First time poster; need out of the trap!
Cman
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 8
First time poster; need out of the trap!
Hi, I'm a first time poster who's finally had enough of the alcohol trap. I don't drink frequently (usually once every three weeks) but when I do it goes way overboard. I spend way too much money, act in ways I'm really unhappy with for days upon days afterwards, wake up wanting (and having) a drink the next morning, dreading coming back to reality (even though I'm much happier when I haven't been drinking), and feeling depressed, anxious, guilty, nervous, useless, ungrateful and worthless for 2-4 days afterwards.
I 'never want to drink again' when I've bounced back and I'm initially feeling better, but then a few weeks later that seems to go out the window and somewhere along the line I fall into the trap/repeat the cycle again. It needs to stop, I want to live consistently healthier, happier and with more gratitude. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you're doing well today.
I 'never want to drink again' when I've bounced back and I'm initially feeling better, but then a few weeks later that seems to go out the window and somewhere along the line I fall into the trap/repeat the cycle again. It needs to stop, I want to live consistently healthier, happier and with more gratitude. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you're doing well today.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,364
Hi Cman 
support really made a difference for me. Read around, post as much as you like.
Maybe you'd like to check out our Class of October support thread? its for every one quitting this month - all you have to do to join is post
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-1-a-17.html
glad to have you join us
D
support really made a difference for me. Read around, post as much as you like.
Maybe you'd like to check out our Class of October support thread? its for every one quitting this month - all you have to do to join is post
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-1-a-17.html
glad to have you join us
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
"dreading coming back to reality"...I drink the same way you do...sometimes I can go for 4 months..currently I have almost 4 weeks..and those thoughts are creeping in....Its insanity because I feel so good after not drinking for almost 4 weeks...
Why do we sabotage our happiness and health for the escape of reality and the relief from our thoughts and feelings?
Your post just reminded me that if I want to drink again...I am going to feel like you feel AGAIN...and that is a horrible way to feel and being non functional for 2-4 days hit a chord with me also...usually its a week of drinking for me..and a week of recovery.....
For me...I realize it is SO possible that I will end up dead on my next binge...So possible that I bought a grave site....so my kids don't have to be burdened with my death as they are burdened with my drinking in this lifetime.
I hope we both realize that even thou we can put the drink down for some period of time...we are the types that should not pick it back up because we just CANT have a few for the relief....We have to find new things that bring relief.....I haven't found anything yet that brings the same relief...but reading your posts reminds me that I also don't want to feel like you are feeling...so Thank you for your post...and I hope you find your way.
Why do we sabotage our happiness and health for the escape of reality and the relief from our thoughts and feelings?
Your post just reminded me that if I want to drink again...I am going to feel like you feel AGAIN...and that is a horrible way to feel and being non functional for 2-4 days hit a chord with me also...usually its a week of drinking for me..and a week of recovery.....
For me...I realize it is SO possible that I will end up dead on my next binge...So possible that I bought a grave site....so my kids don't have to be burdened with my death as they are burdened with my drinking in this lifetime.
I hope we both realize that even thou we can put the drink down for some period of time...we are the types that should not pick it back up because we just CANT have a few for the relief....We have to find new things that bring relief.....I haven't found anything yet that brings the same relief...but reading your posts reminds me that I also don't want to feel like you are feeling...so Thank you for your post...and I hope you find your way.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Welcome. You at the right place. It was a blessing foe me to find this site. Some cool folks around here that "get it". And can relate. And in doing so I am 162 sober because of this tool if you will. This journey so far is awesome. ✌
Cman
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by SoberRican 
Welcome. You at the right place. It was a blessing foe me to find this site. Some cool folks around here that "get it". And can relate. And in doing so I am 162 sober because of this tool if you will. This journey so far is awesome. ✌
thank you for the reply. It's nice to know that people genuinely care even when it's completely anonymous, it really is a hopeful experience. Glad to hear your journey is awesome at day 162, hopefully I can say the same thing about mine. Thanks again
Cman
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by Misssy2
"dreading coming back to reality"...I drink the same way you do...sometimes I can go for 4 months..currently I have almost 4 weeks..and those thoughts are creeping in....Its insanity because I feel so good after not drinking for almost 4 weeks...
Why do we sabotage our happiness and health for the escape of reality and the relief from our thoughts and feelings?
Your post just reminded me that if I want to drink again...I am going to feel like you feel AGAIN...and that is a horrible way to feel and being non functional for 2-4 days hit a chord with me also...usually its a week of drinking for me..and a week of recovery.....
For me...I realize it is SO possible that I will end up dead on my next binge...So possible that I bought a grave site....so my kids don't have to be burdened with my death as they are burdened with my drinking in this lifetime.
I hope we both realize that even thou we can put the drink down for some period of time...we are the types that should not pick it back up because we just CANT have a few for the relief....We have to find new things that bring relief.....I haven't found anything yet that brings the same relief...but reading your posts reminds me that I also don't want to feel like you are feeling...so Thank you for your post...and I hope you find your way.
Why do we sabotage our happiness and health for the escape of reality and the relief from our thoughts and feelings?
Your post just reminded me that if I want to drink again...I am going to feel like you feel AGAIN...and that is a horrible way to feel and being non functional for 2-4 days hit a chord with me also...usually its a week of drinking for me..and a week of recovery.....
For me...I realize it is SO possible that I will end up dead on my next binge...So possible that I bought a grave site....so my kids don't have to be burdened with my death as they are burdened with my drinking in this lifetime.
I hope we both realize that even thou we can put the drink down for some period of time...we are the types that should not pick it back up because we just CANT have a few for the relief....We have to find new things that bring relief.....I haven't found anything yet that brings the same relief...but reading your posts reminds me that I also don't want to feel like you are feeling...so Thank you for your post...and I hope you find your way.
thanks so much for your reply. I'm definitely the kind who can't just have one. Sometimes if I'm with family I can manage to 'have a few' but that's not even enjoyable, as the underlying effort it's taking to restrain myself dominates the whole experience and means it's no longer enjoyable, just stressful. So there appears to be no way in which I can have drinks, and I've come to accept that now.
Hearing about your experiences helps me understand that others out there experience the same pains. Wish I could understand fully why we do it... but it's amazing that you've gone four months and I hope you can go further this time.
Thank you again, I really appreciate your words.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,154
Like an animal in a trap, you are aware that you are in a trap You don't want to be there, but you can't get out. Unlike an animal in a trap, alcoholics do have periods of sobriety and moments of clarity where they can observe their plight before they stick their foot back in the trap.
Unlike humans, if they do get out, animals don't usually stick their foot back in the trap albeit sometimes missing a paw. Yes they smell the bait, but they usually remember the pain and leave the trap alone.
So the solution to your problem is don't put your foot in the trap. Of course, this begs the question, "How do I do that?" The answer is the same. "Don't put your foot in the trap." That's the simple answer, but fortunately there are some aids. For me, it was:
nightly meetings with people who have been there before you.
gaining new knowledge about the trap.
understanding that moderating your drinking will always fail.
a whole lot of commitment to not ever drinking again.
practicing gratitude. There is much worth being grateful for.
From others, you will find additional aids in this forum. Some aids will be helpful. But ignore them all at your own peril.
Unlike humans, if they do get out, animals don't usually stick their foot back in the trap albeit sometimes missing a paw. Yes they smell the bait, but they usually remember the pain and leave the trap alone.
So the solution to your problem is don't put your foot in the trap. Of course, this begs the question, "How do I do that?" The answer is the same. "Don't put your foot in the trap." That's the simple answer, but fortunately there are some aids. For me, it was:
nightly meetings with people who have been there before you.
gaining new knowledge about the trap.
understanding that moderating your drinking will always fail.
a whole lot of commitment to not ever drinking again.
practicing gratitude. There is much worth being grateful for.
From others, you will find additional aids in this forum. Some aids will be helpful. But ignore them all at your own peril.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,642
Welcome CM. For me the most important thing I do to maintain my recovery is daily support. Not every few days or weekly- every day, often more than once I post here at SR. I take time to read and learn from others in differing threads as well. Meetings fre
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Cman - Great first post. Welcome. While you do not drink a frequently as I did you realize that what happens when you do drink is as important as how often you drink. I hope you keep posting here.
Cman
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by AAPJ
Cman - Great first post. Welcome. While you do not drink a frequently as I did you realize that what happens when you do drink is as important as how often you drink. I hope you keep posting here.
Thank you for the welcome. Yeah, although my drinking isn't overly frequent, I just know it has to stop. It's gotten me into some awful situations and it could potentially put my my future career path in jeopardy if I continued venturing down that road. Some things have to change!
I hope that you're doing well today
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