And the cycle continues again and again and so forth
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 337
And the cycle continues again and again and so forth
I gave up 5 yrs ago done so well, went to government run meeting and stayed of for 14 months. I've been quite the stalker on here reading about people same as myself, well anyhoo, as title says I'm sick of this crap because that's what it is crap, my body is in pain. And I literally wretch when that drink goes down, but yet I force it in. I have a husband of 30 yrs who drinks maybe 5 beer a night. And is no help, mind you the lying has started from me again. Sorry for the long speel x
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
I'm sick of this crap too and my husband is useless! But I know it's up to me.
It sounds like you've got back to a scary level of drinking. Maybe getting some help to stop would be a good idea. You've done it before and I'm sure you can do it again
It sounds like you've got back to a scary level of drinking. Maybe getting some help to stop would be a good idea. You've done it before and I'm sure you can do it again
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome to the posting side of things, I'm glad you posted.
Yep, I wretched down my first shooter of whiskey at 8am, too. This was daily for about three years when things got really bad. And it does get bad. Worse.
As mentioned, can you get into the government program again?
There's AA, too, if you are so inclined.
Congratulations on those five years, that's awesome. You can do it again, I know you can. For good.
I drank over thirty years alcoholically and have been sober over ten so I know of what I speak.
You'll find a lot of support here. And your post wasn't long
Look at me run my mouth.
Just want you to know what you already know, you are not alone.
Yep, I wretched down my first shooter of whiskey at 8am, too. This was daily for about three years when things got really bad. And it does get bad. Worse.
As mentioned, can you get into the government program again?
There's AA, too, if you are so inclined.
Congratulations on those five years, that's awesome. You can do it again, I know you can. For good.
I drank over thirty years alcoholically and have been sober over ten so I know of what I speak.
You'll find a lot of support here. And your post wasn't long
Look at me run my mouth.
Just want you to know what you already know, you are not alone.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 337
The meetings were all through my gp, I have arthritis in most joints and am supposed to take some seriously strong medication but I stopped it, scared of death you see, isn't that a joke, my husband is no help at all. And I guilt my daughter into buying it for me, I know I'm a selfish old f.... R.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 259
I had that retching feeling at times to as I continued to try to continue my behavior. I see now that it was my body saying no way, it was poison that my body knew was not healthy. In my journey, the illness was very progressive and I started racking up consequences very quickly when I got to the point I was drinking even while feeling sick. You could try meetings. AA meetings are really helpful and you are surrounded with people just like you whom are very welcoming. Also being very present on boards like this one help. Journaling your negative feelings and experiences while you were having them will also help you to look back when you are tempted to drink after being back on track
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 337
Lily. I'm just gonna start day one tomorrow, OK I know its the weekend but for me everyday is the weekend. So tommorow it is, il be logging in early and making a vow to do my very best to get me back again I don't even like the taste of it. Coke zero tastes better. Wish me luck x
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I hear ya. I went seven months once and drank. Don't ask me why, there was no logical reason for it. I was doing my laundry.
I had other periods of sobriety, too. But kept relapsing. That's when, after one particularly bad binge, I realized I couldn't do it alone.
I called AA. They sent me an Angel.
I would drink again but it was never the same. Here where people as bad as me successfully abstaining from alcohol. I wanted what they had and was willing to go to any length to get it.
Finally, I did get it. I was told if I kept my self in order I could be given a daily reprieve from alcohol.
It's working.
Help is out there, Boggle. Avail yourself to it. For me it took action to quit. I couldn't get and stay sober sitting on the couch.
We're all here for you. We understand. You are not alone.
I had other periods of sobriety, too. But kept relapsing. That's when, after one particularly bad binge, I realized I couldn't do it alone.
I called AA. They sent me an Angel.
I would drink again but it was never the same. Here where people as bad as me successfully abstaining from alcohol. I wanted what they had and was willing to go to any length to get it.
Finally, I did get it. I was told if I kept my self in order I could be given a daily reprieve from alcohol.
It's working.
Help is out there, Boggle. Avail yourself to it. For me it took action to quit. I couldn't get and stay sober sitting on the couch.
We're all here for you. We understand. You are not alone.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 337
Lily
I'm defiantly going to be back. I'm a crafter, sewing and felting but when the drink is in. I can not be bothered at all. I don't even know how to show my work on here but, anyhoo I want to get back to that, I live in a small village. And aa is 10 miles away and I've no car. I'm gonna have to depend on this site and you guys x
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Well, we're glad to have you here. And I hope it's enough to keep you sober, too.
It's all I use as of now. I've been sober ten years nine months, by the way.
So keep coming back here, you'll find a lot of support.
It's all I use as of now. I've been sober ten years nine months, by the way.
So keep coming back here, you'll find a lot of support.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 337
Ghost, I'm so grateful your off this demon for so long. When I was off. as I said my husband is useless, I'd be doing the shopping and on his list was beer, or I'm for the shop for milk, you want anything. Yes bring me beer, he will then have the cheek to say to me when he gets home from work" we're you drinking the day" my answer is normally no, yes I know I'm telling lies, but he goes on to drink his beer, sometimes I'd love to punch that s.. T, but I won't
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
It must be frustrating and trying having your husband drink a lot while you're trying to quit.
I don't think a relationship like that would work with me. Although I have lots of friends who drink. One of whom I buy beer for when he comes over. But that doesn't bother me.
I guess you're used to your husband's drinking? Do you think it'll make it harder for you to quit? Yes. don't punch him
Punch alcohol instead. A good one and be done with it.
Are you going to drink today? If it's any of my business.
I don't think a relationship like that would work with me. Although I have lots of friends who drink. One of whom I buy beer for when he comes over. But that doesn't bother me.
I guess you're used to your husband's drinking? Do you think it'll make it harder for you to quit? Yes. don't punch him
Punch alcohol instead. A good one and be done with it.
Are you going to drink today? If it's any of my business.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,942
Originally Posted by Ghostlight1 
It must be frustrating and trying having your husband drink a lot while you're trying to quit..
Can your husband quit, Boggle, or at least cut down? It’d be a great thing to do together.
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,668
Welcome Boggle. Check out the Class of October 2019 thread. Like having a 'home group'. I joined C/O March '16 and post there still most days. I have made seriously good friends here at SR.
Support to you.
Support to you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 337
So here it is, my day one, I've got the mindset to do this because I'm sick of feeling sick, my husband hasn't got a problem so he says. But I told him last night that I had, and was going to do something about it, so either he helped me or I'd get help elsewhere, so here I am taking accountability for my drinking, my face is bloated eyes all red. But at least I don't fancy another drink, poured out what I had left.
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