Hi Sweeti,

I’ve been following your story for years (under a different handle). I can relate to your story as it’s taken me over ten years with every excuse in the book and repeated trying to finally get the 166 days I have under my belt. I had to stop making excuses and take responsibility for my actions. There is no excuse for keeping anyone from something they want. For the first time in my life I can finally say I “choose” to never drink again. Because that’s what it is for me, a choice. I choose to live. I haven’t posted much in awhile as my sober life keeps me incredibly busy. But I do read here almost everyday. I attend online meetings everyday. I think you could definitely benefit from that. I pray that you can get to this point as well. I felt like a hopeless alcoholic. Drinking and binging and then sobering up for a few days with some Ativan only to pick up when I felt better. That cycle lasted a good ten years if not more. But unlike you, I wasn’t brave enough to post my struggles and was not transparent. I do commend you for always coming back and posting, no matter what. I was too afraid to hear the truth. The fact that you keep coming back shows me that you really do want to be sober, but addiction has taken such a strong hold on you that you’re barely digging yourself out of the hole and this makes me incredibly sad because I know that feeling. I think I can speak for the majority of us when I say that one of my fears is that one day you will stop posting. One day we will stop hearing from you. Years will go by and we will all know deep down inside why you never came back. Please make the turn around now. I promise you, you will never regret it. There is a beautiful life beyond the pain. The pain may never go away but it’s much easier to deal with when you are not staring down the bottom of a bottle. Your girls are still young. There is still so much time to make amends and prove to them that you want to be part of their lives. If you can’t do this for you right now, do it for them. I’m forty and I can tell you one of the biggest triggers for my drinking was an absent parent who chose something else over me. Don’t let alcoholism be the only legacy you leave your children. History has a funny way of repeating itself. You can do this. I know you can. Much love, Sweeti.

Well done for 7 days Sweeti I know payday is your trigger zone so keep posting & working on your recovery plan and I look forward to reading your 14 day post! X

Keeping busy is good in early sobriety but I think you need to do a little more than keep busy. Since you won’t be buying any more alcohol perhaps you can use that saved money to get to some AA meetings?

Maybe call the hotline and arrange a ride?

Do you have anything else planned for your recovery? Have you thought about what could help you stay stopped?

Remember money is no good to you if your dead or in hospice. Maybe it might be okay to spend that money on securing your recovery and check in to a rehab? Perhaps one you have not attended?

How can you do things differently this time in order to ensure your sobriety? Old ways weren’t working and I’m not sure if you’re doing or planning on doing anything new.