taplow

I can't produce proof that woud satisfy you. But that's not very high on my list. I might fail like I did last week. If so, congatulations.
This is my way of doing it. In fact it's done. Negativity from others is not going to stop me.

taplow

Read your post again and see that maybe you're agreeing with me - I think. I believed that you were saying I needed to prove to you that my "I'm never going to drink again," statement was true - which of course is impossible.
But now I see you meant that......well I don't know what you meant about prooflessness.
The AV is everything that goes against that decision to stop drinking. Is that right? Or is the AV the voice that tells me I've stopped drinking forever?
I've no idea.

dwtbd

My bad, I should have worded that better.

Absolutely no ill will on my part. I meant to convey the idea that, that assertion is inherently 'nonprovable' .

My view and point was that, that is not disqualifying , and accepting that 'truth' of the unprovable -ness is how to shut down the AV.

I'm a rooter, you got this

taplow

Sorry for misunderstanding you. I think I might have got sort of what you meant when I read it again. I posted again above.
First time I thought, well you know what.
Thanks.

dwtbd

Definitely my fault , congratulations on your decision!

fini

i always look for loopholes, taplow.
because of my own history.

taplow

I always look through peepholes as well. But we won't go into my history.

fini

yo, taplow.
tapping the low bottom of the sarcasm barrel here??

in case you’re NOT joking, just to say that knowing my history with loopholes and fooling myself, i highly recommend to you to be clear on your own. history and loopholes.
no need to share it here....other than what you already have.
how are you today?

BeABetterMan

taplow

I'm fine fini, how are you? Please don't take offence. It was not meant to be insulting, just the words were similar - assonance isn't it? I'm a decent chap really; the sort of man who always washes his hands after going to the toilet.
Well, moving on, I'll say that I've always been a master at deceiving myself, especially over drinking. There are always reasons to talk myself into it - it's sunny, it's wintry. I'm with people, I'm alone. I'm happy and need to celebrate, I'm sad and need to commiserate. How I didn't drink enough to get it out of my system so have a big binge and finish on a climax, then I can stop properly after the weekend. Maybe a reason might be that there are no reasons, utter despair, so why not get pissed.
Recently I realised - and it makes sense to me - that the big problem is using the word TRY. To try means there's doubt. Saying that I'm going to try not to drink turns the whole drinking subject into an internal debate. Why subject myself to this? I'll either give in under the pressure or successfully resist only to be fighting this battle for the rest of my stupid, sorry life. And all of that is because the doubt is there.
Why not sweep it all away? I don't have to examine my weaknesses, where I've gone wrong, why I've failed and how I can learn from that. None of that will help me. There's a whole network of intricate tangled thoughts that I can navigate. But examining past failiures to get one up on the desire to drink won't achieve anything, just continue the struggle, take up time and effort. It's one thought against an opposing thought; it's just something attacking itself. I can have all the reasons in the world, but there's still doubt. Earthlings, resistance is futile.
I believe that I can by-pass all that just by getting rid of trying. I say that drinking is out of the question. Sobriety is no longer something I hope for; it's already done, it's been achieved. It's not something I believe it's something I know, because if I don't know it then I've already put myself back in the arena.
For me now the whole looking through peepholes for loopholes thing is pointless.
I don't know if this is AVRT - I think it is - but whatever, it makes sense to me.

And once again fini, no offence meant.

Epictetus

“Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Yoda: The Empire Strikes Back

taplow

I had 2 in 8 days when drinking last week. But I still get them when I'm sober. But yes, there's less of them.
I hope you're doing okay.

fini

no offence taken at all, taplow.
when i understood on a different level from before that i am an alcoholic, i could stop the loopy hole thing. the need for all of that was gone.

DriGuy

Yikes, this sounds like it's going to get heavy.

That's a little hard to follow.

This is not getting much clearer.

OK, I think I have the answer. You need a hobby.

taplow

Sorry DriGuy, but I think you misunderstood every point. My fault of course; I should have been clearer and simpler.

taplow

Tried to edit above post and add this in but it wouldn't let me save it. First I should say that first post was written while I was drinking. I sort of clarified that later on.

The first one's a joke, obviously not a very good one.

The second one's saying we are what we are when we're free to act. We have to accept responsibility for that. As for the shame bit, I'm saying that I meant that it's often the reason why I've started to drink again after a long abstinence.

The third one was - well it's clear to me. Trying again to be funny - unsuccessfully again.

Best wishes.

DriGuy

I understood that it was a joke, but I actually thought it was pretty fair. I enjoy a good flow of word smithing as much as the next guy, but after all the flower and depth, I thought it would be fun to say something totally simple and inane like, "You need a hobby."

I actually enjoy your writing style.

taplow

"You need a hobby" was good. I'd have liked to have said it if I'd been in the same position.

Dee74

sent you a PM Taplow.

D

SnoozyQ

Wonderful advice & explanation