BeABetterMan

gypsytears

Most of that is positive. Can you meet with a friend for dinner, extra meetings, FaceTime with your kids... . The sober part is key to all the other things.

BeABetterMan

nez

Be the parent to that needy little baby, like you are to your kids. I have read your posts where you talk about your kids and the love you have for them is obvious. Show that same love to yourself. We all need that love. Don't hold it back from yourself. It will be payed back tenfold to you and your loved ones.

BeABetterMan

nez

Treat yourself the way you treat them. Pay attention to yourself. Listen to yourself. Do fun things with yourself. Empathize with yourself and pass along to yourself the valuable life lessons you have learned thus far. Give yourself breathing room but hold yourself responsible for your actions. Let yourself know that so called failures are not failures at all, but rather opportunities for learning and the only real mistakes you will make are the ones you don't learn from. Most importantly of all let yourself know, that no matter what, even though there may be times you don't like your behavior, you will never stop loving yourself.

Yeah I do love to ride. Even though I have been riding for years, everyday when I finish a ride, I am still like that 12 year old kid that just got his first ride on a motorcycle. The thrill is alive and well.

Because I live in the boonies, every job I take involves a commute and the question always comes up in the interview process about how will I handle the commute. My answer is that I don't look at it as commute, but rather a chance to partake of my favorite hobby in the world, riding my motorcycle and if I get the job I get to do it twice a day!

Riding is also a great chance for me to practice mindfulness meditation.

How about you? Do you get to ride much and what is a typical ride?

SoberRican

Thats awesome that you making the moves to better yourself. Like they say do the right thing the rest will follow. Unfortunately for me the riding a motorcycle thing. Which I never learned how. Heck I done scratched out even driving a vehicle. I am banned for life to ever drive again. No thanks to my ex......booze. But guess what ? I am still a happy camper. Why? Cause I have been blessed with this thing called sobriety. . The collateral damage is intense. But you know you live and learn. I did the hard way. . but you what I still humble myself. I am still able to get around. Work etc. . how do I do it? One day at a time. ✌

Zucc36

Great work with your self care. Your doing a lot of the things to keep you on the right track. Honestly, it takes some time for the new routine and lifestyle to feel comfortable and satisfying. But it does happen, it may sound cliche, but I wouldnt give up the way Iife is now, for when I was out there, for anything. Still have disapointments and have to work hard, but that obession and madness is gone, as long as I work my program. Keep it up!

gypsytears

How are you feeling today BeABetterMan ?

Anna

I think it's often really hard for us alcoholics to begin to love ourselves. But, it's also essential for recovery. Maybe you could start by doing something nice for yourself today.

BeABetterMan

djlook

Changing sponsors literally saved my life. I hope you do that. From what I understand, sponsors are to take us through the Book the way they were taken through the Book. It worked for me, and I've been sober for 22 years. Good luck to you.

gypsytears

You might be feeling worse but your report sounds pretty positive actually. Kids visit is sure to raise your spirits and work, doesn’t seem so bad. As for switching sponsors I have no experience but change is apparent and time will tell how that turns out. Regarding your old sponsor, is there any reason you can’t remain friends since you value the relationship? I’m glad you checked in .

BeABetterMan

gypsytears

Overthinking causes many a downfall. Myself included . I won’t presume to dissect the sponsor/sponsee relationship but I do know we’re all responsible for our own actions or reactions. Sobriety isn’t a guaranteed cure to what’s bothering us but it’s sure as hell moving in the right direction.

Just move forward from where you are. K.I.S.S. and all that jazz. Someone else will probably happen along with real advice. Until then, post away. I appreciate your posts.

DontRemember

Huge over thinker myself! When I was in early sobriety an old man who drives a city bus(that job would suck!) at AA told me to "kiss"(keep it simple stupid).

ColoradoRocky

For what it's worth, here's what I'm hearing.

You fall apart internally when you are alone without any external distraction, support, stimulation, direction, feed, whatever you want to call it. You feel disorganized internally and frenzied.

We, especially men, are taught to be self-sufficient, and much admired if we are. We're looked down on with contempt as if we were little babies if we aren't self-sufficient.

Falling apart just because you are alone is a huge self-disappointment and, really, unacceptable to others no matter what they pretend.

It's all very destructive to self esteem.

(I could be way off base on this, it's just my impression; you can tell me to get lost if you like...won't be the first time I heard that!)

BeABetterMan

tomsteve

ya might want to add read the bb and work the steps to:

Meetings? Check.
Praying? Check.
Reaching out for support? Check.
Sober? Check.
Exercising? Check.
Medicated? Check

ive seen it help many people go from stark raving sober to peaceful,serene, content

snitch

I agree with tomsteve. I suggest getting a new sponsor and start working those steps.!

Also, get out of self. It really helps to be of service to other people. If I am helping someone else then it takes me out of thinking about me.