New? Not really. Ongoing as always,
Phoenix Rising Again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
New? Not really. Ongoing as always,
Hello everyone. I got sober back in March 1, 2014. Five and a half years later, it can be easy to lose one’s way. In my time on the boards, I’ve gotten sick with two incurable chronic conditions for which I’ve had to go on disability for and rely on the kindness of my mother(definitely not easy or given freely). I’ve met the man of my dreams who accepts me for everything and gives unconditional love and hope. I expect the voices to sneak in during the bad times, but the good times?
I can can hear it there. “He’s a wine lover. Have a glass of wine with him! One glass won’t hurt anything! You won’t even notice!”
The flashbacks of drinking a fifth of vodka every night come into memory. That’s how it started; one glass of wine. To loosen up and relax. Surely no one cares about that. Until you think about the wasted days, wasted time with friends and loved ones, struggling to get through the next day while hung over with a migraine from hell and dry heaving over the toilet too many times to count.
i caught you there. That “just have one” voice. You’ve done nothing but destroy me in the past, over and over again. You do not deserve my trust or loyalty now... never again.
I can can hear it there. “He’s a wine lover. Have a glass of wine with him! One glass won’t hurt anything! You won’t even notice!”
The flashbacks of drinking a fifth of vodka every night come into memory. That’s how it started; one glass of wine. To loosen up and relax. Surely no one cares about that. Until you think about the wasted days, wasted time with friends and loved ones, struggling to get through the next day while hung over with a migraine from hell and dry heaving over the toilet too many times to count.
i caught you there. That “just have one” voice. You’ve done nothing but destroy me in the past, over and over again. You do not deserve my trust or loyalty now... never again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Congratulations on your sober time and meeting the man of your dreams. That is awesome.
After ten and a half years sober for me, that voice still comes. "One beer won't hurt. You know how to get sober. You can handle it."
Oh man, it sucks. I was telling a friend of mine who drinks about it yesterday, and to my surprise, he said, "you don't need it". And this is an old drinking buddy. He can control it. I can't.
Anyway, I'm sorry for your conditions. But happy for you at the same time.
Stay strong.
After ten and a half years sober for me, that voice still comes. "One beer won't hurt. You know how to get sober. You can handle it."
Oh man, it sucks. I was telling a friend of mine who drinks about it yesterday, and to my surprise, he said, "you don't need it". And this is an old drinking buddy. He can control it. I can't.
Anyway, I'm sorry for your conditions. But happy for you at the same time.
Stay strong.
Phoenix Rising Again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Thank you for the support!!
Lovely as ever so I see you, Dee! That voice of wisdom, support, and strength through the night to those of us in the States.
I had had to give up a lot during my illness since I literally (and yes, I know what that word means) spend upwards of 22 hours a day sleeping. I’ve missed my SR family although you are never far from my thoughts.
If, by any stroke of luck, there are any newbies reading this, lean hard and strong upon the family here. I absolutely never would have made it through if it wasn’t for the folks here. I hope my energy will allow me to reach out for those suffering especially in the middle of the night when the demons come a-calling.
Every day leads to a new you; a better and stronger person you ever thought possible but it’s there. So many strangers willing to reach out and help; just join the fight.
Lovely as ever so I see you, Dee! That voice of wisdom, support, and strength through the night to those of us in the States.
I had had to give up a lot during my illness since I literally (and yes, I know what that word means) spend upwards of 22 hours a day sleeping. I’ve missed my SR family although you are never far from my thoughts.
If, by any stroke of luck, there are any newbies reading this, lean hard and strong upon the family here. I absolutely never would have made it through if it wasn’t for the folks here. I hope my energy will allow me to reach out for those suffering especially in the middle of the night when the demons come a-calling.
Every day leads to a new you; a better and stronger person you ever thought possible but it’s there. So many strangers willing to reach out and help; just join the fight.
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