Want to buy a bottle
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,382
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,382
The second link about HADs (which is not Biala but the RBH) is the one I think you should look at
Following an initial assessment, support will be provided through an admission to HADS, referral to a community alcohol and other drug service (AODS) or non-government agency. While in hospital there is support to withdraw from alcohol or other drugs through a medication regime, supportive counselling and group programme. We provide support to plan the next steps before leaving HADS which may include residential rehabilitation or accessing local supports or AODS within the community.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Hi Sweeti, you say you’ve been in rehab 8 times, one costing 50,000 for two months. What did you learn in all those rehabs, Sweeti, that you can put into action now, and get past your previous, recent best of 8 days? Because Sweeti, honestly, you’re doing the worst part, a week, over and over again.
If there’s a free detox and rehab, if you’re still drinking, I’d take it, the next time you drink again......
Fear didn’t help me, Sweeti, I was petrified, liver and ascites and other signs a few years ago, but I found fear only drove me to drink, to drown out the fear!
What about staying sober now, beyond 8 days. I stopped with RR/AVRT, but I know you’ve read those threads and they mustn’t have resonated. You’ve mentioned AA frequently, so have you worked the AA steps before, Sweeti, they can be adapted for your circumstances, if you don’t believe in a God. Plus, just to reiterate Sweeti, can you think back and remember what you learnt in your last 8 rehabs, that you could apply now?
If there’s a free detox and rehab, if you’re still drinking, I’d take it, the next time you drink again......
Fear didn’t help me, Sweeti, I was petrified, liver and ascites and other signs a few years ago, but I found fear only drove me to drink, to drown out the fear!
What about staying sober now, beyond 8 days. I stopped with RR/AVRT, but I know you’ve read those threads and they mustn’t have resonated. You’ve mentioned AA frequently, so have you worked the AA steps before, Sweeti, they can be adapted for your circumstances, if you don’t believe in a God. Plus, just to reiterate Sweeti, can you think back and remember what you learnt in your last 8 rehabs, that you could apply now?
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Sweeti, you're not making sense. In one post, you say under no circumstances will you go to rehab and in the next you say you'll ring one up.
The second rehab Dee mentions says it will detox you of drugs or alcohol and you can't go because you're sober. But you've been coping with valium. That's a drug, sweeti.
I don't intend to or want to argue with you. I want you to see that you really really need help. Please push past your stubbornness and give yourself a chance.
O
The second rehab Dee mentions says it will detox you of drugs or alcohol and you can't go because you're sober. But you've been coping with valium. That's a drug, sweeti.
I don't intend to or want to argue with you. I want you to see that you really really need help. Please push past your stubbornness and give yourself a chance.
O
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
When I quit drinking, I did s few sober months here and there previously. I subscribe to the anyone can do anything for a month view. So I quit for a month, then decided I would go three months, then 6, then a year. Right now I am in the I won't drink for a decade mindset. If forever seems too long, too insurmountable a goal, adjust it. Telling yourself, it's only 30 days, makes it easy. The trick for me, was to extend the goal before it ended, at 2 weeks, pledge 3 months, at 2 months 6, et al.
Do not be afraid to call in professional help, I have a counselor I call. My mom is a witch, I need to work on my coping skills, I feel overwhelmed, I need help sorting through my feelings. That's their job. I don't fix my own cars, I don't fix crap around my house, because I don't know how. I call professionals. Recovery is no different. You can't do it alone. I personally do not know why you would want to. I have s skin tag I want removed, I will get my dermatologist to do it, I'm not sitting at home with an exacto knife and polysporin. Get help, call your doctor, your psychiatrist, go stalker call them until you get help. Meanwhile commit to a length of time that isn't the insurmountable forever. A month is easy, 30 days, nothing to it. Read everything you can on kindling, PAWS, cognitive therapy, (my personal fave), rational recovery, frig netflix, there isn't a gall darn thing worth watching on television, except the news and the markets.
Plus Netflix is about to go down the tubes, between Apple and Disney, streaming is about to completely change. You don't have to get out and volunteer, but maybe go for a walk, stop driving for a while, but psycho call your doctors, they will move mountains to help you, if they believe you want to help yourself.
Do not be afraid to call in professional help, I have a counselor I call. My mom is a witch, I need to work on my coping skills, I feel overwhelmed, I need help sorting through my feelings. That's their job. I don't fix my own cars, I don't fix crap around my house, because I don't know how. I call professionals. Recovery is no different. You can't do it alone. I personally do not know why you would want to. I have s skin tag I want removed, I will get my dermatologist to do it, I'm not sitting at home with an exacto knife and polysporin. Get help, call your doctor, your psychiatrist, go stalker call them until you get help. Meanwhile commit to a length of time that isn't the insurmountable forever. A month is easy, 30 days, nothing to it. Read everything you can on kindling, PAWS, cognitive therapy, (my personal fave), rational recovery, frig netflix, there isn't a gall darn thing worth watching on television, except the news and the markets.
Plus Netflix is about to go down the tubes, between Apple and Disney, streaming is about to completely change. You don't have to get out and volunteer, but maybe go for a walk, stop driving for a while, but psycho call your doctors, they will move mountains to help you, if they believe you want to help yourself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
how long ago was your last residential treatment program, sweeti?
no one here is suggesting that rehab will FIX you, but it is your best chance to get some protected alcohol free space and to absorb every moment, every meeting, every interaction, and truly make a CHANGE to your thinking and living skills.
treatment must be immediately followed up with a solid daily program - outpatient, AA, some combination, and then it is up to you to follow through. no one and nothing can keep you from drinking, but if you fully embrace WHAT sobriety means, and choose recovery for life, you will have a good foundation.
but you have to want help, accept help and then accept responsibility for your recovery.
no one here is suggesting that rehab will FIX you, but it is your best chance to get some protected alcohol free space and to absorb every moment, every meeting, every interaction, and truly make a CHANGE to your thinking and living skills.
treatment must be immediately followed up with a solid daily program - outpatient, AA, some combination, and then it is up to you to follow through. no one and nothing can keep you from drinking, but if you fully embrace WHAT sobriety means, and choose recovery for life, you will have a good foundation.
but you have to want help, accept help and then accept responsibility for your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 108
If u stuff up I'll go straight there? Isn't that setting yourself up for failure? The thought of failing shouldn't be in your head. I wish you the best but waiting to relapse in order to go to rehab seems like a waste of time. Just go. You need it badly.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by Sweetichick2 
I won’t be going to rehab. If it was free it would be different. I have already been to about 8. It won’t change my life and I still have to come home. My parents paid $5000 for a 2 month one. I have too many health problems and need my regular doctors. I have met people in Aa who said they got more out of Aa than rehab. The fear of a nursing home is keeping me sober. Plus keeping my license.
I am tired of all the arguments. Plus I started smoking in rehab. It was a nightmare to give up. Thank you all for your concern. Iam on welfare so every cent counts.
I am tired of all the arguments. Plus I started smoking in rehab. It was a nightmare to give up. Thank you all for your concern. Iam on welfare so every cent counts.
Fear is a good kickstart but it obviously hasn’t sustained your resolve to get/stay sober. And, you’ve admitted to driving after drinking. You said recently you were “dobbed”? I had to look that up but I gather it means someone reported you were driving drunk?
I understand you’re on a fixed income so an expensive rehab does sound like a large expenditure but you have the superfund. You could use it if you really wanted to. Not going because you picked up smoking in a rehab and it was a nightmare to give up isn’t a good reason not to go. Plus... you said your vape broke and you bought cigarettes just the other day. Vaping/ buying smokes doesn’t sound like you’ve quit smoking to me. If every cent counts then how can you keep buying alcohol? It just doesn’t make sense.
I’m not trying to argue with you so please read my posts with the understanding that I do care. You have a ton of support here. People share, make suggestions, question... it’s called communication.
I hope you make some calls to the places Dee linked to. I hope you talk to your doctors. I hope you get off Valium. I hope you don’t drink and make some decisions on how to ensure that. I hope you stay close to the forums. Really I hope that you decide to live most of all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 283
hi Sweetichick
i used to frequent these boards back in 2013/14. i was a rock-bottom, lost everything round-the-clock drunk. i drove drunk, i went to work drunk, i attempted to parent my kid drunk. i had to drink mouthwash just to get straight enough in the morning to get to the shop for booze.
in the end, i lost the job, my kid, my marriage, my home and at the very end, i almost died. i too was stuck in the cycle of drink, withdraw, wait for money, drink....and round and round it went, until i found myself collapsed in the dark hallway of my flat, not knowing if it was night or day (much less what day it even was), and watching my heart beat out of my chest.
i wanted to share my experience with you, including the struggles i faced, and still do, along with my chronic alcoholism.
i first got pass-out drunk aged 8. from there on out, my ‘parents’ included me in the Friday night drinks run, buying me bottles of strong lager. i had my first blackout at 13. by 15 i was hanging out with the street drinkers, downing strong cider and smoking weed. my life was already out of control, but with alcoholic parents, i never stood a chance.
my life was blighted by booze - from my permanently drunk, aggressive and occasionally violent parents, to my ‘partying’ where i was guaranteed to be the most out of control person there. i quit booze for 3 months in 1997, and then again for 9 months when pregnant with my daughter in 1999/2000.
i have spent time in mental hospitals, had detoxes, suicide attempts, police welfare checks called in by my sister in the next county. i was in and out of AA, but still drinking. i didn’t believe i was worth any different than this dreadful half-life of drinking.
i am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, OCD, eating disorders. i am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. i also have widespread arthritis, and my thyroid doesn’t work. i’m 46 years old.
i haven’t had a drink in 5 and a half years. in that time, i have been through a nasty divorce, lived with a man who turned out to be an alcoholic, lost my father to vascular dementia, and find myself starting life alone, again. my child has cut contact with me again due to the behaviours of my ex-partner. i have now left that house and relationship, but my daughter remains estranged.
i haven’t picked up a drink, because if i do, i will die.
in my case, AA saved my life. the fellowship held me through the bad times, but the programme got me sober and, crucially, taught me how to live sober.
my life is hard. i miss my kid, i’m on disability benefits, my home is now a tiny studio apartment. i haven’t picked up a drink.
can you see what i’m hoping to get across, here? if i can get sober, anyone can. you can. but, only you can save yourself.
there is no requirement for membership of AA other than a desire to stop drinking. you know the deal, you say you’ve been to hundreds of meetings. even if you think the programme is horsesh1t, even if right now you have no concept of a higher power - these things are not stopping you from attending what is basically free therapy, in the company of people who do understand your pain.
you have to believe that you are worth saving. my life has been hard, it still is. you are at the tipping point, but for some reason you don’t care. why? have you discussed this with your psych team, your doctors? what’s the underlying reason that you don’t believe you are worth saving?
because, you ARE worth saving. you have worth. you deserve better. but only you can save yourself. i’ve followed your story over the years, and so much of it resonates with me. i am living sober, and aside from my amazing child, it’s the best thing i’ve ever done. it’s the only thing i’ve ever done just for me.
please, sweeti, you need to get off the elevator now. rock bottom is for now where you choose it to be. you are reaching the point where you will have no choices about the outcome of your continued, unchecked alcoholism.
everything i’ve said comes from a place of love and care. i wish you well, and i sincerely hope that you can get well.
you are worth it. you need to believe that. once you have that, you can be free.
i used to frequent these boards back in 2013/14. i was a rock-bottom, lost everything round-the-clock drunk. i drove drunk, i went to work drunk, i attempted to parent my kid drunk. i had to drink mouthwash just to get straight enough in the morning to get to the shop for booze.
in the end, i lost the job, my kid, my marriage, my home and at the very end, i almost died. i too was stuck in the cycle of drink, withdraw, wait for money, drink....and round and round it went, until i found myself collapsed in the dark hallway of my flat, not knowing if it was night or day (much less what day it even was), and watching my heart beat out of my chest.
i wanted to share my experience with you, including the struggles i faced, and still do, along with my chronic alcoholism.
i first got pass-out drunk aged 8. from there on out, my ‘parents’ included me in the Friday night drinks run, buying me bottles of strong lager. i had my first blackout at 13. by 15 i was hanging out with the street drinkers, downing strong cider and smoking weed. my life was already out of control, but with alcoholic parents, i never stood a chance.
my life was blighted by booze - from my permanently drunk, aggressive and occasionally violent parents, to my ‘partying’ where i was guaranteed to be the most out of control person there. i quit booze for 3 months in 1997, and then again for 9 months when pregnant with my daughter in 1999/2000.
i have spent time in mental hospitals, had detoxes, suicide attempts, police welfare checks called in by my sister in the next county. i was in and out of AA, but still drinking. i didn’t believe i was worth any different than this dreadful half-life of drinking.
i am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, OCD, eating disorders. i am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. i also have widespread arthritis, and my thyroid doesn’t work. i’m 46 years old.
i haven’t had a drink in 5 and a half years. in that time, i have been through a nasty divorce, lived with a man who turned out to be an alcoholic, lost my father to vascular dementia, and find myself starting life alone, again. my child has cut contact with me again due to the behaviours of my ex-partner. i have now left that house and relationship, but my daughter remains estranged.
i haven’t picked up a drink, because if i do, i will die.
in my case, AA saved my life. the fellowship held me through the bad times, but the programme got me sober and, crucially, taught me how to live sober.
my life is hard. i miss my kid, i’m on disability benefits, my home is now a tiny studio apartment. i haven’t picked up a drink.
can you see what i’m hoping to get across, here? if i can get sober, anyone can. you can. but, only you can save yourself.
there is no requirement for membership of AA other than a desire to stop drinking. you know the deal, you say you’ve been to hundreds of meetings. even if you think the programme is horsesh1t, even if right now you have no concept of a higher power - these things are not stopping you from attending what is basically free therapy, in the company of people who do understand your pain.
you have to believe that you are worth saving. my life has been hard, it still is. you are at the tipping point, but for some reason you don’t care. why? have you discussed this with your psych team, your doctors? what’s the underlying reason that you don’t believe you are worth saving?
because, you ARE worth saving. you have worth. you deserve better. but only you can save yourself. i’ve followed your story over the years, and so much of it resonates with me. i am living sober, and aside from my amazing child, it’s the best thing i’ve ever done. it’s the only thing i’ve ever done just for me.
please, sweeti, you need to get off the elevator now. rock bottom is for now where you choose it to be. you are reaching the point where you will have no choices about the outcome of your continued, unchecked alcoholism.
everything i’ve said comes from a place of love and care. i wish you well, and i sincerely hope that you can get well.
you are worth it. you need to believe that. once you have that, you can be free.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 534
Alcohol and Valium, mixed with your Bi-Polar medicines, can cause all kinds of horrible side effects.
Have you HONESTLY told your Dr. how much you are drinking? I wonder if he's prescribing the Valium to help with the mania sometimes associated with Bi-Polar and not just to help you with alcohol withdrawals.
You have severe medical issues, none of which abusing Valium and alcohol are helping. I genuinely hope you will get into rehab so you can survive.
Have you HONESTLY told your Dr. how much you are drinking? I wonder if he's prescribing the Valium to help with the mania sometimes associated with Bi-Polar and not just to help you with alcohol withdrawals.
You have severe medical issues, none of which abusing Valium and alcohol are helping. I genuinely hope you will get into rehab so you can survive.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Zevin, Sweetie has already told us that the Valium is being prescribed for panic attacks and should only be taken if one happens. They are not being prescribed for alcohol withdrawal or as part of the psychiatric medication to manage the BPD. My concern for you Sweetie is that I feel you may be telling the Dr that your having panic attacks and need them but using them for a completely different reason, if your Dr knew how you were taking them I think things would change and he could actually help you more appropriately.
The biggest danger for someone with peripheral neuropathy caused by diabetes is to drink alcohol. It’s well documented and can make the symptoms 100 times worse. Slips, trips and falls, confusion and dizziness are ramped up if you drink with this condition. Alcohol could also make the condition irreversible.
The reason treatment, AA, rehab, therapy, support, advice is not working for you Sweetie is because you haven’t accepted that you have to make the effort and fix yourself, you have to decide you are no longer going to be a slave to substances,.
The day you decide to do whatever it takes is the day all those things above will start working for you.
All those resources will be there for you when you are ready to take full advantage of them. I just hope you do before the choice is taken away from you. x
The biggest danger for someone with peripheral neuropathy caused by diabetes is to drink alcohol. It’s well documented and can make the symptoms 100 times worse. Slips, trips and falls, confusion and dizziness are ramped up if you drink with this condition. Alcohol could also make the condition irreversible.
The reason treatment, AA, rehab, therapy, support, advice is not working for you Sweetie is because you haven’t accepted that you have to make the effort and fix yourself, you have to decide you are no longer going to be a slave to substances,.
The day you decide to do whatever it takes is the day all those things above will start working for you.
All those resources will be there for you when you are ready to take full advantage of them. I just hope you do before the choice is taken away from you. x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by MantaLady
Zevin, Sweetie has already told us that the Valium is being prescribed for panic attacks and should only be taken if one happens. They are not being prescribed for alcohol withdrawal or as part of the psychiatric medication to manage the BPD. My concern for you Sweetie is that I feel you may be telling the Dr that your having panic attacks and need them but using them for a completely different reason, if your Dr knew how you were taking them I think things would change and he could actually help you more appropriately.
The biggest danger for someone with peripheral neuropathy caused by diabetes is to drink alcohol. It’s well documented and can make the symptoms 100 times worse. Slips, trips and falls, confusion and dizziness are ramped up if you drink with this condition. Alcohol could also make the condition irreversible.
The reason treatment, AA, rehab, therapy, support, advice is not working for you Sweetie is because you haven’t accepted that you have to make the effort and fix yourself, you have to decide you are no longer going to be a slave to substances,.
The day you decide to do whatever it takes is the day all those things above will start working for you.
All those resources will be there for you when you are ready to take full advantage of them. I just hope you do before the choice is taken away from you. x
The biggest danger for someone with peripheral neuropathy caused by diabetes is to drink alcohol. It’s well documented and can make the symptoms 100 times worse. Slips, trips and falls, confusion and dizziness are ramped up if you drink with this condition. Alcohol could also make the condition irreversible.
The reason treatment, AA, rehab, therapy, support, advice is not working for you Sweetie is because you haven’t accepted that you have to make the effort and fix yourself, you have to decide you are no longer going to be a slave to substances,.
The day you decide to do whatever it takes is the day all those things above will start working for you.
All those resources will be there for you when you are ready to take full advantage of them. I just hope you do before the choice is taken away from you. x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 580
Originally Posted by chickippo
hi Sweetichick
i used to frequent these boards back in 2013/14. i was a rock-bottom, lost everything round-the-clock drunk. i drove drunk, i went to work drunk, i attempted to parent my kid drunk. i had to drink mouthwash just to get straight enough in the morning to get to the shop for booze.
in the end, i lost the job, my kid, my marriage, my home and at the very end, i almost died. i too was stuck in the cycle of drink, withdraw, wait for money, drink....and round and round it went, until i found myself collapsed in the dark hallway of my flat, not knowing if it was night or day (much less what day it even was), and watching my heart beat out of my chest.
i wanted to share my experience with you, including the struggles i faced, and still do, along with my chronic alcoholism.
i first got pass-out drunk aged 8. from there on out, my ‘parents’ included me in the Friday night drinks run, buying me bottles of strong lager. i had my first blackout at 13. by 15 i was hanging out with the street drinkers, downing strong cider and smoking weed. my life was already out of control, but with alcoholic parents, i never stood a chance.
my life was blighted by booze - from my permanently drunk, aggressive and occasionally violent parents, to my ‘partying’ where i was guaranteed to be the most out of control person there. i quit booze for 3 months in 1997, and then again for 9 months when pregnant with my daughter in 1999/2000.
i have spent time in mental hospitals, had detoxes, suicide attempts, police welfare checks called in by my sister in the next county. i was in and out of AA, but still drinking. i didn’t believe i was worth any different than this dreadful half-life of drinking.
i am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, OCD, eating disorders. i am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. i also have widespread arthritis, and my thyroid doesn’t work. i’m 46 years old.
i haven’t had a drink in 5 and a half years. in that time, i have been through a nasty divorce, lived with a man who turned out to be an alcoholic, lost my father to vascular dementia, and find myself starting life alone, again. my child has cut contact with me again due to the behaviours of my ex-partner. i have now left that house and relationship, but my daughter remains estranged.
i haven’t picked up a drink, because if i do, i will die.
in my case, AA saved my life. the fellowship held me through the bad times, but the programme got me sober and, crucially, taught me how to live sober.
my life is hard. i miss my kid, i’m on disability benefits, my home is now a tiny studio apartment. i haven’t picked up a drink.
can you see what i’m hoping to get across, here? if i can get sober, anyone can. you can. but, only you can save yourself.
there is no requirement for membership of AA other than a desire to stop drinking. you know the deal, you say you’ve been to hundreds of meetings. even if you think the programme is horsesh1t, even if right now you have no concept of a higher power - these things are not stopping you from attending what is basically free therapy, in the company of people who do understand your pain.
you have to believe that you are worth saving. my life has been hard, it still is. you are at the tipping point, but for some reason you don’t care. why? have you discussed this with your psych team, your doctors? what’s the underlying reason that you don’t believe you are worth saving?
because, you ARE worth saving. you have worth. you deserve better. but only you can save yourself. i’ve followed your story over the years, and so much of it resonates with me. i am living sober, and aside from my amazing child, it’s the best thing i’ve ever done. it’s the only thing i’ve ever done just for me.
please, sweeti, you need to get off the elevator now. rock bottom is for now where you choose it to be. you are reaching the point where you will have no choices about the outcome of your continued, unchecked alcoholism.
everything i’ve said comes from a place of love and care. i wish you well, and i sincerely hope that you can get well.
you are worth it. you need to believe that. once you have that, you can be free.
i used to frequent these boards back in 2013/14. i was a rock-bottom, lost everything round-the-clock drunk. i drove drunk, i went to work drunk, i attempted to parent my kid drunk. i had to drink mouthwash just to get straight enough in the morning to get to the shop for booze.
in the end, i lost the job, my kid, my marriage, my home and at the very end, i almost died. i too was stuck in the cycle of drink, withdraw, wait for money, drink....and round and round it went, until i found myself collapsed in the dark hallway of my flat, not knowing if it was night or day (much less what day it even was), and watching my heart beat out of my chest.
i wanted to share my experience with you, including the struggles i faced, and still do, along with my chronic alcoholism.
i first got pass-out drunk aged 8. from there on out, my ‘parents’ included me in the Friday night drinks run, buying me bottles of strong lager. i had my first blackout at 13. by 15 i was hanging out with the street drinkers, downing strong cider and smoking weed. my life was already out of control, but with alcoholic parents, i never stood a chance.
my life was blighted by booze - from my permanently drunk, aggressive and occasionally violent parents, to my ‘partying’ where i was guaranteed to be the most out of control person there. i quit booze for 3 months in 1997, and then again for 9 months when pregnant with my daughter in 1999/2000.
i have spent time in mental hospitals, had detoxes, suicide attempts, police welfare checks called in by my sister in the next county. i was in and out of AA, but still drinking. i didn’t believe i was worth any different than this dreadful half-life of drinking.
i am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, OCD, eating disorders. i am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. i also have widespread arthritis, and my thyroid doesn’t work. i’m 46 years old.
i haven’t had a drink in 5 and a half years. in that time, i have been through a nasty divorce, lived with a man who turned out to be an alcoholic, lost my father to vascular dementia, and find myself starting life alone, again. my child has cut contact with me again due to the behaviours of my ex-partner. i have now left that house and relationship, but my daughter remains estranged.
i haven’t picked up a drink, because if i do, i will die.
in my case, AA saved my life. the fellowship held me through the bad times, but the programme got me sober and, crucially, taught me how to live sober.
my life is hard. i miss my kid, i’m on disability benefits, my home is now a tiny studio apartment. i haven’t picked up a drink.
can you see what i’m hoping to get across, here? if i can get sober, anyone can. you can. but, only you can save yourself.
there is no requirement for membership of AA other than a desire to stop drinking. you know the deal, you say you’ve been to hundreds of meetings. even if you think the programme is horsesh1t, even if right now you have no concept of a higher power - these things are not stopping you from attending what is basically free therapy, in the company of people who do understand your pain.
you have to believe that you are worth saving. my life has been hard, it still is. you are at the tipping point, but for some reason you don’t care. why? have you discussed this with your psych team, your doctors? what’s the underlying reason that you don’t believe you are worth saving?
because, you ARE worth saving. you have worth. you deserve better. but only you can save yourself. i’ve followed your story over the years, and so much of it resonates with me. i am living sober, and aside from my amazing child, it’s the best thing i’ve ever done. it’s the only thing i’ve ever done just for me.
please, sweeti, you need to get off the elevator now. rock bottom is for now where you choose it to be. you are reaching the point where you will have no choices about the outcome of your continued, unchecked alcoholism.
everything i’ve said comes from a place of love and care. i wish you well, and i sincerely hope that you can get well.
you are worth it. you need to believe that. once you have that, you can be free.
Please pick up your phone
Now
and phone emergency.... the police,
Say to them that your loved ones
told you to call up
because you are harming yourself,
You have taken a number of pills,
Also alcohol and
at-risk history of falling &
not medically stable.
They can get you a wellness check and the medical help & attention that you need.
Love Love Love to You --
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