To Scared to drink and too scared not to
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by Sweetichick2 
White knuckling is hard. Sounds like you have a very busy life looking after all those animals and making lots of nutritious foods. Outpatient is taking forever but it’s onll one day every few weeks anyway. I see my gp doctor again today and my psychiatrist is ringing me. I am the same as you about the shower I now wear rubber thongs to make my feet stick to the floor of the shower.
Day 4 has dawned. I. Am feeling much more alert.. yesterday I slept the whole afternoon and night Shaking still there though but lessening. I have over 100 empty bottles to get rid of. Have a great evening. Time for more coffee.
Day 4 has dawned. I. Am feeling much more alert.. yesterday I slept the whole afternoon and night Shaking still there though but lessening. I have over 100 empty bottles to get rid of. Have a great evening. Time for more coffee.
Yup staying busy is a big thing for me. Staying busy keeps me out of trouble. Had a full day of cleaning out coops, cages and putting my garden to bed clearing dead plants & stacking tomato cages while the weather was nice. I went shopping very early this morning and made 2 lasagnes. One gluten free vegan for me (going to freeze some, not eat all of it myself at once lol) and a regular gooey, cheesey one for my hubs & son and to bring sons to my MIL.
I have to drive my hubs and my SIL to the airport at 2:30 am so I’ll likely still be up after your doctors appt. Check in and let us know how it went and how you are.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Good luck with the doctor today. Let us know how it goes.
Broken record: tell him everything and, if you need to, beg for help. See if he can help you get in somewhere. Any outside help you can get will be beneficial.
Hope your day goes well. Yay for day 4! Glad you're feeling better.
I just had a burrito for dinner. Delicious! Your day is starting while mine is winding down. Looking forward to hearing an update tomorrow.
Broken record: tell him everything and, if you need to, beg for help. See if he can help you get in somewhere. Any outside help you can get will be beneficial.
Hope your day goes well. Yay for day 4! Glad you're feeling better.
I just had a burrito for dinner. Delicious! Your day is starting while mine is winding down. Looking forward to hearing an update tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 534
I agree with everyone that says it's nice to hear from the"real" you. The difference in your posts is night and day.
Inpatient rehab would be great. Nutricious food, clean sheets, someone monitoring your meds and keeping an eye out for your physical well-being would make this so much easier.
Most places in the USA have an outdoor smoking area so I hope they'd let you at least vape there.
If not, the nicotine lozenges REALLY do help.
Sending you prayers.
Inpatient rehab would be great. Nutricious food, clean sheets, someone monitoring your meds and keeping an eye out for your physical well-being would make this so much easier.
Most places in the USA have an outdoor smoking area so I hope they'd let you at least vape there.
If not, the nicotine lozenges REALLY do help.
Sending you prayers.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 223
My psychiatrist is fully expecting me to relapse on payday in a weeks time. The cravings are really bad now..feel like I should just give up. My gp went okay.. Debating whether to just get the loan and have a couple.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 201
You’ve come this far Sweeti and your doing really well. Prove your psychiatrist wrong! You’ve got this!! A loan is really not a good idea and having a couple of drinks is even worse!! Your nearly over the worst of the withdrawals it can only get better from now on. Just keep posting you’ve got tons of support here.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,433
I'm really glad you didn't give in.
Every day gave me a reason - good or bad - to drink...but it got easier with the more sober time I had
Having said that - maybe you need to consider changing to another psych Dr?
You can still do that in the public system.
It may have been an attempt at reverse psychology on you, but it didn't work that way.
D
Every day gave me a reason - good or bad - to drink...but it got easier with the more sober time I had
Having said that - maybe you need to consider changing to another psych Dr?
You can still do that in the public system.
It may have been an attempt at reverse psychology on you, but it didn't work that way.
D
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
I just got back from dropping off at the airport. I’m happy to see you didn’t give in to the cravings. Each time you don’t give in makes you stronger and weakens the cravings. Someone else mentioned the urge surfing thread, have you seen it? It’s very helpful. Maybe Dee has the link handy. Have you been posting in the November class or the gratitude threads? Those are good spaces for positivity. How about those online meetings? I hope you don’t drink again because you got paid. You can’t fault your doctor for saying that. I think he’s pointing out a pattern that everyone here has seen too. Payday is trigger. While you’re waiting to hear about rehab, how about getting an Uber to a meeting. I’m sure people will gather around to lift you up during this difficult time surrounding payday certainly and thereafter. What other things can you add in your day instead of drinking? If you’re still not physically well to go out how about researching a new interest? I read for hours about projects I’m interested in. Helps pass the time in a constructive way plus learning new things is good for the brain. It’s fantastic that you posted about wanting to give in before doing so and then you made it through. That’s so great sweeti! Please keep doing that. You will beat this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,433
these links might help the next time you have a bad day sweeti, or an unaccountable desire to drink?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Sweeti,
I’m so glad you didn’t give in yesterday, you should be getting close to feeling less shaky, and a little more clear headed, that will only continue he to improve with time,
Your psychiatrist is calling out the pattern he/she has seen in the past, did they offer you any strategies to get through pay day? When is your outpatient appointment? You mentioned they also help get people into inpatient, what’s the process like for that to happen?
I’m just checking in quick before work, I’ll check back in later to see how you’re doing. Maybe you’ll be feeling well enough to get out for a little walk today.
I’m so glad you didn’t give in yesterday, you should be getting close to feeling less shaky, and a little more clear headed, that will only continue he to improve with time,
Your psychiatrist is calling out the pattern he/she has seen in the past, did they offer you any strategies to get through pay day? When is your outpatient appointment? You mentioned they also help get people into inpatient, what’s the process like for that to happen?
I’m just checking in quick before work, I’ll check back in later to see how you’re doing. Maybe you’ll be feeling well enough to get out for a little walk today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Santa Rosa CA
Posts: 240
Sweeti
I have been following your story as it mirrors my brothers journey.
Sadly he is losing the fight.
If he had stopped 2 years ago we would be in a different place.
Instead he is in Acute Care, with Cirrhosis, Hep C, Congestive Heart Failure, Cancer and Pneumonia.
He is no longer lucid and it is terrible to see. 100 lbs, screaming nonsense 24 hours a day, drooling and crapping/peeing his pants.
If his story can stop ONE PERSON from this fate then it well worth sharing
I implore you - SAVE YOUR LIFE
Your loved ones are hurting as well
I have been following your story as it mirrors my brothers journey.
Sadly he is losing the fight.
If he had stopped 2 years ago we would be in a different place.
Instead he is in Acute Care, with Cirrhosis, Hep C, Congestive Heart Failure, Cancer and Pneumonia.
He is no longer lucid and it is terrible to see. 100 lbs, screaming nonsense 24 hours a day, drooling and crapping/peeing his pants.
If his story can stop ONE PERSON from this fate then it well worth sharing
I implore you - SAVE YOUR LIFE
Your loved ones are hurting as well
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Originally Posted by Sweetichick2
Thanks for the encouragement Rain. You basically stopped me going.
To get sober, you have to stop drinking. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
It's also why it's so important to reach out, like you did.
And, long term, it's important to learn how to deal with life sober. That's why AA or rehab are worth looking into.
I hope your day goes well today.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Hi Sweeti,
My sponsor used to have me call her everyday. I thought it was stupid. But I did it anyway. You want to know what I eventually learned? That if I got used to calling her every day, I would get in the habit of it. Then I learned I could reach out before drinking. Sometimes I would drink anyway, but over time I did make it a habit to reach out and it eventually helped me get through the hard times until the obsession to drink left me. (Which didn't come by wishing for it, I had to work for it.)
Anyway, that's my long winded way of saying that maybe you should get in the habit of checking in here at certain times each day. Let's say as an example--morning, lunch, afternoon, evening, and before bed. It sounds like a lot, but do you think you could do that? Just a check in. To remind yourself that you want to stay sober.
It might develop the habit of putting sobriety first. That might be something worth considering if it's feasible.
What do you think? For a start?
Hoping you're ok. Please check in when you can.
My sponsor used to have me call her everyday. I thought it was stupid. But I did it anyway. You want to know what I eventually learned? That if I got used to calling her every day, I would get in the habit of it. Then I learned I could reach out before drinking. Sometimes I would drink anyway, but over time I did make it a habit to reach out and it eventually helped me get through the hard times until the obsession to drink left me. (Which didn't come by wishing for it, I had to work for it.)
Anyway, that's my long winded way of saying that maybe you should get in the habit of checking in here at certain times each day. Let's say as an example--morning, lunch, afternoon, evening, and before bed. It sounds like a lot, but do you think you could do that? Just a check in. To remind yourself that you want to stay sober.
It might develop the habit of putting sobriety first. That might be something worth considering if it's feasible.
What do you think? For a start?
Hoping you're ok. Please check in when you can.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
