90 days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 20
90 days
I've hit the 90 day mark. Whew!
I feel so fortunate to have sobriety and happy to have this forum, so thanks everyone
This point in my journey is getting overwhelming. I'm overcome with so much fear and dread from all of the external crap (issues with my sister, frustrations at work that make me feel I'm slowly losing my sanity. Past relationship wounds. The absence of self esteem that made me drink to begin with.) There are many wounds that are open. And instead of trying to work on serenity and mindfulness, I found myself regressing the last couple of weeks since a huge fight with my sister. Constant dwelling on things I can't change. I totally went off track, feeling like I've lost touch with reality... maybe because my intense emotions are so isolating, i dont know...
I am not sure if maybe i was on the pink cloud that people talk about, and suddenly i dropped off of it, or what. Very damaging emotions are brimming. I'm angry, desiring revenge, wishing for things to go my way (ugh), spiteful. But feeling sorry for myself which is not okay. I have so many things to be grateful for, why dwell on the bad?
One last note, I do have a sponsor in AA, she has great advice, points to parts of the book to read for certain issues I'm having. She seems to understand me and have empathy but at the same time, challenges me when I could be doing something differently that would be better for my sobriety. Like when my sister starts being disrespectful, I should just "detach with love". The way she treats my parents and me and everyone basically is something I'm trying so hard to control, but I can't. I'm letting it break me. I'm trying to force these outcomes that I want.
I will be meeting with my sponsor to go over my 4th step resentments and fears inventory on Sunday. Maybe this will help.
Still glad to be here and know i do have tools ... just need to actually do the work...
I feel so fortunate to have sobriety and happy to have this forum, so thanks everyone
This point in my journey is getting overwhelming. I'm overcome with so much fear and dread from all of the external crap (issues with my sister, frustrations at work that make me feel I'm slowly losing my sanity. Past relationship wounds. The absence of self esteem that made me drink to begin with.) There are many wounds that are open. And instead of trying to work on serenity and mindfulness, I found myself regressing the last couple of weeks since a huge fight with my sister. Constant dwelling on things I can't change. I totally went off track, feeling like I've lost touch with reality... maybe because my intense emotions are so isolating, i dont know...
I am not sure if maybe i was on the pink cloud that people talk about, and suddenly i dropped off of it, or what. Very damaging emotions are brimming. I'm angry, desiring revenge, wishing for things to go my way (ugh), spiteful. But feeling sorry for myself which is not okay. I have so many things to be grateful for, why dwell on the bad?
One last note, I do have a sponsor in AA, she has great advice, points to parts of the book to read for certain issues I'm having. She seems to understand me and have empathy but at the same time, challenges me when I could be doing something differently that would be better for my sobriety. Like when my sister starts being disrespectful, I should just "detach with love". The way she treats my parents and me and everyone basically is something I'm trying so hard to control, but I can't. I'm letting it break me. I'm trying to force these outcomes that I want.
I will be meeting with my sponsor to go over my 4th step resentments and fears inventory on Sunday. Maybe this will help.
Still glad to be here and know i do have tools ... just need to actually do the work...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
Congrats to you on your 3 month mark! I myself hit 90 yesterday and whoa, do we deserve a huge pat on the back for the work we ARE doing already!
Always remember, you are already successful in sobriety, you are doing it right now, by logging on and expressing yourself, by not isolating, by working with a sponsor, by doing step work.
I found myself stalling a bit on step 4, i started but haven't gone back and am committing to doing it and focusing this weekend. It is so important to give ourselves this chance to grow, understand what happened and be led to that awakening.
It's crazy, everything you described I related to. The pink cloud....haha....I was knocked off that pretty quickly and I was shocked (almost offended!) that it didn't last for me! I understand through fellowship and my sponsor that this is JUST LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS! What a realization, that we can handle life now!
As for your sister, I think detaching with love to protect your sobriety is great advice. I have had to do this with a sick father, who can get abrasive and confrontational at times. I hold my recovery and sobriety as top priority and like a newborn baby, nothing can touch it. It helps me to look at him as I see myself, sick and in need of gentle healing that can only be provided by the person who is sick themselves. You deserve peace and should do whatever you need to do to get it. She will eventually understand when you are longer feeding what no longer serves you. Hopefully, she will find the path towards self-healing as well.
We are so lucky. We never get to feel the pain and despair we once had, and we can wish this and pray this for everyone else too.
I hope that things ease up. Like they say, don't give up before the miracle happens. Life is so rich and worth living happily, and we have to work it, it's worth it!
Congrats on 90!!!!!
Always remember, you are already successful in sobriety, you are doing it right now, by logging on and expressing yourself, by not isolating, by working with a sponsor, by doing step work.
I found myself stalling a bit on step 4, i started but haven't gone back and am committing to doing it and focusing this weekend. It is so important to give ourselves this chance to grow, understand what happened and be led to that awakening.
It's crazy, everything you described I related to. The pink cloud....haha....I was knocked off that pretty quickly and I was shocked (almost offended!) that it didn't last for me! I understand through fellowship and my sponsor that this is JUST LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS! What a realization, that we can handle life now!
As for your sister, I think detaching with love to protect your sobriety is great advice. I have had to do this with a sick father, who can get abrasive and confrontational at times. I hold my recovery and sobriety as top priority and like a newborn baby, nothing can touch it. It helps me to look at him as I see myself, sick and in need of gentle healing that can only be provided by the person who is sick themselves. You deserve peace and should do whatever you need to do to get it. She will eventually understand when you are longer feeding what no longer serves you. Hopefully, she will find the path towards self-healing as well.
We are so lucky. We never get to feel the pain and despair we once had, and we can wish this and pray this for everyone else too.
I hope that things ease up. Like they say, don't give up before the miracle happens. Life is so rich and worth living happily, and we have to work it, it's worth it!
Congrats on 90!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Hello and congrats on your 90 days . . look I understand the whole family issue thing. But for one if it is something that will I interfere with my sobriety. Then cut it loose. Fam or not. Doesnt mean you dont love them etc. But now its time to be selfish . guard that sobriety. Your life depends on it. ✌
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
Hi Adria 
yeah it's hard facing the stuff we ran away from or pushed aside for so long - but when I did I found I was more capable than I ever thought I was.
No one ever has to face everything at once - bite off what you can chew today..save the rest for tomorrow or next week, next month...if you need to get back to basics make a to do list every day.
you'll get through - I promise.
Congrats on 90 days
yeah it's hard facing the stuff we ran away from or pushed aside for so long - but when I did I found I was more capable than I ever thought I was.
No one ever has to face everything at once - bite off what you can chew today..save the rest for tomorrow or next week, next month...if you need to get back to basics make a to do list every day.
you'll get through - I promise.
Congrats on 90 days
Thanks everybody!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Congratulations on 90 days, that’s a big milestone. You should do something to celebrate yourself and your accomplishment.
Sobriety definitely brings the issues we were avoiding with alcohol. Dee’s advice to tackle one tiny bit at a time was very wise. If your sister is a stressor for you it’s okay to distance yourself, don’t feel even remotely guilty for doing what you need to stay sober.
Keep reading and posting, it will be a great support to you, and you can be a huge support to members who are just getting started!
Sobriety definitely brings the issues we were avoiding with alcohol. Dee’s advice to tackle one tiny bit at a time was very wise. If your sister is a stressor for you it’s okay to distance yourself, don’t feel even remotely guilty for doing what you need to stay sober.
Keep reading and posting, it will be a great support to you, and you can be a huge support to members who are just getting started!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by NicLin 
Congrats to you on your 3 month mark! I myself hit 90 yesterday and whoa, do we deserve a huge pat on the back for the work we ARE doing already!
Always remember, you are already successful in sobriety, you are doing it right now, by logging on and expressing yourself, by not isolating, by working with a sponsor, by doing step work.
I found myself stalling a bit on step 4, i started but haven't gone back and am committing to doing it and focusing this weekend. It is so important to give ourselves this chance to grow, understand what happened and be led to that awakening.
It's crazy, everything you described I related to. The pink cloud....haha....I was knocked off that pretty quickly and I was shocked (almost offended!) that it didn't last for me! I understand through fellowship and my sponsor that this is JUST LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS! What a realization, that we can handle life now!
As for your sister, I think detaching with love to protect your sobriety is great advice. I have had to do this with a sick father, who can get abrasive and confrontational at times. I hold my recovery and sobriety as top priority and like a newborn baby, nothing can touch it. It helps me to look at him as I see myself, sick and in need of gentle healing that can only be provided by the person who is sick themselves. You deserve peace and should do whatever you need to do to get it. She will eventually understand when you are longer feeding what no longer serves you. Hopefully, she will find the path towards self-healing as well.
We are so lucky. We never get to feel the pain and despair we once had, and we can wish this and pray this for everyone else too.
I hope that things ease up. Like they say, don't give up before the miracle happens. Life is so rich and worth living happily, and we have to work it, it's worth it!
Congrats on 90!!!!!
Always remember, you are already successful in sobriety, you are doing it right now, by logging on and expressing yourself, by not isolating, by working with a sponsor, by doing step work.
I found myself stalling a bit on step 4, i started but haven't gone back and am committing to doing it and focusing this weekend. It is so important to give ourselves this chance to grow, understand what happened and be led to that awakening.
It's crazy, everything you described I related to. The pink cloud....haha....I was knocked off that pretty quickly and I was shocked (almost offended!) that it didn't last for me! I understand through fellowship and my sponsor that this is JUST LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS! What a realization, that we can handle life now!
As for your sister, I think detaching with love to protect your sobriety is great advice. I have had to do this with a sick father, who can get abrasive and confrontational at times. I hold my recovery and sobriety as top priority and like a newborn baby, nothing can touch it. It helps me to look at him as I see myself, sick and in need of gentle healing that can only be provided by the person who is sick themselves. You deserve peace and should do whatever you need to do to get it. She will eventually understand when you are longer feeding what no longer serves you. Hopefully, she will find the path towards self-healing as well.
We are so lucky. We never get to feel the pain and despair we once had, and we can wish this and pray this for everyone else too.
I hope that things ease up. Like they say, don't give up before the miracle happens. Life is so rich and worth living happily, and we have to work it, it's worth it!
Congrats on 90!!!!!
- congrats to you on 90 days too!!! I am in the emotional dumps but I still have a little glimmer of willingness to learn how to let go and have serenity. I let myself cry which was its own form of letting go.
I was also stalling on step 4! lol. I finally did it the other day.
Thank you so much for the encouragement!!!
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