Getting To Root of problem
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 32
Getting To Root of problem
First off I don't know if I can. I just don't know why I do what I do. The only reason I want to get to the root is because I know I should end it all, before I literally kill myself, or someone else, or something terrible happens.
Brutal honesty - been on a week long bender. Finances have gone to hell, bumped into very nasty people, and also mostly nice people. I do get a kick out of it, but the rational part of my mind says it's never worth it. Dee said he didn't have to fill a void, which has been on my mind a lot.Everyone is a little different. I'm not sure. Maybe I have to change my whole life to stop my addiction?
Brutal honesty - been on a week long bender. Finances have gone to hell, bumped into very nasty people, and also mostly nice people. I do get a kick out of it, but the rational part of my mind says it's never worth it. Dee said he didn't have to fill a void, which has been on my mind a lot.Everyone is a little different. I'm not sure. Maybe I have to change my whole life to stop my addiction?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
I think a lot of people think they have to get to the root of why they drank in order to stop - but in fact I couldn't get to the root of my problem until I stopped drinking.
Drinking for as many years as I did addled my brains a little - not permanently but enough for me to not be able to think of a life without drinking.
I was scared of sobriety because my entire life was about drinking - and thats why I had to go to extreme lengths to change it.
I promise you noone wiould stay sober if they thought they lost out on the deal
I didn't lose out - I swapped existing for living
Its a leap of faith but it's not that risky. Why not try it and see?
D
Drinking for as many years as I did addled my brains a little - not permanently but enough for me to not be able to think of a life without drinking.
I was scared of sobriety because my entire life was about drinking - and thats why I had to go to extreme lengths to change it.
I promise you noone wiould stay sober if they thought they lost out on the deal
I didn't lose out - I swapped existing for living
Its a leap of faith but it's not that risky. Why not try it and see?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 32
It's definately addled my brains somewhat. One funny joke from two and a half men (my brother made me watch it), is I can't really afford to lose brain cells.
Yeah I get what youre saying. Don't try and dig yourself worrying about a faulty spade. Just start digging.
Yeah I get what youre saying. Don't try and dig yourself worrying about a faulty spade. Just start digging.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,928
I like the spade analogy, NewOne. Like Dee, I wouldn’t worry too much about the reasons.
I drink a lot of tea or coffee. I drink it very fast and need another. I’m cool with that, but the same habit applied with alcohol, but alcohol as we all know is addictive, so that wasn’t so cool. Apart from that self-diagnosis, I didn’t dwell on my reasons for drinking at all. Take it easy and good luck.
I drink a lot of tea or coffee. I drink it very fast and need another. I’m cool with that, but the same habit applied with alcohol, but alcohol as we all know is addictive, so that wasn’t so cool. Apart from that self-diagnosis, I didn’t dwell on my reasons for drinking at all. Take it easy and good luck.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,164
I wouldn't bother digging at this point, but newcomers, including myself at one time, feel compelled to do it, and it makes sense, except for the fact it doesn't lead anywhere. Even if it does lead somewhere, it keeps you from dealing with the real root of the problem.
I can tell you what the root of the problem is; You are addicted. OK, I admit there are mental components involved too, and eventually you will understand those better. But those mental components won't tell you why you are addicted. Most of those mental components are nothing but excuses you use to feed your addiction. In fact, they are often just excuses to hide your addiction from yourself.
At the most basic level, addiction is about body chemistry. It is not about moral failure, poor potty training, a life turning to ruin, or incorrect thinking, and except for the potty training this mental stuff is usually the result of addiction, not the cause. You will end up looking in the wrong places, and avoid working on the problem.
Introspection at this point may be interesting, and you could write up your own case study to send to Reader's Digest, but as someone in this forum recently pointed out, recovery is not about thoughts, it's about behavior. You need to stop drinking... for good... as in never again.
You will have to hang onto your chair for a few days to get through the cravings. As for the never drinking again, as distasteful as that sounds, it's not what you think it's actually like. Your flawed thinking makes it sound like eternal Hell (the same thinking that keeps you from dealing with your addiction, the thinking that says, "Hey look over here at the mess you are in," instead of dealing with the cause of the mess.
I don't expect any newcomer to immediately recognize the truth in what I'm saying, but do try to understand, because eventually you're going to have to quit drinking anyway. There's more to be learned along the way, and there is a lot of wisdom in the forum that will help, but quit drinking as soon as you can, because you won't be dealing with the actual problem until you do.
I can tell you what the root of the problem is; You are addicted. OK, I admit there are mental components involved too, and eventually you will understand those better. But those mental components won't tell you why you are addicted. Most of those mental components are nothing but excuses you use to feed your addiction. In fact, they are often just excuses to hide your addiction from yourself.
At the most basic level, addiction is about body chemistry. It is not about moral failure, poor potty training, a life turning to ruin, or incorrect thinking, and except for the potty training this mental stuff is usually the result of addiction, not the cause. You will end up looking in the wrong places, and avoid working on the problem.
Introspection at this point may be interesting, and you could write up your own case study to send to Reader's Digest, but as someone in this forum recently pointed out, recovery is not about thoughts, it's about behavior. You need to stop drinking... for good... as in never again.
You will have to hang onto your chair for a few days to get through the cravings. As for the never drinking again, as distasteful as that sounds, it's not what you think it's actually like. Your flawed thinking makes it sound like eternal Hell (the same thinking that keeps you from dealing with your addiction, the thinking that says, "Hey look over here at the mess you are in," instead of dealing with the cause of the mess.
I don't expect any newcomer to immediately recognize the truth in what I'm saying, but do try to understand, because eventually you're going to have to quit drinking anyway. There's more to be learned along the way, and there is a lot of wisdom in the forum that will help, but quit drinking as soon as you can, because you won't be dealing with the actual problem until you do.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 32
I've thinking on what youre saying. Sorry things don't lie to good unexplained.
I'm not a high acheiver in life. I probably should because I'm not stupid. And I dont go out, but there have been a stream of stupid people going by. But saying something like that is clearly a defense mechasm. Or what you guys say is AV in an infuriating subtle way.
I'm not special. I need help as much as anyone.
I'm not a high acheiver in life. I probably should because I'm not stupid. And I dont go out, but there have been a stream of stupid people going by. But saying something like that is clearly a defense mechasm. Or what you guys say is AV in an infuriating subtle way.
I'm not special. I need help as much as anyone.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
My experience is that I had a void in my life from childhood onward. I was definitely looking for something to fill the void, though I didn't turn to alcohol until I was in my forties.
Alcohol was not the problem, though I absolutely needed to stop drinking. I did need to do a lot of soul-searching in order to deal with the emptiness I felt and I needed to be sober in order to do that.
Alcohol was not the problem, though I absolutely needed to stop drinking. I did need to do a lot of soul-searching in order to deal with the emptiness I felt and I needed to be sober in order to do that.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
The utility company came out to my property and cut down some diseased trees that posed a threat to the power lines. I cut the downed trees into firewood to use to heat my house. I will now have a comfortable warm winter when the cold weather and snow get here. We never did get to the root of the problem trees. Maybe next spring I will dig the stumps up and expose the roots. :~)
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
The roots of an alcohol problem can be quite complex and are not the sort of thing most people figure out quickly. The first step is to stop the drinking itself. Allow time for your mind to clear. Once you're thinking more clearly the urges will still come, but once you are past urges to drink which are in large part biological/chemical a different sort of work begins. Most people deal with this next phase by getting help from a sponsor and or a therapist. Some of the deeper and less apparent causes of drinking typically become more apparent at that point.
And while discovering the deeper causes of the problem drinking are extremely important to long term recovery, it is my experience that people who find the most meaning in their recovery do the best.
I think Victor Frankl put it best, "Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning".
Devote yourself to it
And while discovering the deeper causes of the problem drinking are extremely important to long term recovery, it is my experience that people who find the most meaning in their recovery do the best.
I think Victor Frankl put it best, "Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning".
Devote yourself to it
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by awuh1 
The roots of an alcohol problem can be quite complex and are not the sort of thing most people figure out quickly. The first step is to stop the drinking itself. Allow time for your mind to clear.
not only couldnt learn what the problems were but couldnt get into solutions either.
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