To Scared to drink and too scared not to
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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I learn from people's experience, strength, and hope. From their experience, I learn that I am not alone. From their strength, I learn that recovery is doable. From their hope, I learn about aspirations. All three help feed an attitude of "why not me as well".
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by suki44883 
So, does that mean you aren't going to "go back to AA and really start pounding the AV?"
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Originally Posted by nez
I learn from people's experience, strength, and hope. From their experience, I learn that I am not alone. From their strength, I learn that recovery is doable. From their hope, I learn about aspirations. All three help feed an attitude of "why not me as well".
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Join Date: Sep 2019
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Originally Posted by tomsteve
sweeti, your drugging yourself to death as is.
IF youre serious, the go back to AA will have an exact date on it- like today.
choose TODAY. it wont kill you like the alcohol and valium are killing you.
IF youre serious, the go back to AA will have an exact date on it- like today.
choose TODAY. it wont kill you like the alcohol and valium are killing you.
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
Actually, it might just be what you need. Several weeks ago I made a very bad decision to relapse. I was devastated (and drunk) and I swallowed handfuls of pills. I am estimating a very large number, well near 100 or so. Thank god my attempt and ending everything didn't end well. I woke up the next morning but discovered I could not walk and was shaking so bad I could not unlock my phone. I also must have been hell on earth because the face recognition unlock wouldn't work. I was crawling around the house, desperate to live. I finally- after what may have been hours, unlocked my phone and was able to manage putting in the number for an ambulance. They came and after a long time of grasping the door knob I was able to lift myself up, and then after an even longer time steady my hand to put the key in the door to unlock it and reach the safety waiting for me. I went to the hospital and was set up in triage myself. I then had to spend the night in the critical observation room with about 25 other people also needing observation for various conditions. I then got moved to the psych ward and had a room for a week.
I tell you this, something very personal, devastating and embarrassing I had not intended on sharing, to come to the final point: I am so glad I called for help and am still here. I hate the hospital as much as anyone else but when there is no hope going it alone thank God they are there.
I tell you this, something very personal, devastating and embarrassing I had not intended on sharing, to come to the final point: I am so glad I called for help and am still here. I hate the hospital as much as anyone else but when there is no hope going it alone thank God they are there.
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 221
Worried for you Sweeti.. I hope you get help soon. You seem in a bad way.
You shared recently about not recognising your daughter when you saw her. I bet that was awful for you and her. Now imagine if you focused on your recovery and the relationships you could build.
I am the the daughter of an alcoholic that grew up in foster care. I’m now 30 and my mother is 56. When I was younger I would’ve done anything to have a relationship with my mother. She chose alcohol over me a thousand times over and that broke my heart. I would’ve given her so many chances and I would’ve supported her through anything.. until it was too late. If they’re young you still have a chance to salvage things.
Im not saying you need to do it for anyone else but do it for yourself. If you do not get proper help it only ends one way. No one wants that to happen.
You shared recently about not recognising your daughter when you saw her. I bet that was awful for you and her. Now imagine if you focused on your recovery and the relationships you could build.
I am the the daughter of an alcoholic that grew up in foster care. I’m now 30 and my mother is 56. When I was younger I would’ve done anything to have a relationship with my mother. She chose alcohol over me a thousand times over and that broke my heart. I would’ve given her so many chances and I would’ve supported her through anything.. until it was too late. If they’re young you still have a chance to salvage things.
Im not saying you need to do it for anyone else but do it for yourself. If you do not get proper help it only ends one way. No one wants that to happen.
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Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 96
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
~ L. A. Seneca
It is impossible for everything to be bad. At least you are alive, and that is always a good thing. But everything you think about can definitely be bad. There is a way out: adjust your thinking.
~ L. A. Seneca
It is impossible for everything to be bad. At least you are alive, and that is always a good thing. But everything you think about can definitely be bad. There is a way out: adjust your thinking.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by Epictetus
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
~ L. A. Seneca
It is impossible for everything to be bad. At least you are alive, and that is always a good thing. But everything you think about can definitely be bad. There is a way out: adjust your thinking.
~ L. A. Seneca
It is impossible for everything to be bad. At least you are alive, and that is always a good thing. But everything you think about can definitely be bad. There is a way out: adjust your thinking.
Add to that...stop drinking along with adjusting the thinking.
How are you today sweeti? Any meetings on the horizon?
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by noaddedsugar
Worried for you Sweeti.. I hope you get help soon. You seem in a bad way.
You shared recently about not recognising your daughter when you saw her. I bet that was awful for you and her. Now imagine if you focused on your recovery and the relationships you could build.
I am the the daughter of an alcoholic that grew up in foster care. I’m now 30 and my mother is 56. When I was younger I would’ve done anything to have a relationship with my mother. She chose alcohol over me a thousand times over and that broke my heart. I would’ve given her so many chances and I would’ve supported her through anything.. until it was too late. If they’re young you still have a chance to salvage things.
Im not saying you need to do it for anyone else but do it for yourself. If you do not get proper help it only ends one way. No one wants that to happen.
You shared recently about not recognising your daughter when you saw her. I bet that was awful for you and her. Now imagine if you focused on your recovery and the relationships you could build.
I am the the daughter of an alcoholic that grew up in foster care. I’m now 30 and my mother is 56. When I was younger I would’ve done anything to have a relationship with my mother. She chose alcohol over me a thousand times over and that broke my heart. I would’ve given her so many chances and I would’ve supported her through anything.. until it was too late. If they’re young you still have a chance to salvage things.
Im not saying you need to do it for anyone else but do it for yourself. If you do not get proper help it only ends one way. No one wants that to happen.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Originally Posted by Sweetichick2
Thank you for sharing your story. It's been six years since I have seen my youngest. I kept drinking through joint. çustody so I was choosing alcohol over her. I never thought of it like that.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Sweetie, have you tried calling the AA hotline and explaining your situation? I’m sure someone will come pick you up to make sure you make it to a meeting. Most members who volunteer their time would absolutely love helping a fellow alcoholic who is suffering. You won’t be a burden.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Posts have been removed under rule 4, and some posts replying to those posts.
I've asked many times for posts to be constructive here.
A small but persistent minority of you are not doing that.
Those who have had posts removed from this thread are not newcomers - they will have seen previous threads and my many previous requests for civil constructive posts.
so...if you suddenly find yourself banned from this thread you know why.
Sweetichick you need to do your part too - report posts you think break the rules - don't fire back at them here.
Drama is the last thing you need right now.
Dee
Administrator
SR
I've asked many times for posts to be constructive here.
A small but persistent minority of you are not doing that.
Those who have had posts removed from this thread are not newcomers - they will have seen previous threads and my many previous requests for civil constructive posts.
so...if you suddenly find yourself banned from this thread you know why.
Sweetichick you need to do your part too - report posts you think break the rules - don't fire back at them here.
Drama is the last thing you need right now.
Dee
Administrator
SR
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
I hope that you'll make an effort to get to a meeting tomorrow or as soon as possible sweetichick- set aside some taxi or uber money from your pay maybe?
It is important. I think it needs to be a priority.
If you won't go to detox or rehab AA seems about the only course open to you to fight the AV apart from SR?
D
It is important. I think it needs to be a priority.
If you won't go to detox or rehab AA seems about the only course open to you to fight the AV apart from SR?
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
I think that maybe you need to hear some of the tough love tho Sweetichick.
The only posts I'm removing are those that break the rules - abusive, name calling, too nasty, too snide, too insinuating.
Thats not helpful.
I'm not here to protect you from the truth tho.
Something needs to change with you.
Think about it - if AA is too hard, if getting to the Dr is too hard, if detox/rehab is too hard....if the only thing you're really prepared to do over and over again is drink some more, you're in real trouble, sweetichick.
That may be hard to hear...but its not nasty - it is straight talking delivered with love and concern.
If I can do that everyone else can too
D
The only posts I'm removing are those that break the rules - abusive, name calling, too nasty, too snide, too insinuating.
Thats not helpful.
I'm not here to protect you from the truth tho.
Something needs to change with you.
Think about it - if AA is too hard, if getting to the Dr is too hard, if detox/rehab is too hard....if the only thing you're really prepared to do over and over again is drink some more, you're in real trouble, sweetichick.
That may be hard to hear...but its not nasty - it is straight talking delivered with love and concern.
If I can do that everyone else can too
D
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,278
Sweeti do I remember correctly that you had said that your Dr thought you may have wet brain? Could this be the reason behind your inability to walk properly?
I really do hope you can get to AA or get yourself some serious medical help..
I really do hope you can get to AA or get yourself some serious medical help..
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