itsmaria

I keep posting here, but I keep drinking. So I don't know what's different, except this is the first time I want to stop. I'm tired of trying to manage it, count drinks, etc. I try to control it.

Last weekend I had 10 drinks of rum in one night. That's a lot, it's just too much. It scares me a little bit.

So all this effort to try to control it, and I can't very well, at least not when I'm alone. And why, what is it adding to my life? Not much. Tired of waking up too hung over to do much, feeling bad.

I wish I could just stop. So my goal is to stop drinking alone. Most of my drinking is done alone so that would put quite a stop to it. I do have a few friends I drink socially with, but I see them occasionally- less than once a month- and they dont overdo it so I pace myself with them usually without a problem.

So I feel like maybe some people will say my goal to stop drinking alone is not enough or not good enough, but it is a pretty big goal for me, it seems huge, I don't know if I can do it. But I guess for the first time I want to.

I've been drinking alone for years, and it has slowly increased. I've been on this forum occasionally for years. i had a different name before, I think milly? I can't remember.

The last couple yrs I kept telling myself I like it, I need it. But I don't like it anymore. So I need to find a way to enjoy the things I did drunk without it. So I don't feel like I'm losing something.

Anyway this community is very patient and supportive and nonjudgmental so thanks.

My plan- I should be good until next weekend so I will have some goals and strategies planned.

Ghostlight1

Hello,
some people do quit drinking on their own. I semi did. But I went to AA first. I haven't been back to AA for years and I've been sober over ten years.
I wish you the best. If you find you can't stop drinking alone, help is available. Like these forums.

Consuela

Ghostlight1

No, I don't know. Wish I could help. Maybe search online.

Dee74

A plan is good Maria - let us know if we can help you with that

Consuela - the best thing to do would be to ask any rehab you might have in mind if they take medicare and if you qualify?

D

Anna

Marla, I'm glad you posted.

You might be able to manage controlling your drinking. I hope you do. For me, and most of us here, stopping completely is far easier than managing and controlling the drinking.

Let us know how you're doing.

itsmaria

Thanks. Well I forgot I still had some rum left so I dumped it down the sink. It's a good start I guess.

DesertDawg

This is an important point, Maria. In my opinion, life is hard enough sober. Trying to keep things together while being an alcoholic is absolutely EXHAUSTING. At a certain point, I no longer had the energy to manage my life AROUND my drinking. Add in the days lost to hangovers/withdrawal, and it was just too much. I waved the white flag and gave up.