BeABetterMan

drank after 60 something days...I’m alone when I’m sober and alone when I’m drunk...what’s the difference?

Atlast9999

ColoradoRocky

Hiya, Man

Sixty days isn't long enough to work on being alone; at 60 days we are barely getting our feet back under us. I don't know if you're doing anything beside drinking, but if you are it all has to stop. Me, I was "just" a drinker.

Give it another try, and make it long enough to where you see the difference so clearly you'd never want to drink again. It took me five minutes into my first AA meeting, but it usually takes several months.

I know what I'm talking about, Man. I haven't had a drink in some time and I still feel painfully alone at times even around other people, even my own family believe it or not.

But it isn't anywhere near as bad as when I was drinking, and, and, oh by the way, I'm still alive and around family and other people, which I wouldn't be if I had kept drinking.

BeABetterMan

ColoradoRocky

I understand only too well.

brighterday1234

Soturi

Hi, BetterMan. The difference is, when you're alone and sober, your organs aren't screaming for mercy. Your head is clear. You're alert.
You can do this. You have done it, just do it again.

Ghostlight1

I'm sorry you drank after sixty days, and I'm soorry you're so alone.
Believe me, I know that way of life well.
I'm usually alone. If I didn't find myself entertaining I would have lost my mind years ago.
I, in the end, drank alone, too. Except for the occasional trip to a bar. But mostly alone.
I'm alone now. I've been sober over ten years and I'm still mostly alone.
Alone but not lonely. I can go somewhere now, I'm not too hungover to leave the house.
I'm not in bed recovering from the last binge.
If I don't want to be alone, I don't have to. I have a choice now in sobriety.

I've found a man can be as alone as he wants to be. Sober.
As I said, I know how you feel and alcohol only made me more isolated and alone.
Best to you my friend. You're not alone here.

BackandScared

Really sorry to hear this BBM,
I remember the recent thread where you were warned that you were heading this direction. What I gather from reading you is that a lot of your loneliness is closely related to your drinking. How are you going to resolve it? By drinking? Are you going to stop now so you can drive to work on Monday? Are you going to risk your job?

I hope you find a way out.

least

I'm sorry to hear that you drank and sorry you're feeling so alone.

August252015

Hate to hear this - same thoughts as Back and Scared asked.

KTB5000

Sorry you are feeling alone...
They are right, it's not possible to build a life when drinking.. Everything comes crashing down quickly and painfully.

We will all leave this world the same way, but that's not an excuse to say f*# it...

I went back out after over 4 months sober and even though I still feel terrible and sick from bingeing this past week, I'm clear about one thing -- that drinking will never solve any problems im experiencing in life. Once I forgot that's when I allowed myself to pick up. Insidious is the nature of this alcoholism and we must hold tightly to our sobriety and cherish it.

Nothing gets better with drinking; please stay sober with us. There are so many more possibilities and pleasant surprises in a life without destroying your mind, body & soul with alcohol. I'm deciding to not drink today and I hope you will too BBM.

Callas

Drinking you have absolutely no chance of a different life. Sober you do, but not after sixty days. I am 7 months sober and only now starting to very slowly build a different life. I still keep socialising to a minimum. People are not that helpful in early sobriety. We need to find sober peace with ourselves first. Take it easy and be kind to yourself.

doggonecarl

Drunk there is nothing you can do to deal with the loneliness. Sober you can. And if you weren't doing anything to relieve the loneliness, why not?

gypsytears

It’s unfortunate that you drank after 2 months. You’ve posted about being lonely before. What is it about being lonely that caused you to drink? Are you still going to meetings? Surely there are some men there you could talk to in your AA group. Raise your hand. Ask for numbers again. You have your kids. You aren’t alone when they’re around at least.

Macaroni1234

Hugs to you

Macaroni1234

I am lonely too. Only I can fix it. Planning on reaching out this week. I’ve always felt an existential loneliness even as a child. We all care about you.

abgator

I feel ya. That's where my head was at each time I relapsed.

abgator

No offense, but the way he's going to read that is probably going to just **** him off lol. I know because I kinda feel the same way. How do you know what he is or isn't doing? And I'd put money on it that by loneliness, he means a woman. The kind of company and feelings that friends, family, AA folks, and even your kids can't provide.

BeABetterMan