in that way. Would you want to protect the child?

Is it possible you are speaking to yourself in a tyrannical manner?

What way would you speak to yourself if you were a loving but firm parent with strong boundaries speaking to your (inner) child?

Could you parent yourself in a more loving, forgiving and encouraging manner?

eve123

ChloeRose63

I think the "pretending everything is normal" is what is causing all your anxiety. You are not fooling anyone with thinking that you are acting "normal". You can only pretend for so long. Time to come to terms with who you are and where you are in your life.

snitch

Dear Eve.

I can really identify with your post. I felt like that after every binge and it really is Hell on Earth. Unfortunately it is something you have to fo through to get to the other side. My last binge 18 months ago I felt the same way as you are now plus I was withdrawing from xanax medication as well. Like you I had family to care for. My daughter. It was horrible, absolutely horrible but I knew that I just had to keep putting one foot in front of the other and then get my head on my pillow at night sober. It took me about 10 days to really feel "normal" again. I knew that alcohol was out to kill me and a quick death would have been preferable to how I was living following binges.



Your mindset has to change. Alcoholics cannot have just a couple of drinks. Once we put alcohol in our system then we set off the phenomenan of craving. There isn't enough alcohol to satisfy us. It is the first drink that causes the damage to us.

Accept that you are going to feel bad for a couple of days. Don't beat yourself up. Remember you are a sick person trying to get well not a bad person trying to be good. When you are feeling anxious take deep breaths, tell yourself that you are not going to feel this way for ever, it WILL pass. Pray for the strength and the courage to get through this day only and get your head on your pillow sober. Once you are feeling better then your recovery can begin.

Lots of prayers, love, courage and strength to you.

🙏❤🙏❤

DriGuy

The belief that you can have just a couple defies all we understand about alcoholism. You are not the exception to that rule. There is no exception to that rule, unless you are NOT an alcoholic, but an alcoholic is defined as someone who cannot have just a couple. By your behavior, you must be an alcoholic.

So the reality must be:
You are an alcoholic.
You cannot have just two.

Reality is what it is and you can't change it. You've got to stop listening to your AV when it tells you that you can have just a couple. Your AV does not live in reality and it has no understanding of reality. It just wants to drink, and it doesn't care what happens to you.

eve123