taplow

Hi everyone, I've nearly completed my 2nd day without drinking. I was struggling yesterday and I thought I'd give in the next day. I'm never in the middle; I'm always finding it impossible or I'm in a place where I can't see what the problem is.
But I found today really easy because this morning I had an idea. I decided that drinking just wasn't an option. I must be definite that this is what I'm going to do. It's totally in my hands and if I can't stay sober then that means I don't want to stay sober. I don't know if this thinking breaks some cardinal rule.
Once I use words like hopefully or say how really I'm going to try then I've really decided that I want to drink and any token resistance is as useful as a stairlift in a bungalow.
Drinking is then a factor and it's going to win, but once it's not an option then there's no fight. If I - analogy warning - create the monster with doubt and continue to feed it by obsessive thought it's inevitable that it will do monster stuff.
I feel like I've got somewhere here. If I devote time to having these pointless internal arguments, wanting some kind of mental certainty over how I'm doing with regard to this or that, what use is it when I live in the here and now? Just get on with it.
It can't be that simple. It sounds like some get rich quick pyramid scheme run by extreme fundamentalists but I seem to have some clarity.
A good day.

Also,
I wanted to read someone's blogs I saw but when I tried I was informed that I don't have enough privileges. What does that mean please?
Best wishes everyone.

Anna

It could be that the member's blog is Private, Taplow.

Good job on Day 2!

Obladi

You're definitely on to something, Taplow. Have a read about AVRT - there's a sticky where you can start your journey down in "Secular Connections."

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post6851332 (AVRT Explained (long))

taplow

Obladi, I read the opening post of your link and it makes total sense to me.
Brilliant.

DriGuy

I think you have. Commitment is all important. Making drinking not an option is an important part of commitment. It's several steps more committed than hoping you won't drink or trying not to drink. It's off the table no matter who dies, or what promotion you get at work.

It's what I felt when I finally started to round the corner. I supplemented that with nightly meetings, in my case, AA, because going someplace to be around happy sober people was inspiring, and of course this took a big bite out of prime bar time too. One meeting seemed to get me through the next day, and then to the meeting at the end of that day.

Alternatively, you could be here for two hours a night, although I preferred the face to face contact. You may find a trick or two of your own. And you can share that here. Actually, you kind of discovered "off the table" on your own. We talk about it all the time, but it almost sounds like such a no brainer that others don't always get it, but there is a big difference between knowing it, saying it, and actually making it a part of yourself.

Two days is two days. Pretty soon it will be 5 days. At 20 days thoughts of drinking will start to be occasional passing farkels, and off the table will become an even bigger part of your recovery.

BeABetterMan

SoberCAH

We're delighted you're here, taplow.

I suggest that you explore (quickly) some due diligence efforts in finding and selecting a program of recovery.

Trying to out-think addiction seldom meets with success.

Getting help seems to yield better results.

For me, I sought treatment and it matriculated me into AA, where I have been a sober member for quite a while now.

Please keep us posted and congrats on your 2 days.

boreas

tap,
One thing that helped me early on was to remember why I had made the choice to put it down. I knew, with certainty, having proven it to myself again and again, what my life would be if I continued to drink. I did not know the what and how of sobriety, but the firm understanding of what inertia would get me was clear in my mind. Sobriety was the road less traveled, and it has exceeded my hopes. But in the early days, I had to remember that anything was better than continuing along the same path.

I started an electronic journal which is now full of memories of bad stuff, bits of wisdom from the folks here, and all those little forgotten things that, added together, equaled one big problem. The deal is, I would have to read it all before I could act on the urge to drink. One way of reminding myself.

Best wishes as you find your way...
-bora

fini

great to see you finding AVRT sounds like a possible good fit for you that makes sense .

Obladi

tap, if you follow that thread I sent you to the 2nd or perhaps 3rd thread, you will find a link to voluminous additional threads discussing AVRT.

silentrun

Straight fear of being an alcoholic took drinking off the table for me. I still had plenty of cravings though. I still almost fell for my own BS plenty. I had to totally change the way I looked at alcohol and drinking and that took a good couple of years confronting the old programming and replacing it. I spent hundreds of hours here working on it.

taplow

Thanks everyone on here.
I just wanted to add on something to my opening post. The title "Idle hands" doesn't seem to have much to do with it. I wandered away from that as I wrote it.
What I mean by it is that I seem to spend a lot of time ruminating - great word. That's a lot of time spent doing nothing other than having introspective thoughts - many concerning drinking. You know I'll think about how I should stop tomorrow or wait until Monday or I've got a holiday coming up or so it's not worth suffering now.......etc - all those internal battles wearing me down with justifications I'll inevitably surrender to.
The time I set aside in thinking about it keeps the thing alive. Whereas if I accept drinking is finished then there's no point in wrangling about it all.
I think that maybe it's because of my amazing talent for procrastination. I'm not busy doing things but spend a lot of time planning to do things. I think the act of accepting it's finished will give me a lot of energy and focus on living in the real world rather than wallowing in my own virtual one.
Anyway, I suppose I should cover myself and say how I hope I'll be lucky and how I'm going to try my best and don't expect too much to lessen the impact if I should post here in a few days shame faced after a heavy weekend drinking from a lager filled trough.
But no, I feel good about it; like St Paul on the road to Domestos.
Best wishes all.

Zanna

Morning You're on the right side of the weekend, to build up some sober muscles before then Build on those - give it a go this weekend at staying sober, hey if you don't like it, you can always work on an other stonkin hangover, the following one. Hopefully by then, the sober muscles will have shown you how peaceful and carefree, days can actually be
PS Don't forget the SR Arcade (up top) I mentioned it the other day and ended up going back down memory lane there - spent 6 flamin hours in it lol
Come on - you can do this!!

DriGuy

I'm big on introspection. It's kind of what the fearless searching moral inventory is in AA, but looks at your entire self. In psychology, it's called cognitive therapy, and I have gained a lot from it. I would never discourage introspection. It's monumentally valuable, but don't use it to procrastinate making the necessary behavior change you need. You need to do both. And either way, at some point, you will need to grab onto your chair and stop drinking for real.

dwtbd

I sense less edge ( lots less) in your posts of late , nice to see btw.

It seems that one thing that tends to get lost about AVRT ( huge AVRT-er here), is that it is not a brand new invention of a method for self recovery but is a studied distillation of the process of self recovery.

It's not " This is how to quit", much more : "this is what everyone who quit, with a capital q, quit did/does"

The sense of a renewed positivity in your postings , may well be the glimmer( ) edge of the ACE, the Abstinence Commitment Effect , looks good on ya

Keep going in those threads, rootin for ya , as always

fini

“Whereas if I accept drinking is finished then there's no point in wrangling about it all. ”
yes. i have found that to be so.
this does not preclude introspecting about all and sundry else that shows up for you.
in fact, much more to ruminate about showed up for me after i let go of the drinking.