Misssy2

Ouch! I know what it feels like to know that you "should have" asked for medical assistance. I feel this about my last detox as well....I have 3 weeks tomorrow..

I can't imagine being on a freaking plane feeling that way..Thank God you are home and in the mindset of wanting to stop drinking now...I hope you feel better soon...Alcohol is the devil that ravishes my body of everything good .

least

When I started drinking in 07, I threw away 20 yrs sober. I drank for about 2 yrs and then finally got sober for good, almost 10 yrs ago.

I hope you will tweak your program and work it like your life depends on it.

emme99

Nonsensical, I’m sorry to hear this. Your posts have always been helpful to me. I’m glad you’re back, and I’m wishing you the best.

Cosima11

Ah Vegas.. like an old lover I can now only wink at in passing but would be more than a fool to get back into bed with.

I also was not expecting this post from you. Although I have noticed you posted a lot when I first got here but haven't been around much lately. I think there's truth in the whole "you have to give it away to keep it" saying. I don't know what that entails for you but for me recognizing the permanence of my situation and knowing I'll likely permanently need to take some sort of actions (even if it's just reading or engaging in conversation with other people in recovery) has been key.

Nonsensical

Thanks for the kind words.
It was difficult to post here and admit that after advising thousands of people to starve their AVs I fed mine. I knew posting was the right thing to do, though, if for no other reason than my AV was telling me not to.

The plan going forward:
I have an appointment with my CBT Therapist on Monday
Back to the gym. Every. Day.
Some AA meetings. I've never been a 12-stepper, but the value of being around other people who understand the addiction cannot be overstated
Reading more here.
Expanding my community. I find helping others to be very satisfying. It gives me lasting joy that displaces my perceived need for temporary pleasure. Churches and charities always need people. And I need them.

It's the middle of the night here. My sleep cycle will likely be jacked up for the next week or so. Glad SR is open 24/7.

BeABetterMan

Obladi

Right on.

August252015

Really glad you have a plan. And you are right- sharing and telling on yourself to us was the right and honest thing to do. Proud of you.

wiscsober

Non...thank you for posting...always liked your posts...could have been tragic glad you made it back.

I can relate.

MLD51

Hey Nons -
Glad to see you made it back. Get back at it - you know what to do. I like your plan.

Your posts over the years have been so helpful to so many. And so was this one - as a reminder that the beast never dies, it just goes quiet to lull us into a false sense of security. Anytime I think to myself "I got this" something inevitably happens to remind me that I cannot get complacent or cocky. Yeah, I can stay sober with work and effort, but I'm really only one bad day away from letting the beast get the better of me. I don't live in fear, but I am aware that there's always a risk. I can never forget that. Your post is a good reminder.

Fusion

Well done for stopping so quickly. I had two and a half years sobriety, then drank: continued drinking which devolved into all day, every day. I nearly didn’t make it back. It was grim. I rejoined SR and fought back against the addiction. I regained. control. I also re-read, conincidentally, the most recent posts in your Blog on SR.

Anna

It sounds like you have a good plan in place.

ColoradoRocky

I'm thinking you'll make better friends, friends who have your best interests at heart, in AA than in Las Vegas.

I'm not a big 12-stepper, and I'm not a believer, but Step One was essential to me, and I don't know anyone, me included, who couldn't find tremendous value in Steps 4/5 and 10.

Sohard

Pouncer

Hey Non,

Hope you are doing better today. Glad you are alive.

I remember you well many years ago when I was getting sober and I read your insightful posts. I look up to you because you are self-confident and determined — and really honest..

Thank you for sharing this with us. I recently relapsed after years of being sober. It really scares me how much we addicts have to stay on top of the addiction. I also relapsed after going to an out-of-town event. The temptation to “get away with” something you’re not supposed to do is tempting.

silentrun

Argghhhhh! That sucks Non. Glad to see you made it back.

Venecia

Hi, Nons -- Just want to send support your way. There are a lot of strong shoulders to lean on on SR.

All the best.

Delilah1

Hi Nonsensical,

I’m so glad you posted, and that you’re back. You have been such a great support to so many on here, let us be a support to you. Why don’t you pop into the 24 hour thread each day, I feel like it’s a really supportive and helpful group.

❤️Delilah

Dee74

How goes it Nons?

D

nmd

Sorry to hear you drank Nons, but I'm glad to see you are back

There are times when I find being sober difficult or even boring. It certainly takes work and life has it's challenges, but active drinking is a horror. I've struggled for a number of years, picking up 13 months sober here, and 1, 2 or 3 months there. I've been very lucky, there's times when I should have been arrested and my health has been impacted but I'm still here and in one piece. Getting back on track after drinking is hard, but it's worth it. Drinking never really becomes an option, and it's easy to lose months and years in relapse.

Stick with us friend