Learned a few things yesterday, could be helpful
Learned a few things yesterday, could be helpful
So I went to the local drug and alcohol center yesterday as I had a relapse a couple of weeks back that ended in a hospital stay in the psych ward for a week. They came to visit me in the hospital to encourage me to return to their services even if I felt sure I wouldn't drink again.
They were so kind and amazing.
I signed up again to do the twice weekly urine tests. I told them that this had worked as a good deterrent for me in the past. Even if I went on my own, it wasn't court ordered, it gave me sort of a challenge when I had strong urges to drink. I wanted to keep up my perfect record. Obviously one needs to have care beyond that, but it worked well for me in hard times.
We spoke about all the tests I had done in the hospital and prior with them and that nothing was out of order with my liver, not one blood test out of normal range and no evidence of damage to my liver. I said, "yes, it seems I have a very strong body, I am always healthy on the medical exams, it is my brain being damaged" They agreed that I had a strong body but warned me to not let that information think I was safe from harm. They said that it is common to see liver damage that gradually gets worse, but they have also seen many people who are perfectly healthy on paper for years and years and then one day just nose dive into severe damage- like all the damage that shows up slowly in other people comes on all at once in others. So that is my second piece of advice/information, don't let good blood tests give you an escape or out to keep on going. It will more than likely catch up to you at some point.
The last bit of information I have is a medication I had never heard of. It works to help the body get rid of alcohol more quickly. It may be good to have on hand for emergencies. I am clean now but they said that there is also evidence that it helps with cravings and obsessive impulses to drink. They prescribed me this in combination with Campral which I have already taken before. Here is a link to the wiki site on the medication:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metadoxine
They were so kind and amazing.
I signed up again to do the twice weekly urine tests. I told them that this had worked as a good deterrent for me in the past. Even if I went on my own, it wasn't court ordered, it gave me sort of a challenge when I had strong urges to drink. I wanted to keep up my perfect record. Obviously one needs to have care beyond that, but it worked well for me in hard times.
We spoke about all the tests I had done in the hospital and prior with them and that nothing was out of order with my liver, not one blood test out of normal range and no evidence of damage to my liver. I said, "yes, it seems I have a very strong body, I am always healthy on the medical exams, it is my brain being damaged" They agreed that I had a strong body but warned me to not let that information think I was safe from harm. They said that it is common to see liver damage that gradually gets worse, but they have also seen many people who are perfectly healthy on paper for years and years and then one day just nose dive into severe damage- like all the damage that shows up slowly in other people comes on all at once in others. So that is my second piece of advice/information, don't let good blood tests give you an escape or out to keep on going. It will more than likely catch up to you at some point.
The last bit of information I have is a medication I had never heard of. It works to help the body get rid of alcohol more quickly. It may be good to have on hand for emergencies. I am clean now but they said that there is also evidence that it helps with cravings and obsessive impulses to drink. They prescribed me this in combination with Campral which I have already taken before. Here is a link to the wiki site on the medication:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metadoxine
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
In my experience a profound psychic change/spiritual awakening is the key to maintaining contented sobriety. This can be achieved by working tried and trusted recovery programs or applying the key principles to facilitate this change in being. Also socialising and communicating with others who are also walking this path is essential in my experience. The rest are physical deterrents/stop-gaps for short term abstinence in my experience e.g. medications to stop from drinking etc.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Dear Mera, I am so very sorry to read your update, that was a very kind act to try to help someone else by sharing it. I am so glad that you came through physically unscathed, and are taking steps to prevent it happening again. You are deserving of a peaceful life, Mera, absent alcohol. Alcohol will only ever cause chaos.
If I answered this I would only be making excuses (so much stress, sad to have returned to Italy where my life is ****, custody battle.... was, was was, I'm the victim, everyone/everything is to blame but me....) I can't say why I did not reach out, why I went ahead and drank or why I was so weak. I am sorry, I just can't answer that right now, still trying to understand it myself.
In my experience a profound psychic change/spiritual awakening is the key to maintaining contented sobriety. This can be achieved by working tried and trusted recovery programs or applying the key principles to facilitate this change in being. Also socialising and communicating with others who are also walking this path is essential in my experience. The rest are physical deterrents/stop-gaps for short term abstinence in my experience e.g. medications to stop from drinking etc.
I also spoke yesterday of going to a community- what they are called here in Italy. I had put myself on the list before I left for the US and have moved up since. I am not in spot 20, which they said was good, a spot should open up soon for me.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl...dXcCaNB1Ej4lmc
The one I linked above is one of the most famous in Italy and also one of the most longest, they recommend a stay of at least 3 years.
But when you arrive they give you a month or so to settle in and calm down. They then pair you up with someone who has been there longer than you- so a peer- not a doctor, not some person who has never suffered like you, but someone the same as you. You match up based on personality and interests and then are given a room together. This person serves as your mentor. You then pick a career path from over 50 offered and are trained by volunteers from the professional community and then given work that supports the community.
There is everything from farming, laundry, call center, computer graphics, dentistry, medical, livestock raising, hospitality.... all supervised by professionals in the industry and assuring you receive all the right certifications to be able to work in that industry.
https://www.sanpatrignano.com/what-we-do/training/
I am applying to a much, much smaller one here locally. It is centred towards woman, specifically mothers and there are even mothers who come and live with their children. There is a playroom, an outdoor playground and then they have contacts within the local community for work. They will drive you to work in the morning and pick you up in the afternoon. There are parenting classes, psychological support, and various social activities. They even take the women out to a disco to dance on Saturday nights! Of course supervised, you can't drink or drug, but at least you can dress up, go out, dance and feel normal for a while.
The community is self-sufficient, creating a circle which supports each sector of training. So if you need a hair cut you go to the salon on premises, staffed by others living there. The butchery works with meats that were raised on site, the restaurant- teaching cooking, dishwashing, hospitality, uses this meat and the fruit and vegetables grown by the residents who have chosen to work in that sector. The graphic design for the menu is done by residents studying that... and so on and so on...
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
The invaluable lesson about blood tests and panels is one we ignore at our peril, and potentially death. I'm still stunned that I didn't get into cirrhosis, as my body was so damaged. I was finally done drinking when I faced my reality at that point and somehow came back from the brink. I can never take that for granted, to the point I don't take OTC meds or birth control pills bc of the liver damage potential. I ignored so (SO) much that my body was telling me for a long time.
Glad you made it back Mera.
Glad you made it back Mera.
The weekly urine tests sound like a good idea. One of the things that helped me was a sense of accountability I got from this website. If other people are going to know that goes a long way to silencing that little voice that just wants to drink no matter what.
I kept hoping you would post soon as I have been wondering how your custody battle has been going. I’m sorry to read you drank. But I’m so happy you’re safe and back.
This addiction stuff is quite the monster isn’t it? I feel like it’s lurking in the shadows waiting for me to slip, a moment of weakness to take hold of me again. So far, that fear combined with my daughter has kept the monster at bay.. but it’s there lurking.
Your share has has reminded me that my daughter is not enough to keep me straight and that we need something more to add to our recovery plan to stay straight.
I’m thinking of popping into my old AA meeting and bringing little one in tow. What do you think could be helpful to you that has worked in the past but maybe stopped doing or something new you can do? Your boys need you. My daughter needs me. We got to figure out how to kill that monster and I don’t think our babies our enough.
This addiction stuff is quite the monster isn’t it? I feel like it’s lurking in the shadows waiting for me to slip, a moment of weakness to take hold of me again. So far, that fear combined with my daughter has kept the monster at bay.. but it’s there lurking.
Your share has has reminded me that my daughter is not enough to keep me straight and that we need something more to add to our recovery plan to stay straight.
I’m thinking of popping into my old AA meeting and bringing little one in tow. What do you think could be helpful to you that has worked in the past but maybe stopped doing or something new you can do? Your boys need you. My daughter needs me. We got to figure out how to kill that monster and I don’t think our babies our enough.
I am glad you made it back Mera.
I don't see the point in beating yourself up - calling yourself weak etc - thats just so much AV food - it's good to learn from our mistakes but then it's healthy to face front again and move forward
D
I don't see the point in beating yourself up - calling yourself weak etc - thats just so much AV food - it's good to learn from our mistakes but then it's healthy to face front again and move forward
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
Sending you lots of hugs and support. Get back on that horse and ride forward. Things will work out, maybe not like we thought they should, but the way they needed. Brush yourself off and get back in the sober game. xoxo
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
So I went to the local drug and alcohol center yesterday as I had a relapse a couple of weeks back that ended in a hospital stay in the psych ward for a week. They came to visit me in the hospital to encourage me to return to their services even if I felt sure I wouldn't drink again.
They were so kind and amazing.
I signed up again to do the twice weekly urine tests. I told them that this had worked as a good deterrent for me in the past. Even if I went on my own, it wasn't court ordered, it gave me sort of a challenge when I had strong urges to drink. I wanted to keep up my perfect record. Obviously one needs to have care beyond that, but it worked well for me in hard times.
We spoke about all the tests I had done in the hospital and prior with them and that nothing was out of order with my liver, not one blood test out of normal range and no evidence of damage to my liver. I said, "yes, it seems I have a very strong body, I am always healthy on the medical exams, it is my brain being damaged" They agreed that I had a strong body but warned me to not let that information think I was safe from harm. They said that it is common to see liver damage that gradually gets worse, but they have also seen many people who are perfectly healthy on paper for years and years and then one day just nose dive into severe damage- like all the damage that shows up slowly in other people comes on all at once in others. So that is my second piece of advice/information, don't let good blood tests give you an escape or out to keep on going. It will more than likely catch up to you at some point.
The last bit of information I have is a medication I had never heard of. It works to help the body get rid of alcohol more quickly. It may be good to have on hand for emergencies. I am clean now but they said that there is also evidence that it helps with cravings and obsessive impulses to drink. They prescribed me this in combination with Campral which I have already taken before. Here is a link to the wiki site on the medication:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metadoxine
They were so kind and amazing.
I signed up again to do the twice weekly urine tests. I told them that this had worked as a good deterrent for me in the past. Even if I went on my own, it wasn't court ordered, it gave me sort of a challenge when I had strong urges to drink. I wanted to keep up my perfect record. Obviously one needs to have care beyond that, but it worked well for me in hard times.
We spoke about all the tests I had done in the hospital and prior with them and that nothing was out of order with my liver, not one blood test out of normal range and no evidence of damage to my liver. I said, "yes, it seems I have a very strong body, I am always healthy on the medical exams, it is my brain being damaged" They agreed that I had a strong body but warned me to not let that information think I was safe from harm. They said that it is common to see liver damage that gradually gets worse, but they have also seen many people who are perfectly healthy on paper for years and years and then one day just nose dive into severe damage- like all the damage that shows up slowly in other people comes on all at once in others. So that is my second piece of advice/information, don't let good blood tests give you an escape or out to keep on going. It will more than likely catch up to you at some point.
The last bit of information I have is a medication I had never heard of. It works to help the body get rid of alcohol more quickly. It may be good to have on hand for emergencies. I am clean now but they said that there is also evidence that it helps with cravings and obsessive impulses to drink. They prescribed me this in combination with Campral which I have already taken before. Here is a link to the wiki site on the medication:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metadoxine
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 104
Hi Mera
Hope you're doing OK, tough times = maybe after one step back the community would be two steps forward. And whatever happens with that you have the resilience, insight and commitment to move beyond that setback, as well, of course as the SR community rooting for you
Hope you're doing OK, tough times = maybe after one step back the community would be two steps forward. And whatever happens with that you have the resilience, insight and commitment to move beyond that setback, as well, of course as the SR community rooting for you
Well the one I hope to get into is much smaller and so they do not have all that I listed above. The one I linked above is huge and they have the ability and space to run all that. The one I will go to has educational opportunities and then links in the local community to find work.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
Those 'communities' sound amazing. We do have something similar near me, if I didn't have my nice home and dog I would definitely want to do that. A friend of mine lives there and it has saved her life. She sends me pictures of her filthy covered in mud with pigs and sheep looking like the happiest person on earth! I have found with each relapse I've learned something else.
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