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New to the forum
I am new to the forum. A little bit about me is that I have been abstinent from alcohol for 10 years. I actively attended AA for about 5 years and then started seriously slacking off on meetings. I would head to 1 or 2 every now and then when the desire struck. I am one of those who does not want to seek help and I want to appear like I always have it all together, and often I do. But inside I struggle and am hurting. I started attending meetings again. I went three times last week, finally. I seek emotional sobriety and relief from my depression and anxiety. I have had so many challenges in my personal life the last 10 years and not had a drink over any of it, even though I wanted to. I left my husband who is still an active alcoholic. I moved out. My kids are grown. I have a 26 year old son who has been in recovery for over a year now. Thank God. I have so much to be grateful for. But I had a very challenging event come to surface that was something that happened as result of my drinking when I was 17. I started drinking at around 14 . I got sober at 21 and stayed sober for about 5 years. I relapsed. I would go back to meetings and relapse again. I was married to a man who wanted a drinking buddy. My story is too convoluted for this short intro. But I am sure many can identify. I spent years compromising my sobriety for the person I married. That was my choice. I don't blame him. Then finally I got sober and after 8 years left him and his drinking, apathy, and passive cruelty. No victim here. I did what I needed to do for me and I am at peace with that decision. My kids were happy for me and that says a lot. But then in January discovered something that really has been hard on me and my 35 year old daughter emotionally. It has triggered a lot from my past drinking. But I am here. I am back to meetings and I am hoping to intuitively handle this situation that is baffling me. But I need to work on my sobriety and felt I needed a safe place to discuss this issue until I can get a good sponsor. And also until I can a home group, commit to continuing to go to meetings. I know I need more help than I am willing to admit. I can appear to others like I have really got it together and then I am falling apart inside or I just want to isolate.
JJ
JJ
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Join Date: Nov 2018
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Originally Posted by daffodil8 
I need to work on my sobriety and felt I needed a safe place to discuss this issue until I can get a good sponsor. And also until I can a home group, commit to continuing to go to meetings. I know I need more help than I am willing to admit. I can appear to others like I have really got it together and then I am falling apart inside or I just want to isolate.
There are sites devoted to travel, flying remote controlled model airplanes, and training your dog, but this site is devoted to not doing something. Although, what is not said is that it opens doors to other things.
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