ulfr

was at a dance tonight and there is free drink ???
was with my husband i went to get some food on my own
and the AV voices telling me to drink thought **** it dont care having flashbacks of the rape that happened 3 months ago
told my husband i wasnt feeling well and left early
once we got home i told him he not happy with me
DAY1 I KEEP ******* UP


Saw my psych a week ago am getting reffed to see if i can get trauma counselling
hopefully i get it but its a two year wait
i am a chronic relapser + drugs drink food cutting = borderline personality disorder = DEATH if i dont do something to help myself

Ghostlight1

I'm sorry for your situation.
Oddly enough, I've been in almost the same place. Dinner dancing and free booze.
And ya know what? I probably had six months sober at this time, getting an alcohol drink never crossed my mind.
I didn't even realize it till the next day, when I thought, Hey! I didn't drink.
I carry some pretty heavy emotional baggage with me, too, so you're not alone there.
You're not alone here, either. I see a psych also.
I was a chronic, mentally ill relapse for ten years after being diagnosed.
Help yourself if you can. You did what was right at the party. That's self-care and you should be proud. Please hang in there. Things will get better.
I understand your post.

Anna

I'm glad that you're being referred to a trauma counsellor. That sounds like what you need, and I really hope it happens quickly.

least

I hope you can get some help soon.

Dee74

I hope it happens quickly too. I'm sure if you pressed on them the urgency of this you could probably get in sooner?

As for free drink...yeah no such thing for me, or drinkers like me. I'd still be paying for that drink for weeks, months maybe years.

D

Zebra1275

For me, there is no such thing as a free drink.

I would pay for it dearly.

BeABetterMan

ulfr

day 3 today is going to be hard my minster is changing job at the hospital he is going to the kids hospital so i cant have one to ones with him anymore
i know i should be happy for him but i feel like am being abandoned he is my friend and i love him like a friend he will still be around but not in the same job see him at church but he will not be doing the groups this makes me want to self harm to not eat and to drink i want to say **** it and take drugs too but the last time i took drugs was when i was raped a few months ago dont want flashbacks because i could possibility trigger myself it my last appointment with him today

August252015

Piping in to send support and also....I didn't go anywhere that had alcohol for a good while.

Sorry about your friend and minister - like with outings and events, I had to put my sobriety before people.