One Day At A Time- Weekenders 11 - 14 October 2019
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
Thanks for the great start Mags
I am in!
I mentally managed early sobriety in increments. First a day, then a week, then a month. Then three months which was a quarter year. After that six months.
By then I was ready to commit to a year.
I’m in that process again due to a relapse earlier this year.
I feel good and the months are adding up again.
Mentally I need goals that build towards forever but that also have milestones where I can stop, look back at how far I’ve come, and then see the next goal in the shorter distance.
Leaving the booze behind as you move forward is the magic, however you count the days—
I am in!
I mentally managed early sobriety in increments. First a day, then a week, then a month. Then three months which was a quarter year. After that six months.
By then I was ready to commit to a year.
I’m in that process again due to a relapse earlier this year.
I feel good and the months are adding up again.
Mentally I need goals that build towards forever but that also have milestones where I can stop, look back at how far I’ve come, and then see the next goal in the shorter distance.
Leaving the booze behind as you move forward is the magic, however you count the days—
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,760
"goals that build towards forever" - I have my own retirement ahead of me. Maybe another 5 years yet, but I'm thinking about it, what I will be doing, and slowly working towards that. And I know that if I pick up again, I'll destroy that future.
What a miserable day today. Glad it's over. Wet heavy slush snow, and lot's of it. Big tree branches snapping due to the weight. Traffic is crawling everywhere. I got all the way to work before I realized I forgot my back pack. An hour wasted on the road. I got home to find my gazebo roof had collapsed. My fault really I should've taken it down before the snow. I got home late due to traffic and had to leave without supper to drive dear daughter to her training session (She's working the federal election). My Dad was a over a half hour late to our house and not answering his texts, so I drive over to find he had dropped his hearing aids in the snow. One was found, hopefully the other will show up when the snow melts. I deal with the cold soggy gazebo roof then back out on the road again to pick up dear daughter. At which time I realize I need gas. She's fifteen minutes late getting out, (And in her mental state that makes me worried). We pull up to the gas station and the wet heavy snow is blowing like crazy while I stand there and fill up. Coming back the road is blocked by a tree branch.... augh. So glad to be in bed. Just one more day and this week is over!
Ukulele class on Saturday - happy thoughts!
What a miserable day today. Glad it's over. Wet heavy slush snow, and lot's of it. Big tree branches snapping due to the weight. Traffic is crawling everywhere. I got all the way to work before I realized I forgot my back pack. An hour wasted on the road. I got home to find my gazebo roof had collapsed. My fault really I should've taken it down before the snow. I got home late due to traffic and had to leave without supper to drive dear daughter to her training session (She's working the federal election). My Dad was a over a half hour late to our house and not answering his texts, so I drive over to find he had dropped his hearing aids in the snow. One was found, hopefully the other will show up when the snow melts. I deal with the cold soggy gazebo roof then back out on the road again to pick up dear daughter. At which time I realize I need gas. She's fifteen minutes late getting out, (And in her mental state that makes me worried). We pull up to the gas station and the wet heavy snow is blowing like crazy while I stand there and fill up. Coming back the road is blocked by a tree branch.... augh. So glad to be in bed. Just one more day and this week is over!
Ukulele class on Saturday - happy thoughts!
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,677
Curiosity got the better of me and I looked at that fragile person’s posts (me) when I joined SR.
In the early days I was looking for reasons for my anxieties, not realising it was coming of the booze. Blamed everything except stopping, which although was a positive I needed to learn, much learning and understanding. I hadn’t even thought of recovery. Naively I thought I’d stop drinking and my world would be perfect.
I was given much help along the way and found these words by a very wise SR member.
The good news.
We sober up and see things as they are
The bad news.
We sober up and see things as they are
I have been told to not do anything major in the first year because while our mind is clearer it still is stablizing
Great advice to do nothing major in the first year.
In the early days I was looking for reasons for my anxieties, not realising it was coming of the booze. Blamed everything except stopping, which although was a positive I needed to learn, much learning and understanding. I hadn’t even thought of recovery. Naively I thought I’d stop drinking and my world would be perfect.
I was given much help along the way and found these words by a very wise SR member.
The good news.
We sober up and see things as they are
The bad news.
We sober up and see things as they are
I have been told to not do anything major in the first year because while our mind is clearer it still is stablizing
Great advice to do nothing major in the first year.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
I thought I had a bad day yesterday.
Then I read Dragon's post and decided I didn't
They were excellent first posts and it seems most have stuck to their guns from the moment you joined.
What's disheartening for me is despite 4000 posts over 3 years on the forum still relapsing and now at just under a month. If I could only get it right. Find the key. I have to make it work this time. I am considering going on a 5 week alcoholic rehab course shortly as I feel like I really have to follow up this time because my life has become unmanageable.
Yikes sorry for the rant.
Have a great sunny day weekenders
28°c forecast here
Then I read Dragon's post and decided I didn't
They were excellent first posts and it seems most have stuck to their guns from the moment you joined.
What's disheartening for me is despite 4000 posts over 3 years on the forum still relapsing and now at just under a month. If I could only get it right. Find the key. I have to make it work this time. I am considering going on a 5 week alcoholic rehab course shortly as I feel like I really have to follow up this time because my life has become unmanageable.
Yikes sorry for the rant.
Have a great sunny day weekenders
28°c forecast here
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
I am in for today. Day 6. I’m not wishing my life away, anything but (I’ve got plenty of meaningful stuff to do today) but... a day is too long for me. My drinking career almost always started between 2-6pm. So for me it’s less than a day...if I can get to 6pm, eat something nice, I’m safe. That’s a matter of hours, not a day
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Welcome to Weekenders Be123! One hour at a time gets you to bedtime and another day chalked up. Congratulations on reaching day 6.
Dragon that does sound like a rotten day, i'm sure today will be better.
All the best VMan, you have been sober for 99% of that time and your relapses have been short so you're almost there. As my first post says, I was 54 when I quit, I should have joined years before so don't get down on yourself for being here for three years and relapsing.
Dragon that does sound like a rotten day, i'm sure today will be better.
All the best VMan, you have been sober for 99% of that time and your relapses have been short so you're almost there. As my first post says, I was 54 when I quit, I should have joined years before so don't get down on yourself for being here for three years and relapsing.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 1,599
It's Friday night for me. I was a bit shaky at the end of the work day and seriously considered drinking, but I decided to go to an AA meeting and see if I still felt like drinking afterwards. In the meeting people talked about the massive life crisis they were facing without drinking, so I figured my only excuse to drink was because it was Friday. I reminded myself I've never woken up in the morning regretting NOT drinking. So now I'm home and eating haloumi fries. Happy weekend all.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Hi Mags! 
Hi weekenders!
I'd like to join in this weekend please.
I think it is easy to underestimate just how powerful a tool it is to tackle this thing one day at a time. As a newcomer I was (as many of us are I'm sure) utterly broken and hopeless. Sobriety seemed like a pipedream that I never thought I'd achieve. Be in no doubt I knew what I was but I was so far gone to my addiction that I simply couldn't see a way out. Until I did. One day at a time. In fact one minute at a time to start off with.
Some things are discussed so often here that they can be viewed as cliched but this simple little strategy can make such a massive difference to what is undoubtedly an absolutely massively significant and difficult journey.
It still gives me a little boost of pride every night when I get to bed sober. So strong is my faith in ODAAT I am glad to say I use it for many other things, It helps with my tendency to catastrophise and panic about the future. It grounds me to the now and allows me to function.
Anyhoo…...great topic Mags and have a lovely peaceful and sober weekend all
Hi weekenders!
I'd like to join in this weekend please.
I think it is easy to underestimate just how powerful a tool it is to tackle this thing one day at a time. As a newcomer I was (as many of us are I'm sure) utterly broken and hopeless. Sobriety seemed like a pipedream that I never thought I'd achieve. Be in no doubt I knew what I was but I was so far gone to my addiction that I simply couldn't see a way out. Until I did. One day at a time. In fact one minute at a time to start off with.
Some things are discussed so often here that they can be viewed as cliched but this simple little strategy can make such a massive difference to what is undoubtedly an absolutely massively significant and difficult journey.
It still gives me a little boost of pride every night when I get to bed sober. So strong is my faith in ODAAT I am glad to say I use it for many other things, It helps with my tendency to catastrophise and panic about the future. It grounds me to the now and allows me to function.
Anyhoo…...great topic Mags and have a lovely peaceful and sober weekend all
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Nice to see you here, Jo. I like what you said:
So strong is my faith in ODAAT I am glad to say I use it for many other things, It helps with my tendency to catastrophise and panic about the future. It grounds me to the now and allows me to function.
I have found this, also. When I get into a bad place in my head, worrying about the future and obsessing about things that haven't happened yet, or just feeling overwhelmed in general, I just get to the end of each day. I try to make lists of small things I can do TODAY to help ease the mental burden. Then I make a new list the next day. (Sometimes I have to do this in the middle of the night if I wake up and start worrying).
I don't need to use ODAAT to maintain sobriety anymore, but it does help me in my everyday life, even if I'm not conscious of it, really. Other things I learned doing the steps of AA help me every day, as well. One of my favorites is "when we were wrong, promptly admitted it." I had a chance to use that one yesterday. A dear co-worker and I had a minor squabble yesterday (both of us are overworked and overwhelmed at the moment) and I felt just awful after she sort of stormed off. I sat for a minute and figured out what my part in the altercation was, and after a little while, I composed what I was going to say and went and found her and apologized. She apologized also, and then we moved on. All is well. In that past that might have festered and become a source of resentment for both of us. I feel like the program has taught me how to actually be a grown-up.
So strong is my faith in ODAAT I am glad to say I use it for many other things, It helps with my tendency to catastrophise and panic about the future. It grounds me to the now and allows me to function.
I have found this, also. When I get into a bad place in my head, worrying about the future and obsessing about things that haven't happened yet, or just feeling overwhelmed in general, I just get to the end of each day. I try to make lists of small things I can do TODAY to help ease the mental burden. Then I make a new list the next day. (Sometimes I have to do this in the middle of the night if I wake up and start worrying).
I don't need to use ODAAT to maintain sobriety anymore, but it does help me in my everyday life, even if I'm not conscious of it, really. Other things I learned doing the steps of AA help me every day, as well. One of my favorites is "when we were wrong, promptly admitted it." I had a chance to use that one yesterday. A dear co-worker and I had a minor squabble yesterday (both of us are overworked and overwhelmed at the moment) and I felt just awful after she sort of stormed off. I sat for a minute and figured out what my part in the altercation was, and after a little while, I composed what I was going to say and went and found her and apologized. She apologized also, and then we moved on. All is well. In that past that might have festered and become a source of resentment for both of us. I feel like the program has taught me how to actually be a grown-up.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Good to see you jo!
And Kaily and Willow.
I was feeling really tired and looking forward to the weekend, so far so normal but I am coming down with manflu - sore throat, sore eyes and aches.
https://youtu.be/tlv98FlCbK0
Originally Posted by STDragon 
Missing Bim and Manta...
I was feeling really tired and looking forward to the weekend, so far so normal but I am coming down with manflu - sore throat, sore eyes and aches.
https://youtu.be/tlv98FlCbK0
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