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Can a Method Work for You if You Don't Believe It Can Work?

Old 10-18-2019, 10:50 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I wouldn't call it meditation....but when things are quiet, and before I fall asleep.
I visualize myself as a sober person. As someone who can confidently hold my head up high knowing I'll never have to feel the shame of my drinking again.

I see myself not tempted or even caring about alcohol. I do this every night...

I used to do this with sports...picturing how a game was going to go, how I wanted it to go...visualizing how I was going to play. If I believe it enough...it is within my power to make it happen...
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Old 10-18-2019, 10:52 AM
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I've been sober for some time. My beliefs in many things have changed over the years. Taking the 1st step of ACTION will make progress. So what if a few of those pondered things might end up being wrong for you (at that time). Maybe, just maybe they opened the door to better paths.
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Old 10-18-2019, 06:29 PM
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I think there is a difference between not believing something will work (skepticism) and believing something will not work (resistance).

If I give it a go even though I'm not sure it will work, I probably have a much better chance at succeeding than if I am convinced it won't.
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Old 10-18-2019, 07:13 PM
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St Augustine is credited with saying: Seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand.

Does that make sense to you? It does to me.
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Old 10-18-2019, 07:28 PM
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yes, i think a method can work if you don’t believe it can.
as long as you apply it. and not half-heartedly

i wonder if part of the question and doubt comes from this being mind-centered, and not more “straightforward”physical?
for example: physio or heat application can work for my sore neck if i don’t believe it can.
hm.
also, though, they may not work even though i fervently believe they will.
well, there, that’s really helpful, isn’t it???
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Old 10-18-2019, 07:37 PM
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A Sane sensible person wouldn't do something if they didn't think it would work.

You wouldn't get married or start a business if you didnt think it would work.

But many people start sobriety unsure and uncertain if it will work. It's a long road
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Old 10-18-2019, 07:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
I'm not concerned as to whether permanent sobriety is attainable - I am certain that it is.

I am naturally curious, even more so after a short night's sleep and 3 cups of coffee. The topic my brain chose to ponder this morning was whether belief that a specific course of action would work is a requirement for it to work. I am not sure that it is, but I wondered what others thought.
I think that's the important part. Being certain that it is and also having an idea that it is attainable for you. I think that's the force behind any method. If you got it in your head that you want to escape and nothing is going to force that drink in your mouth then a particular method can't fail.

I actually was scared I wasn't going to be able to pull it off so I didn't even have that starting out. Mine was more to just put distance between me and that last drink whatever that took. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other without any real goal in mind or idea of what recovery should look like. I did spend a lot of time here and topics showed up like magic as if stones lighting up showing me the way out. Some really great people (you are one of them) posted and helped me move along into actual recovery.

I guess what I'm saying is that the recovery is in doing the thing and not so much about analyzing the thing.
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Old 10-18-2019, 08:05 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Patterson View Post
I wouldn't call it meditation....but when things are quiet, and before I fall asleep.
I visualize myself as a sober person. As someone who can confidently hold my head up high knowing I'll never have to feel the shame of my drinking again.

I see myself not tempted or even caring about alcohol. I do this every night...

I used to do this with sports...picturing how a game was going to go, how I wanted it to go...visualizing how I was going to play. If I believe it enough...it is within my power to make it happen...
This is really insightful. Part of me had to accept I was an alcoholic but also couldn't at the same time. It didn't mesh with my identity when I figured it out. I either had to get away entirely or accept myself as an alcoholic about to enter the later stages of the disease. My mind couldn't handle it and I choose to tap out. If you keep programming yourself as a sober person that gives you a better chance of staying sober.
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Old 10-18-2019, 08:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
Just a philosophical point, not trying to start any fights. Hopefully it won't turn into one.

...

... someone who doesn't believe it will be helpful?
... someone who doesn't believe it will work?
... someone who doesn't believe in the steps?
... someone who doesn't believe in CBT/DBT?

...

Curious what others think.
TIA!
Hi, Nons,

Maybe it'll help to get kind of all philosophical on you.

It may well not be helpful to attempt any of these methods if you're already operating from a place of doubt.

How about this:

Believe in sobriety.

For a long time, it worked for you. I don't know you, have never met you and never will. But I know enough about us to know that there's a hell of a lot of gold in the adage "live in the solution." It keeps us in safe harbors.

At some point, you stopped living in the solution because there was something in it for you to go back into the wilderness. What was that something? Nothing good, that much we all know. You'll need to dig deeper to find out the rest, why you hit the self-destruct button. To find out why you stopped believing in sobriety. Start believing again.
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Old 10-18-2019, 11:05 PM
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Try everything and see for yourself if it resonates.

I kinda did AVRT in rehab, I absolutely didn't want to repeat the experience and realized the only way I could 100% not end up back in rehab was to never drink or drug again. Inpatient rehab and this decision I think is the cornerstone of my sobriety. For me it works.

Did 12 Step for awhile when first out of rehab while waiting for my IOP slot to open. It was a good holding pattern, but I hated 12 Step and it wouldn't have helped me long term. Do I believe in it? Absolutely. Millions have been helped by AA, I'm just not one of them.

Outpatient rehab was COG-B, and it gave me some amazing tools to manage both sobriety AND my anxiety and depression, to the point where I'm nearly off all medications. I had to let my brain reset after nearly drinking myself to death and the subsequent detox, but it really does help.

After that, I did a huge gym routine, lost 65 pounds, which also helped with the anxiety and depression. Psychotherapy helped me immensely, I'm almost through with it for now.

I can't meditate or do yoga, both make me want to kill people. My brain never stops, and it's hell to try and quiet it. So it doesn't work for me, but I still "Believe" in it.

I'm also a terminal agnostic and don't subscribe to religious faith, so I don't feel like I needed to believe in anything. I tried everything and kept whatever stuck to the wall.

There's only one method to get and stay sober that I believe in....it's called whatever works. I do know that sobriety doesn't just happen, sobriety is all about action.
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Old 10-19-2019, 07:02 AM
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Originally Posted by MindfulMan View Post
Try everything and see for yourself if it resonates.

I don't feel like I needed to believe in anything. I tried everything and kept whatever stuck to the wall.
This is big, huge in fact. It is being open, but not gullible, skeptical but not negative. And it gets to the heart of the question at hand, because it describes a rational way to approach problems and solutions. It's experimentation and observation and then using that which works for you.
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Old 10-19-2019, 09:05 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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"A Sane sensible person wouldn't do something if they didn't think it would work."

not so sure about that. a sane sensible person might well do something on the recommendations of others they trust or that have had that "something" work for them.
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Old 10-19-2019, 09:28 AM
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I had to believe in my recovery method. It had to make sense to me, and most of them didn't. As soon as I learned about my AV, I understood that was the way to fix my faulty thinking. It might not be right for everyone, but it was right for me, and I'd already shopped around.

The hardest part was believing in myself, after everything I'd been through and all the things I'd done to myself. That's where I credit SR.

I think belief is HUGE. The smallest change of perspective can lead to the epiphany that finally breaks that old faulty wiring in the brain.

It all starts in the mind.
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Old 10-20-2019, 03:23 AM
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Belief, or Mindset, proved to be a hugely important factor for me. I like analogies:

It's called MINDSET
As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free." My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? So make an attempt to grow further.... Why shouldn't wem try it again?

Your attempt may fail, but never fail to make an attempt
CHOOSE not to accept the false boundaries and limitations created by the past...
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Old 10-20-2019, 07:20 AM
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For me belief was the first ingredient in the transformation from drinking every day to living a sober life. Belief that I could live a better life without drinking. The people on this site gave me the tools & encouragement to believe I could do it. The plan, the recovery method was up to me.
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Old 10-22-2019, 11:43 PM
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Originally Posted by DriGuy View Post
This is big, huge in fact. It is being open, but not gullible, skeptical but not negative. And it gets to the heart of the question at hand, because it describes a rational way to approach problems and solutions. It's experimentation and observation and then using that which works for you.
Don't DISBELIEVE in any course of action or sobriety method until you've tried it is the other part of this. I dismissed AA after diving headfirst into it, not before.
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Old 10-23-2019, 02:54 AM
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How's it going Non?
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Old 10-23-2019, 04:06 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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Bueno. I appreciate the discussion.
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