Balance
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Join Date: Aug 2017
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Balance
Hey Everyone,
I'm in my third week sober now and I think I'm doing ok. I've been going to meetings and counselling every week. It's really helping. I've also decided to change my whole attitude to socialising and I've cancelled a few things that involve groups of people drinking. I'm not socialising with alcohol anymore. I've finally realised I just don't have to and it's such a release.
I just wanted to ask about balance. I'm really tired just now, and anxious/obsessing. I know swimming again would help and getting into a better routine with meditation, reading, writing etc.
In the past I've puts loads of pressure on myself in early recovery and its been too hard to keep up with but then sitting around tired after work and watching TV doesn't help much either. I really want to get it right this time. Any ideas for working towards a better balance in the right way?? 💕
I'm in my third week sober now and I think I'm doing ok. I've been going to meetings and counselling every week. It's really helping. I've also decided to change my whole attitude to socialising and I've cancelled a few things that involve groups of people drinking. I'm not socialising with alcohol anymore. I've finally realised I just don't have to and it's such a release.
I just wanted to ask about balance. I'm really tired just now, and anxious/obsessing. I know swimming again would help and getting into a better routine with meditation, reading, writing etc.
In the past I've puts loads of pressure on myself in early recovery and its been too hard to keep up with but then sitting around tired after work and watching TV doesn't help much either. I really want to get it right this time. Any ideas for working towards a better balance in the right way?? 💕
The opposite of addiction is connection.
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Oregon, USA
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Hi Gabe, I’m on Day 65 and can relate to this question. I was wondering the same thing. In the first month I felt I needed lots of rest, but I started to feel guilty for lying around so much. I started sleeping much better around week three ( like REALLY better) and the daytime fatigue lifted. There are still plenty of things you can do for your recovery while resting, like posting here, reading books, meditation and so on. Overall I would say listen to your body, eat well, drink water, nourish your body and soul and don’t force it. But also be vigilant for the AV...
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I can very much relate to having the balance issue. One of the few things I knew at the outset of my recovery was that balance was going to be essential. I had been doing too much, afraid to say 'No', and was stressed and resentful. I knew it had to stop. It's so important for you to listen to your gut feelings and do what works for you.
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Originally Posted by PinnacleOR 
Hi Gabe, I’m on Day 65 and can relate to this question. I was wondering the same thing. In the first month I felt I needed lots of rest, but I started to feel guilty for lying around so much. I started sleeping much better around week three ( like REALLY better) and the daytime fatigue lifted. There are still plenty of things you can do for your recovery while resting, like posting here, reading books, meditation and so on. Overall I would say listen to your body, eat well, drink water, nourish your body and soul and don’t force it. But also be vigilant for the AV...
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Join Date: Aug 2017
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Originally Posted by Anna
I can very much relate to having the balance issue. One of the few things I knew at the outset of my recovery was that balance was going to be essential. I had been doing too much, afraid to say 'No', and was stressed and resentful. I knew it had to stop. It's so important for you to listen to your gut feelings and do what works for you.
Funny thing is that this feels like my first attempt at recovery, even though I've been 'trying' for a couple of years. Its feel authentic and really precious. No BS this time. I really want this and I think that is whats sent my anxiety off the charts but its also a massive positive 💕
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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Hi Gabe, I was like you and had relapsed several times. Too many to count. I think I tried for four years before I got it right? I’m glad you are seeing a counselor. This was a huge part of my being able to stay sober. I really had to work on changing myself and develop emotional sobriety in addition to staying off alcohol. I relate to the balance problem in the beginning. So much of my time had been spent drinking or hungover or preoccupied with getting alcohol and sneaking around. I couldn’t figure out what to do with myself and all the time I had. Plus I was still trying to cope with tough problems at home by using other coping skills. I was a mess. It took at least 3 months before the anxiety started to dissipate. Probably 6-9 months before I started to feel normal.
To rebalance myself, I had to establish new habits and routines and stickto them. It sounds silly but I would get up every morning and make the bed first thing. Then I would start a meditation. I found some great meditation apps, like Insight Timer, and even Youtube has meditations on self compassion and recovery, lots of great stuff. I would exercise -either go for a run outside or use my treadmill. I started going to a yoga class on set nights every week. I learned that i don’t need to fill all the time with some activity and sometimes it’s good to just be still. Eventually I started practicing gratitude every day. I found the gratitude thread here at SR. It’s been so helpful to me and to be able to connect with others. The most important thing for me is to keep practicing all of these sober skills I learned and never stop. I’ve also changed friendships and made new friends along the way. Oh, and I’ve discovered art and find it to be very healing and therapeutic when I have time. I am not an artist by any means. Just letting myself go being creative.
I know you can do this!
To rebalance myself, I had to establish new habits and routines and stickto them. It sounds silly but I would get up every morning and make the bed first thing. Then I would start a meditation. I found some great meditation apps, like Insight Timer, and even Youtube has meditations on self compassion and recovery, lots of great stuff. I would exercise -either go for a run outside or use my treadmill. I started going to a yoga class on set nights every week. I learned that i don’t need to fill all the time with some activity and sometimes it’s good to just be still. Eventually I started practicing gratitude every day. I found the gratitude thread here at SR. It’s been so helpful to me and to be able to connect with others. The most important thing for me is to keep practicing all of these sober skills I learned and never stop. I’ve also changed friendships and made new friends along the way. Oh, and I’ve discovered art and find it to be very healing and therapeutic when I have time. I am not an artist by any means. Just letting myself go being creative.
I know you can do this!
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
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Balance requires values and purpose. All choices in life are made by pursuing what we truly value, what makes us happy.
You have three options: Abstain, moderate or abuse. Which option would truly make you happiest?
We all seek serenity or happiness. All human behavior is driven by the pursuit of happiness and that, when you choose to do something, you do so because you see it as your best available option. This concept is vitally important because the only way you will stop desiring heavy substances and change your behavior is by seeing more happiness in the change than in the using. Stop seeing yourself through the lens of disease and dysfunction. If you do this you become a helpless, handicapped victim rather than an empowered chooser.
"All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves."
–Blaise Pascal, 1669 - French mathematician, physicist, and philosopher
You have three options: Abstain, moderate or abuse. Which option would truly make you happiest?
We all seek serenity or happiness. All human behavior is driven by the pursuit of happiness and that, when you choose to do something, you do so because you see it as your best available option. This concept is vitally important because the only way you will stop desiring heavy substances and change your behavior is by seeing more happiness in the change than in the using. Stop seeing yourself through the lens of disease and dysfunction. If you do this you become a helpless, handicapped victim rather than an empowered chooser.
"All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves."
–Blaise Pascal, 1669 - French mathematician, physicist, and philosopher
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Join Date: Apr 2019
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What helped me in the first few months was sticking to the same routine. I did not over-burden myself with activities but I found it helpful to be occupied at all times. This included work, gym, writing, reading and tiding up. It worked. After a few months I was less strict with myself but still follow more or less this routine.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
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Originally Posted by Dee74
I think slow and steady wins the race in early recovery 
D
D
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Originally Posted by Fearlessat50
Hi Gabe, I was like you and had relapsed several times. Too many to count. I think I tried for four years before I got it right? I’m glad you are seeing a counselor. This was a huge part of my being able to stay sober. I really had to work on changing myself and develop emotional sobriety in addition to staying off alcohol. I relate to the balance problem in the beginning. So much of my time had been spent drinking or hungover or preoccupied with getting alcohol and sneaking around. I couldn’t figure out what to do with myself and all the time I had. Plus I was still trying to cope with tough problems at home by using other coping skills. I was a mess. It took at least 3 months before the anxiety started to dissipate. Probably 6-9 months before I started to feel normal.
To rebalance myself, I had to establish new habits and routines and stickto them. It sounds silly but I would get up every morning and make the bed first thing. Then I would start a meditation. I found some great meditation apps, like Insight Timer, and even Youtube has meditations on self compassion and recovery, lots of great stuff. I would exercise -either go for a run outside or use my treadmill. I started going to a yoga class on set nights every week. I learned that i don’t need to fill all the time with some activity and sometimes it’s good to just be still. Eventually I started practicing gratitude every day. I found the gratitude thread here at SR. It’s been so helpful to me and to be able to connect with others. The most important thing for me is to keep practicing all of these sober skills I learned and never stop. I’ve also changed friendships and made new friends along the way. Oh, and I’ve discovered art and find it to be very healing and therapeutic when I have time. I am not an artist by any means. Just letting myself go being creative.
I know you can do this!
To rebalance myself, I had to establish new habits and routines and stickto them. It sounds silly but I would get up every morning and make the bed first thing. Then I would start a meditation. I found some great meditation apps, like Insight Timer, and even Youtube has meditations on self compassion and recovery, lots of great stuff. I would exercise -either go for a run outside or use my treadmill. I started going to a yoga class on set nights every week. I learned that i don’t need to fill all the time with some activity and sometimes it’s good to just be still. Eventually I started practicing gratitude every day. I found the gratitude thread here at SR. It’s been so helpful to me and to be able to connect with others. The most important thing for me is to keep practicing all of these sober skills I learned and never stop. I’ve also changed friendships and made new friends along the way. Oh, and I’ve discovered art and find it to be very healing and therapeutic when I have time. I am not an artist by any means. Just letting myself go being creative.
I know you can do this!
I'm lucky in that I walk to work and back, so I am getting some exercise and I sleep really well, because loads of people don't. I also realised that I have had enough sober time that it feel strange to be sober and I'm not physically craving, I just need to calm down. I think I am feeling vulnerable that my motivation and perspective will change and I wont have enough in place.
I'm reading and meditating. Next week I am going to try swimming again in the morning (massive impact on my anxiety), but maybe do this three times a week.
I think vulnerable is the right word and scared. I hoping that changes soon and I can trust myself more.I doing it! I just need to believe it
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Originally Posted by CRRHCC
Balance requires values and purpose. All choices in life are made by pursuing what we truly value, what makes us happy.
You have three options: Abstain, moderate or abuse. Which option would truly make you happiest?
We all seek serenity or happiness. All human behavior is driven by the pursuit of happiness and that, when you choose to do something, you do so because you see it as your best available option. This concept is vitally important because the only way you will stop desiring heavy substances and change your behavior is by seeing more happiness in the change than in the using. Stop seeing yourself through the lens of disease and dysfunction. If you do this you become a helpless, handicapped victim rather than an empowered chooser.
"All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves."
–Blaise Pascal, 1669 - French mathematician, physicist, and philosopher
You have three options: Abstain, moderate or abuse. Which option would truly make you happiest?
We all seek serenity or happiness. All human behavior is driven by the pursuit of happiness and that, when you choose to do something, you do so because you see it as your best available option. This concept is vitally important because the only way you will stop desiring heavy substances and change your behavior is by seeing more happiness in the change than in the using. Stop seeing yourself through the lens of disease and dysfunction. If you do this you become a helpless, handicapped victim rather than an empowered chooser.
"All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves."
–Blaise Pascal, 1669 - French mathematician, physicist, and philosopher
I felt really empowered at first. I think that was with making a genuine commitment to God and to myself to not drink again. It's figuring out how to make that happen and how not to mess it up, get lazy and complacent.
To remember to breathe......
I'm starting to see you much happiness in being sober and recovey. I choose that happiness.
you really helped me realise that.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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Anxiety and stress comes from me failing to realize that I am already what I am looking for and I have been here all along. When I let go of my battles and open my heart to things as they are, then I come to rest in the present moment. Right here, right now is the best place for my spiritual practice to begin/renew/restart.
Life is so much wiser and kinder than your mind imagines. Trust & Be Still.
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What CRRHCC posted and your response to it - that was the point I reached too. I needed to be a better person and the best version of myself. This thinking has continued to carry me forward. I’ll be three years in Jan. Woot!
Values and purpose are everything!
Values and purpose are everything!
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Originally Posted by nez
Anxiety and stress comes from me failing to realize that I am already what I am looking for and I have been here all along. When I let go of my battles and open my heart to things as they are, then I come to rest in the present moment. Right here, right now is the best place for my spiritual practice to begin/renew/restart.
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Originally Posted by Fearlessat50
What CRRHCC posted and your response to it - that was the point I reached too. I needed to be a better person and the best version of myself. This thinking has continued to carry me forward. I’ll be three years in Jan. Woot!
Values and purpose are everything!
Values and purpose are everything!
Its being the best version of yourself but still being yourself. Accepting and owning the past and commiting to a better future. What trips me up is the accepting part and not feeling like I have to be a completely different person. It's just me. That's ok, it's enough and its how God made me! Its hard not to reject the parts of myself I don't like.
Work in progress I believe is the term! 💕
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
I love this 💕 its hard to feel I am already enough. Acceptance of that is really tough for me. I counselling today and realised that the amazing amount of pressure I have put myself under to be in 'recovery' was actually about playing a part, a different part to myself and I always failed at it. Letting go of that fear that I'll only be ok if I'm perfect is something I'm working on.
some days you might make a lot of ground and others not so much, but you'll get there in the end so long you keep focused.
D
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Thanks Dee. I think the counselling is really helping me figure out that stuff and what has got in the way if this working before. I think fear and resistance to owning my own decisions have been a big part of it.
I'm starting small and building. Everything is starting to come together, partly because I learning patience and taken some of the pressure off. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other and a few core commitments that I have promised myself I'll keep.
Hope you are good and thanks again 💕
I'm starting small and building. Everything is starting to come together, partly because I learning patience and taken some of the pressure off. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other and a few core commitments that I have promised myself I'll keep.
Hope you are good and thanks again 💕
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
Thanks Pinnacle. That's reassuring. I'm sleeping A LOT and still feeling tired but my anxiety is high and my emotions are all over the place - it's exhausting and I think that's at the root of the fatique. I'm also just scared of slipping backwards and never getting out of this cycle. I feel like I am doing nothing but I actually am doing ok. Just trying to stay calm...need to lay off the coffee though!
Keep going. It evens up and gets so much better!
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